Open Side Menu Go to the Top
Register
omg omg omg 157 omg omg omg 157

07-17-2016 , 01:23 PM
Day drinking on a Sunday, heading to hell!
07-17-2016 , 01:31 PM
Pics of drunken mistakes?
07-17-2016 , 01:40 PM
next week they're gonna buy a zoo
07-17-2016 , 02:04 PM
不想和你做朋友
07-17-2016 , 02:04 PM
im so sad even if i have a new game i cant stop listening to sad song
07-17-2016 , 02:49 PM
so i was doing dangerous drugs and watching heart surgery videos online late last night and at some point (the end of the night, apparently) i got the sudden overwhelming urge to lie down. i stood up, took about one maybe 2 steps and i remember thinking "you know what, i'll just lie down right here." and i remember lying down kinda. i woke up like a minute later and my face hurt but i was still really sleepy. so i go upstairs and wash my face brush my teeth and attempted to sleep it off.

when i wake up my face still hurt and upon further inspection i noticed i obtained 4 extremely visible bloody cuts on my face. 2 right in the middle of my forehead like 1.5cm apart, both pointing down but one longer than the other. a round like dot cut on the bridge of my nose and another short cut just off my eyebrow near the nose cut. and my jaw kinda feels sore.

how should i explain this?

Last edited by ScreaminAsian; 07-17-2016 at 02:59 PM.
07-17-2016 , 04:05 PM
I just saw something very special while I was at the shop. She was all kinds of attractive. No pictures tho, before you ask.
07-17-2016 , 04:06 PM
07-17-2016 , 04:11 PM
SA, likely you were involved in an episode of fight club, and as the first rule of fight club is no one talks about fight club... I'd suggest you keep your f'n mouth shut.
07-17-2016 , 04:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScreaminAsian
so i was doing dangerous drugs and watching heart surgery videos online late last night and at some point (the end of the night, apparently) i got the sudden overwhelming urge to lie down. i stood up, took about one maybe 2 steps and i remember thinking "you know what, i'll just lie down right here." and i remember lying down kinda. i woke up like a minute later and my face hurt but i was still really sleepy. so i go upstairs and wash my face brush my teeth and attempted to sleep it off.

when i wake up my face still hurt and upon further inspection i noticed i obtained 4 extremely visible bloody cuts on my face. 2 right in the middle of my forehead like 1.5cm apart, both pointing down but one longer than the other. a round like dot cut on the bridge of my nose and another short cut just off my eyebrow near the nose cut. and my jaw kinda feels sore.

how should i explain this?
You had a buzz, but you needed to grab something at the store.
You called Uber.
The car pulled up, and as you opened the door, a freaking bobcat launched itself from the backseat, doing said damage.
It happens all of the time.
07-17-2016 , 04:13 PM
07-17-2016 , 04:39 PM
usa is dangerous
07-17-2016 , 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScreaminAsian
07-17-2016 , 04:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJ46671
You had a buzz, but you needed to grab something at the store.
You called Uber.
The car pulled up, and as you opened the door, a freaking bobcat launched itself from the backseat, doing said damage.
It happens all of the time.
Loled like a dumbass
07-17-2016 , 05:11 PM
07-17-2016 , 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Da33le
I just saw something very special while I was at the shop. She was all kinds of attractive. No pictures tho, before you ask.
07-17-2016 , 05:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackitos
Loled like a dumbass
07-17-2016 , 05:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy


Great story, GS. MOAR!
Alright then. NSFW or virgins story follows below.

Spoiler:
Well I mentioned him being with a woman that had been though gastric bypass surgery so there is a backstory that makes that even better for me.

A few months before he and I had went out to a club and a very curvy and sexy MILF flirted with me hard and wanted to take me to her home. I had driven so I give my friend my car and tell him I'm going to go get it on. This chick looks great big breasts, sexy legs wearing boots she's dressed to kill and I can't wait. We go for a drive to her house out into the middle of no where, we are making out as she drives hands all over each other this is going to be awesome! We get to some pre manufactured home out in the country pitch black out there pretty great place to hide a body, we go into her house. She's got pics of her and her kid on the wall this chick had been huge, I ask " was that you? " yeah it was her...

W get the clothes off and go to the bedroom Sslike women from Africa on National Geographic. There is no turning back and I don't want to get kicked out wherever the hell I'm at I've got my cell but this is before the GPS smartphone days I'll be wondering around all night trying to get my friend to come find me if I do.

So we bang, she shoves her loose milk bags into my mouth, the sex is okay feels a bit loose but whatever I gotta put out now. She's not quitting with just one session though, she rolls over and playing with me getting me hard enough for more action we go at 3 - 4 more times. I ask how many men she's been with at some point she says " Not sure close to 100 "
Spoiler:
I didn't have condoms somehow I lived!
Next morning I kindly ask that she drive my to my friends house about an hour away, thank god she does I give her a few dollars for gas and never see her again.

My friend laughs and laughs about me sleeping with her calling her " fat bastard " until he pays to sleep with her Mexican twin


These are my confessions.
07-17-2016 , 06:01 PM
/clap. Bravo A+ story GS. My own personal feeling that loose skin former fatty would be less attractive than the fat woman. But then again fatties tend to smell bad too so maybe it's a tie?
07-17-2016 , 06:19 PM
Just IMO sample size and all that of course, bigger women are tight and lubed they feel great even if they don't feel great to your eye.

This chick was such a lie, looked great until I saw her without clothes
07-17-2016 , 06:30 PM
later fam

07-17-2016 , 06:32 PM

07-17-2016 , 06:32 PM
I'm on kevroc's side, large women are better and the chances that they change over time is much less. Fat chicks trend to stay fat, worse case they lose some weight. Skinny chicks usually end up gaining weight which means even if you start dating a skinny chick you'll probably end up with a fatty.
07-17-2016 , 06:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Golfing_Stud
These are my confessions.
Question: knowing she's had a kid...is there any answer to "How many men have you slept with?" That you need after you've already no-condom-sexed her?
07-17-2016 , 06:33 PM
Is that a god damned stairway full of potato chips? Do want.

I'd like to do a swan dive into it like Scrooge mcduck from duck tales... That was a damn fine cartoon, the only thing I can stand to watch lately is Rick & Morty and that's mostly because I hope to be just like Rick.

      
m