First, no, he wouldn't auto-resign if something happened at home. If he has 15 minutes left, then he knows he has time to go take care of something if he needs to.

Second, it's only easy to see in the extremes. But don't forget that you have to take the level of the player into account too if you're trying to determine intent, so the whole thing becomes very subjective. Also, just because he has a few moves doesn't mean there's not much to think about. He could be actually trying to think deeply about these few moves.

Of course you didn't mean it, but you lacked the self-control and had to face the consequences of that. Play unrated games if you can't handle it because what you've seen so far is just the start of it.

I do think the stalling / repeatedly offering draws in obviously lost positions / general douchebaggery gets less common at higher ratings. I faced the stalling issue twice when I started playing on the site last week (when I started playing again I should say, I originally created the account a few years ago). Both times it happened against very low rated players. So limited sample size, but I haven't seen it so far against anyone over 1000. I wouldn't recommend only playing higher rated players though, that's going to get discouraging after a while.

I get it. I'm the bad guy here. He's not at all to blame. I instigated everything.

I also was clearly wrong that he was stalling considering how fast he was moving (we were 60 moves in and his 15/10 timer was right around 15 minutes. And he was not a (relatively) awful player so he wasn't just doing stupid quick moves. Suddenly he has 1 square he can move to and he sits there for 3 minutes. Yep, he was definitely pondering the game. And please ignore the fact that I PMed him and he admitted such. So I was completely right that he was stalling.

But I get it, I'm the bad guy. Please stop kicking me. If there is no way to report abuse then just say "No, there is no way to report abuse." Because there is clearly a mechanism for chat abuse so stop attacking me for that, please. I've already served my punishment for that.

I don't think you're reading my posts very well. This guy was clearly stalling. But I was pointing out how hard that is to prove and how iffy so many situations could be.

Also, I'm not saying you're the only one to blame, but you're the only one you can control, so if you don't want to lose needlessly again, you have to fix you, not anyone else.

I don't know if there's a way to report abuse or not because I don't bother. I don't tilt in chess and so it doesn't affect me.

In 5/2 min blitz the cut off time is just 2 min, so you don´t have to wait that long. And I don´t think its worth tilting if a player leaves without resigning, this just means that you owned him so much that he got pissed off and decided to disregard sportsmanship. I never start the conversation in chat, unless its talk of gg or rematches. Using the chat for being offensive is not worth the effort imo, although I might answer back if someone got a problem with my play, but I never start an argument.

"kill yourself douchebag" is not censored on chess.com, fwiw.

Duly noted.

Apparently Computer2-MEDIUM's opening book includes 1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 f6? I'm really bad at blitz so I've been playing 5 minute games against it and this opening has come up twice. One loss, one draw for me.

Exactly--you don't need a queen to mate, nor did you need to donate that material. You should practice playing the best moves--play to minimize the number of moves until mate. Take your time. If your opponent doesn't resign, at least it gives you something to do.

Over the board I've had people think for minutes when they had one legal move to play, or when they were completely lost. That's fine, I'll see whether I work out absolute best play, or calculate the full gametree to solve the mate-in-x tactics problem. Sometimes it's annoying, but I don't curse at my opponents.

Well said.

Well you're a better person than me.

I ****ed up an easy CM the other night because I was trying to be "courteous" and end the game quickly. I had Q, B, K, and 3 pawns to his King and got stalemate. lol me. I definitely rushed and feel stupid but honestly I was trying to just mate him rather than push another pawn across.

His king was on the a-file and my 3 pawns were on the other side of the board. My first inclination there is to grab another queen and then end it quickly. But I thought that would be silly seeing as I had so much material so I tried to mate him and got SM.

I'm done caring about the other person's feelings. Since I'm not a 2100 master who can figure out mate-in-2 at the drop of a hat, I will simply grab another queen and make damn sure I win the game that I'm destroying.

I mean, I'm all for playing practical chess, and it's fine to just chop pieces to get KQvk, but working on your board vision so that you don't stalemate your opponent when you have plenty of time on the clock is worth doing.

I never said or thought otherwise.

