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Why I Raise My Children Without God Why I Raise My Children Without God

01-15-2013 , 10:53 PM
Disclaimer: I don't have any children.

Below is from ireport.cnn.com

I found this quite an interesting read.

Quote:
CNN PRODUCER NOTE

The author is a mother of two teenagers in Texas who blogs about raising her children without religion. She said she shared this essay on CNN iReport because 'I just felt there is not a voice out there for women/moms like me. I think people misunderstand or are fearful of people who don’t believe in God.'
- dsashin, CNN iReport producer

When my son was around 3 years old, he used to ask me a lot of questions about heaven. Where is it? How do people walk without a body? How will I find you? You know the questions that kids ask.

For over a year, I lied to him and made up stories that I didn’t believe about heaven. Like most parents, I love my child so much that I didn’t want him to be scared. I wanted him to feel safe and loved and full of hope. But the trade-off was that I would have to make stuff up, and I would have to brainwash him into believing stories that didn’t make sense, stories that I didn’t believe either.

One day he would know this, and he would not trust my judgment. He would know that I built an elaborate tale—not unlike the one we tell children about Santa—to explain the inconsistent and illogical legend of God.

And so I thought it was only right to be honest with my children. I am a non-believer, and for years I’ve been on the fringe in my community. As a blogger, though, I’ve found that there are many other parents out there like me. We are creating the next generation of kids, and there is a wave of young agnostics, atheists, free thinkers and humanists rising up through the ranks who will, hopefully, lower our nation’s religious fever.

Here are a few of the reasons why I am raising my children without God.

God is a bad parent and role model.
If God is our father, then he is not a good parent. Good parents don’t allow their children to inflict harm on others. Good people don’t stand by and watch horrible acts committed against innocent men, women and children. They don’t condone violence and abuse. “He has given us free will,” you say? Our children have free will, but we still step in and guide them.

God is not logical.
How many times have you heard, “Why did God allow this to happen?” And this: “It’s not for us to understand.” Translate: We don’t understand, so we will not think about it or deal with the issue. Take for example the senseless tragedy in Newtown. Rather than address the problem of guns in America, we defer responsibility to God. He had a reason. He wanted more angels. Only he knows why. We write poems saying that we told God to leave our schools. Now he’s making us pay the price. If there is a good, all-knowing, all-powerful God who loves his children, does it make sense that he would allow murders, child abuse, wars, brutal beatings, torture and millions of heinous acts to be committed throughout the history of mankind? Doesn’t this go against everything Christ taught us in the New Testament?

The question we should be asking is this: “Why did we allow this to happen?” How can we fix this? No imaginary person is going to give us the answers or tell us why. Only we have the ability to be logical and to problem solve, and we should not abdicate these responsibilities to “God” just because a topic is tough or uncomfortable to address.

God is not fair.
If God is fair, then why does he answer the silly prayers of some while allowing other, serious requests, to go unanswered? I have known people who pray that they can find money to buy new furniture. (Answered.) I have known people who pray to God to help them win a soccer match. (Answered.) Why are the prayers of parents with dying children not answered?

If God is fair, then why are some babies born with heart defects, autism, missing limbs or conjoined to another baby? Clearly, all men are not created equally. Why is a good man beaten senseless on the street while an evil man finds great wealth taking advantage of others? This is not fair. A game maker who allows luck to rule mankind’s existence has not created a fair game.

God does not protect the innocent.
He does not keep our children safe. As a society, we stand up and speak for those who cannot. We protect our little ones as much as possible. When a child is kidnapped, we work together to find the child. We do not tolerate abuse and neglect. Why can’t God, with all his powers of omnipotence, protect the innocent?

God is not present.
He is not here. Telling our children to love a person they cannot see, smell, touch or hear does not make sense. It means that we teach children to love an image, an image that lives only in their imaginations. What we teach them, in effect, is to love an idea that we have created, one that is based in our fears and our hopes.

