Sup bros?

I spent about two months lurking in this forum before my trip. Thanks for all the great info y'all have amassed over the past many years.

As such, coming from Boston, and knowing y'all have this er... thing about shoes, I made a brief side trip along the way to Monterrey Bay (the Playground of America!) just to provide you with the following treat:


Well, I hope it was worth it! (I also visited the famous Aquarium)

Anyway, let us begin. Shoes!!!!



So the plan for the trip is to touch down in Vegas Sunday night, watch the WSOP final table at the Rio, then move my bags over to the Aria for some poker and other degeneracy.

Changed planes at LAX. I know Asians like to gamble, and I know there are plenty of Asians in Southern Cali, but... I might have been the only Caucasian on the final leg not employed by American Airlines. (In b4 racist ban!)

OMG, I'm in VEGAS







This was the sign over the baggage claim. Yes, I've heard of this theater! Am I dreaming?



Vegas is magical!



I thought the guys running the cab line with almost military like precision were doing a great job. Funny, they do not accept tips.

"Gold Coast, no tunnel!"

(I'm actually such a nit that I went to an online cab fare site just to confirm "no tunnel" was still the correct option, since Gold Coast is west of I-15. It is.)

Hey, look it's that castle place from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

By the way, I'm a little surprised I've read so little about the Gold Coast on these boards. Cheap, and incredibly convenient to the Rio. Perhaps that is a closely guarded secret. But this is my Pooh-Bah post/thread, so I'm letting the cat out of the bag.

$20 bill trick got me... ah... a room on a higher floor the next day.

But that's OK. Here's my life-roll for the trip:


Money which, sigh, I actually had to work for. See kids, a long time ago I learned a valuable skill by which if I ever needed money I could play this game called online poker (sober) for a few months and easily run up that much cheddar in my spare time. Go ask your parents....

And mind you, this is a life roll, not a bank roll. First time in Sin City. I turn 40 in 4 months. I'm here to live a little.

Speaking of sin, a few weeks before my trip when I was enthusiastically spouting off on Twitter about it, I was followed by Treasures of Las Vegas. I suppose in the interest of camaraderie and due diligence, I'll figure out what that's all about. First I'm taking most of my roll and sticking it in the... hey, where's the room safe? Hmmm. I'll figure that out tomorrow.

Called for the limo service. Got an SUV. Well, fine. Treasures is a nice place. Pretty girls. Gee, I've never been thumb-printed for a credit card transaction before.

In the interest of science, I left after a while and took a cab over to the Spearmint Rhino. Which I'd forgotten in my drunken haze would mean I'd incur the cover charge which was something like $47? With two drink tickets. OK. I have to say, and it might be heresy around these parts, but I think I liked the girls at Treasures better.

I wake up in a hotel room. It's my hotel room. The vast majority of my money is intact. Oh, hah! I'm in Vegas. It's all coming back to me now, except for how I got home last night....

So clean myself up. Go downstairs to the gift shop for a few incidentals and learn the most shocking of news.



OMG they shot Jack Kennedy!!

I'm sure we all remember where we were we we learned that President Kennedy had been shot. For me, it was at the gift shop in the Gold Coast Hotel and Casino.

But, I'm going to put our great national tragedy out of my mind for now. After all I have something to look forward to, as I still don't yet know the outcome of my attempt at the $20 bill trick.

Eh, well. It's not a terrible view I guess.



Still no safe in the room. My room in Monterrey Bay? Had a safe. The last time I took a real vacation to see Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity in my childhood stomping grounds of Washington, DC? Room had a safe. What gives?

OK, so it turns out the Golden Coast offers safe deposit boxes instead. The only thing I have to do now is make it thru tomorrow without losing the key. Easy game imo....

Time to head over to the Rio to check out the World Series of Poker! (to be continued)

Ping Pang Pong FYI

Good report, enjoyed the pics! Saying you remember where you were when JFK was shot and that place was a Vegas casino gift shop sort of gives away a hint at your age range!haha If you hadn't said that, I'd have never known!

Keep it coming!

Good detective work (although these 2 statements don't exactly add up)
Awesome TR! Love reading these things

you guys obviously didnt get the joke. Clicking the link might have helped.

OP is claiming, in jest, that he had not learned JFK had been shot until he saw a replica newspaper story about the shooting during this current Vegas trip.

Good stuff. Enjoying the TR so far and looking forward to more.

I didn't even see the comment about being 40! Duh!lol

Ya I don't normally click the links and watch the vids when I'm on my phone. Def my bad.

Sorry for the derail, OP continue on.lol

OK, so where was I? Oh right!



Time to wander over to the Rio.



Gee, I forgot all about the fact that online poker is legal again in Nevada. Good thing I brought two Android devices along with me on my trip. Because, hah, they'd be crazy not to have an app for that...

Of course, I'm still more or less on Beantown time so it's maybe only 1 PM or so Vegas time. Nevertheless, there's already a line stretching out from the Penn and Teller Theater around the corner, past the Pavilion Florist shop. I get in line but quickly realize, after some conferring with the people ahead of me, that I am not such a superfan that I'm going to stand on queue for 2+ hours before the powers that be even let anyone in, just for a better seat.

(All times are approximate.)

So I decide instead to head off to explore the northern Strip.

Don't drink and drive, kids.



I cut into the Bellagio, eventually being spit out at the famous Bellagio, er, pond? Is that what they have out front, a great big pond?