I just don't think the answer to "why can't we report people on chess.com?"

is "get better at checkmating sooner."

http://support.chess.com/Tickets/Submit --> Report Abuse

If that's how you want to spend your time, have fun.

Amusing game I just played on my 'trolling' account (note the incredibly accurate name) - 16 out of 20 moves with the knight

http://www.chess.com/livechess/game?id=685481371

Obviously virtually every move is completely terrible but it's a 1 minute game! I'm trying to get this account over 2000 at 1-min chess but nowhere near at the moment My best is 18 back-and-forth moves and still winning the game - only possible if the opponent takes forever to get around to doing anything though...

Wow, that is great.

Holy **** that is incredible. Legit laughing out loud over here. Trying to eat lunch, too.

All right, here's my attempt at the worst possible chess game, according to the engine "SOS 5.1 for Arena":

http://www.chessvideos.tv/chess-game...r.php?id=87895

There are some other amusing games in my archive if you are really bored. Of course, they are of zero educational value since (1) the opening is ridiculous in all of them; (2) they are virtually all 1-minute games; and (3) I'm not really that good anyway, only 2100 at the best of times.

Just thought it would be amusing to make an account called 'VeryBadOpening' and play, you guessed it, very bad openings

Wow, black was winning after like 22 moves but then BAM white just gets dat checkmate.

lol. Nice video, BJJ.

That's quite amusing but I guess the engine thinks any move that allows a mate-in-1 is equally bad, even though some of them might be objectively better if the opponent doesn't spot it?

I was surprised in any case that the 'worst possible game' ended in a win to one side, I thought it would probably be a draw as it can only end if the only legal move is mate (which it was there).

(mods lemme know politely if this is considered spam)

Looking to swap/discuss chess or poker knowledge/skills for programming skills. Will teach anyone (ur friend, ur kid, ur significant other, etc).

Like having someone analyze ur chess game, I need someone to look over my codes and lemme know how I can refactor/simplify/improve efficiency.

programming background:
* started this November (no prior experience, econ/finance degree),
* currently self-taught,
* focusing mostly on ruby (some python)

looking for:
* specifically "ruby", "ruby on rails"
* ways to significantly increase learning curve (I feel I'm not picking up ideas quickly)
* these subjects work too: recursion, simple, algorithms, coderbyte problems, oop concepts,
* information: how github works, what to look for/ask on stackoverflow, other important programming communities,
* or anything useful

my resume:
* chess master (uscf & fide: 2200+),
* taught/discuss strat with multiple ppl in 1400-2400 uscf range,
* also taught chess on/off to bay area schools for a year,
* 0.8 BB/100 pre-rakeback winner in online cash games for 500K+ hands (2/4 upto 30/60 stud 8 during 2009-2011),
* 1 BB/hr winner in live cash games for almost 2000 hours (midstakes live LHE & mix during 2011-2013)
* taught two college roommate how to easily beat micro/small stakes SNGS 20+ tabling at a time (they had no poker knowledge).

PM me if interested.

Well, I semi-randomly selected between options when there were multiple moves that allowed mate in 1. At some point I started to get scared that the game would end up boring with both sides just shuffling back and forth, so I shifted and started prioritizing CAPTURES that allowed mate on one over other moves that did the same, so as to progress the game while still meeting the worst possible move criteria.

Eventually I stumbled across that final move, which not only allowed mate in one, but actually forced it as the only legal option, and figured it had to be played, and so the game ended.

Depending on how you select among different mate-in-one allowing moves, the game could go any number of different ways. If you truly select randomly, I'm not sure whether draws or decisive results would be more common in the end.

I don't think there can be any argument that a move that forces your opponent to mate you in one is the worst possible move

Interesting point about the captures - I did expect a 'shuffling back and forth' kind of game otherwise.

Latvian counter gambit http://www.chessvideos.tv/chess-game...r.php?id=87936

Black's second move is interesting, I don't recall coming up against that but a King's Gambit with colors reversed has got to be super risky for black! My immediate thought is to play exf5 and see what he has in mind but I'd probably get killed against someone who knows the opening well.

4 Bc4 either loses a pawn or runs into the d5 fork, I'd definitely play exf5 here.

White's attempt to get out of the fork is inept and black takes what he's given.