God Does Not Teach Children to Be Good
A child should make moral choices for the right reasons. Telling him that he must behave because God is watching means that his morality will be externally focused rather than internally structured. It’s like telling a child to behave or Santa won’t bring presents. When we take God out of the picture, we place responsibility of doing the right thing onto the shoulders of our children. No, they won’t go to heaven or rule their own planets when they die, but they can sleep better at night. They will make their family proud. They will feel better about who they are. They will be decent people.

God Teaches Narcissism
“God has a plan for you.” Telling kids there is a big guy in the sky who has a special path for them makes children narcissistic; it makes them think the world is at their disposal and that, no matter what happens, it doesn’t really matter because God is in control. That gives kids a sense of false security and creates selfishness. “No matter what I do, God loves me and forgives me. He knows my purpose. I am special.” The irony is that, while we tell this story to our kids, other children are abused and murdered, starved and neglected. All part of God’s plan, right?

When we raise kids without God, we tell them the truth—we are no more special than the next creature. We are just a very, very small part of a big, big machine–whether that machine is nature or society–the influence we have is minuscule. The realization of our insignificance gives us a true sense of humbleness.

I understand why people need God. I understand why people need heaven. It is terrifying to think that we are all alone in this universe, that one day we—along with the children we love so much—will cease to exist. The idea of God and an afterlife gives many of us structure, community and hope.

I do not want religion to go away. I only want religion to be kept at home or in church where it belongs. It’s a personal effect, like a toothbrush or a pair of shoes. It’s not something to be used or worn by strangers. I want my children to be free not to believe and to know that our schools and our government will make decisions based on what is logical, just and fair—not on what they believe an imaginary God wants.
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01-15-2013 , 10:58 PM
Hear hear, well done random mother from Texas. I don't think there is any way to convince people on the other side of the argument to join yours. I would say that 99% of atheists would want religion confined to religious institutions. Within the religious group, some percentage would agree with that while the other wouldn't. This is just gonna be one big argument where nothing gets accomplished.
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01-15-2013 , 11:35 PM
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Why I Raise My Children Without God
That would be the most counter intuitive thing you could possibly do.

Romans 1:28-32
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

Quote:
God is a bad parent and role model.
If God is our father, then he is not a good parent. Good parents don’t allow their children to inflict harm on others. Good people don’t stand by and watch horrible acts committed against innocent men, women and children. They don’t condone violence and abuse. “He has given us free will,” you say? Our children have free will, but we still step in and guide them.
Hebrews 12:6-11
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

the rest is just blaming god for everything

Last edited by nooberftw; 01-15-2013 at 11:44 PM.
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01-16-2013 , 12:12 AM
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Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
Wait...is he talking about church here?
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01-16-2013 , 12:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Financier
Hear hear, well done random mother from Texas. I don't think there is any way to convince people on the other side of the argument to join yours. I would say that 99% of atheists would want religion confined to religious institutions. Within the religious group, some percentage would agree with that while the other wouldn't. This is just gonna be one big argument where nothing gets accomplished.
Not meant to create an argument.

Maybe it will inspire some parents to do what this random lady is doing. I know a lot of people who are scared to admit they are agnostic or atheist or simply don't care about religion / god.
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01-16-2013 , 05:38 AM
Quote:
When my son was around 3 years old, he used to ask me a lot of questions about heaven. Where is it? How do people walk without a body? How will I find you? You know the questions that kids ask.
Why would any child ask such questions?
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01-16-2013 , 07:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyboosh
Why would any child ask such questions?
If you are told something "just is", and that there is no evidence and that you have to simply take an adult's word for it, and base your hopes, lifestyle, and fears upon it, then the natural reaction of the human mind is to question it, and want to know more. Our natural instinct is to ask "why?".

Of course, with slow, repetitive insistence that questions ought not be asked, and empirircal evidence not sought, and with veiled and not-so-veiled threats relating to a failure to conform, we can strangle that evil dissident out of each of our children and train them to suck our priestly penises and labour in our fields and make sure they hate themselves for being so human while we shield our eyes from our terror of not understanding why the **** we are here.
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01-16-2013 , 07:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Czech Rays
If you are told something "just is", and that there is no evidence and that you have to simply take an adult's word for it, and base your hopes, lifestyle, and fears upon it, then the natural reaction of the human mind is to question it, and want to know more. Our natural instinct is to ask "why?".

Of course, with slow, repetitive insistence that questions ought not be asked, and empirircal evidence not sought, and with veiled and not-so-veiled threats relating to a failure to conform, we can strangle that evil dissident out of each of our children and train them to suck our priestly penises and labour in our fields and make sure they hate themselves for being so human while we shield our eyes from our terror of not understanding why the **** we are here.
And there I was thinking the OP was about a 3yr old and his mom... o_O

Last edited by fretelöo; 01-16-2013 at 07:39 AM.
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01-16-2013 , 07:53 AM
This mother, unfortunately for her, is so smothered by Christianity all around her, that she has to somehow base her beliefs on him even though she knows there's no proof for any of it.

I have two children, and I have a simple way to explain morals -

"If you want the world to be violent - be violent

If you want to be loved - love

If you want the streets to be clean - don't throw litter on the floor

The only contribution you can make is your own behaviour - we have realised as humans that the key to our survival and success is to live in groups, and we demand that those that live in these groups follow basic rules that favour our species continued success. We can have debates about whether they should be changed, and some of us like these debates to be resolved by thought, some prefer physical or emotional force and to make up stories to justify themselves

If you think this doesn't make sense - tell me why

With regards to god, I simply tell them the truth; "I don't know, and beware of human beings that say they do.""

Last edited by Czech Rays; 01-16-2013 at 08:00 AM.
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01-16-2013 , 07:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nooberftw
That would be the most counter intuitive thing you could possibly do.

Romans 1:28-32
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. I think you just stated her case better than she ever could have.





Hebrews 12:6-11
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

the rest is just blaming god for everything
Yes, obviously deferring to the bible (or rather a collection of 6000 to 1800 year old texts chosen by political commitee to stop its members from killing eachother) to prove her son is going to be a murderer is the rational response. I think you just stated her case better than she did.
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01-16-2013 , 07:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tame_deuces
Yes, obviously deferring to the bible (or rather a collection of 6000 to 1800 year old texts chosen by political commitee to stop its members from killing eachother) to prove her son is going to be a murderer is the rational response.
wat*3
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01-16-2013 , 08:03 AM
ya, deletion was the right action for that.
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01-16-2013 , 08:03 AM
Of course if I had thick kids, I'd probably tell them about God to shut them up and stop them from raping and stealing and enslaving people all the time for the rest of their lives.

Oh, hang on, is slavery ok now? I can't remember. Let me know so I can tell my kids. btw current time 21st Century.
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01-16-2013 , 08:08 AM
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Originally Posted by fretelöo
wat*3
Christianity split from Judaism in the second century. Was followed was a period of heresies (parties) and great schisms between churches that split apart. It would take 250 more years before the canon was agreed upon in various councils and synods.

Many early Christian writers are left out. The bible is a diplomatic compromise, not a full bibliography.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fretelöo
ya, deletion was the right action for that.
Not really. The council of Nicaea was central in establishing christian doctrine. The canon wouldn't be complete untill a good half century later, and it is nonsensical to think the Nicaea council didn't play an integral part in this - directly or not.

I deleted it because I have no interest in losing the point in a useless debate on the exact happenings at the Nicaea council. That the current day bible (or rather versions thereof) is a result of compromise between the early churches and chosen by committee is well proven historically.

Last edited by tame_deuces; 01-16-2013 at 08:15 AM.
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01-16-2013 , 08:19 AM
Be a good human being, treat others like you would like to be treated. I try to live by the teachings of Jesus Christ.
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01-16-2013 , 08:19 AM
How did this come to be about the Bible? The Bible doesn't apply here. This could just as easily apply to Pakistan, or Negombo.

This is about why children want answers, what to tell them and how to explain it in a world where you are surrounded by people that believe in god and religious doctrines.

The terrifying thing, is that somebody that accepts that they don't know is forced by the local cult to tiptoe around what she says to her children for fear of offending the majority. It should make Christians sick to the stomach to read this.
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01-16-2013 , 08:26 AM
Tame, so you
  • omit the silly 6000yr claim (wise choice imo),
  • change the "chosen by" to "agree on",
  • change "political committee" to conzil (which was convened by Constantin, but is composed by the body of bishops)
  • and "to stop murdering each other" to "there were differering theological opinions over which was lively debate, some of which resulted in schisms and accusations of heresy."

That seems like a super solid approach when what you're trying to do is accuse a belief system of making **** up... But I agree - we digress. So we should either take this debate elsewhere, or (more appropriate) you simply fold.
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01-16-2013 , 08:29 AM
Women and children are the victims of religion, and they have the physical, genital and emotional scars to prove it for generations.

The great thing about women and children is that they put up with it. They don't fight back. It's so great to be an adult male.

I sympathise with the poor woman in the article. However, a Christian's response would be to look for an answer that fit into his religion's manifesto.
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01-16-2013 , 08:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Czech Rays
Women and children are the victims of religion, and they have the physical, genital and emotional scars to prove it for generations.

The great thing about women and children is that they put up with it. They don't fight back.
I'm sure women will love to hear your thoughts. After you've expressed them, make sure to assert that you're there to teach them to change. They'll love that even more. Do you even realize how preposterous, arrogant, sexist and ridiculous those claims are?
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01-16-2013 , 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by fretelöo
I'm sure women will love to hear your thoughts. After you've expressed them, make sure to assert that you're there to teach them to change. They'll love that even more. Do you even realize how preposterous, arrogant, sexist and ridiculous those claims are?
Do you believe in equal rights for women?
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01-16-2013 , 08:54 AM
Of course. Do you realize I was referring to the "they put up with it and don't fight back" part of your post?
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01-16-2013 , 08:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fretelöo
Tame, so you
  • omit the silly 6000yr claim (wise choice imo),
  • change the "chosen by" to "agree on",
  • change "political committee" to conzil (which was convened by Constantin, but is composed by the body of bishops)
  • and "to stop murdering each other" to "there were differering theological opinions over which was lively debate, some of which resulted in schisms and accusations of heresy."
  • No. Early torah is also just a gathering of scraps intermixed with teachings that go back to the Akkadian empire.
  • Yes, I guess they all agreed and then the losers just volunteered to be deported and exiled, and then they were all friends
  • I have no problems claiming a bunch of bishops from different churches is a political committee.
  • These councils were often held out of necessity because the Churches were near destroyed by conflict.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fretelöo
That seems like a super solid approach when what you're trying to do is accuse a belief system of making **** up... But I agree - we digress. So we should either take this debate elsewhere, or (more appropriate) you simply fold.
There is no doubt that my approach to this discussion is far more solid than yours.
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01-16-2013 , 08:58 AM
ok (hint: when was the accad empire?/ is hat supposed to be an argumment/ lol?/ there *were* no churchES at the time of first nicaea and those supposed churches were not "near destroyed" at the time of nicaea because of inner violent conflict)

Last edited by fretelöo; 01-16-2013 at 09:05 AM.
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01-16-2013 , 09:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fretelöo
Of course. Do you realize I was referring to the "they put up with it and don't fight back" part of your post?
My point is that religions are inherently sexist, and perpetuate sexual, physical and emotional abuse of women and children by men.

What's your point?

You don't need one. I love a good argument
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01-16-2013 , 09:03 AM
ok
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