I expected a little more fountain-like action. But, then again, it is a Monday. Did you know that nearly 2/5's of weekly employee sick days occur on either a Monday or a Friday? It's a conspiracy of shirkers out there, I tell you.



Ah, here's a fountain. But you'd think Caesar's could cough up a few extra bucks for a head



At some point I duck into Margaritaville for an eye opener. At my age I start getting the shakes earlier and earlier in the day if I don't get a drink in me once I get too strung out on booze. Don't tell my boss, but nearly 2/5s of my sick days are either on a Monday or a Friday and there's a reason for that.

Made it roughly as far along the northern side of the strip as the Venetian



Even saw a gondolier! He waved, no pun intended



Played the traditional 2+2 game of Feather-duster/Not-A-Feather-duster



Lost, imo.



(I kid, slipped at least a sawbuck their way for the photo opportunity.)

So while still hovering, as I am tired of walking, around the same Venetian fountain as mentioned above, someone sitting along the cistern decides to tell me his whole life story. I want to say his name began with an "F" (Frank? Fred?), and it has a tragic turn, involving either his father, or his son. Blast, I forget



Cross the street



I have a disturbing premontion from an alternate universe



I know i cut back west a block through another casino, but this picture is the only record I have of that adventure



And at last, I find myself in the real Vegas. Where, apparently, although I've spent my whole life, waiting for a sign, and here I found it out in Vegas "Liquor, Beer, and Wine" the SUN HAS A LASER BEAM AND IS TRYING TO KILL ME.



Sorry, panicked there for a moment.



^Solid advice.

(more to come)

good stuff so far.

It may not be a replica. Millions of people saved their newspapers from that day. Check fleabay, they're not that expensive. We kept ours too but I got robbed.

Great TR. Awesome pics and well written. I really like your dry sense of humor.

Great thread, love the pics.

Where was I? Oh, right, marching around the desert of West (of I-15) Vegas.



At last I see a fellow man. He is waving at me incessantly!



Ah, blast, it's just a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.

And still the sun like a laser pierces my brain. Not sure how much longer I can take this Nevada November. It must be 82 or 85 degrees Fahrenheit out here.

In a fevered dream I thought I saw new construction.



But at this point the sun has completely addled my brain. What if the delusions start again? The court ordered shrink told my parole officer this trip was going to be OK, even therapeutic. Still, I'm already starting to obsess about the 6-foot tall leprechauns. Not to mention the Giant Pandas. Breathe, Conan, just breathe. Those things are all in your head!

My shrink told me at the gate: "You can deal with it all Conan. Deal with it! Where ever you go, there is a school of dealing, and it is always open!"



Nooooo!!!!!!!!

I decide to stop at the liquor store just north of the Gold Coast for a bottle of Tito's Vodka and some soda water. Time to pre-drink, play some $5 craps, and put those silly delusions out of my mind.

If the above isn't a reference to this, here's something I think you might enjoy:

On second thought, don't encourage me!

OK, made it back to the Gold Coast. Pre-gamed. Won $85 playing $5 craps. Thank you Mason, e-book paid for itself. Fist bump? Erm, no? Hand shake?



^^Seriously, if you want the house to have the least edge against you on the craps table, buy this book.

I once again head over to the Rio and now things are truly popping.

Ladies and Gentleman, J. C. Tran!



OMG, ESPN cameraman!



Six foot tall leprechauns?? For once in my life, I think they are really there.



I wander, nonchalantly, into the high limit room (#47 on your tourist guide).

Meet some absolutely lovely fans of Riess the Beast



One of them swears up and down he can get me a lanyard to get me into the deepest bowels of the WSOP final table audience. But, I think about it, and thank him, as I could rather use a drink....

(stay tuned, next chapter involves a wizard)

Well, hell, that's it! I'd forgotten that the song and lyrics were quite so obscure; I guess it's sort of a problem with rockabilly that a casual listener might actually think it really is Buddy Holly era music that everyone should be familiar with. I actually saw The Reverend Horton Heat open for The Smashing Pumpkins when they toured for Siamese Dream during its Texas leg (although, technically, Blind Melon played a set in between; let us never speak of this again ).

Getting back on track with updating this thread in 3... 2... 1...

Nice tr! Looking forward to the rest

Welcome to the November Nine!



So I finally get into the Penn and Teller Theater. You know, these guys:



3rd floor balcony.



Seats weren't filling up much after I got there. And not much was happening yet. So... I eventually headed back over to Shutters Bar for more drinks.

Sup, Stu, Huck?



So I end up shooting the breeze with this guy Saye. Who, like every person I met on this trip was incredibly friendly. As we were finishing our drinks he reveals to me that he is actually a wizard who can access a magical portal to a land of a free buffet and half-priced drinks.







Hear's a pic of Saye as we travel through the magical portal:



Sure to his word, free buffet. This was the view back to the land of mere mortals from this strange alternate dimension:



I chewed some grub. Drank a manhattan or two. And the best part was the wall of televisions tuned to ESPN. The World Series of Poker final table was on! Why, this is almost like being there!

Ah, wait, I am there or at least I'm supposed to be. Once this dawns on me, I beg off of Saye's generous hospitality, explaining that I didn't fly all the way here to watch events unfold second-hand!

By the time I get back I can squeeze into the first balcony. So here's some more pics!







Eventually, I was sitting among the second tier of Jay Farber's railbirds. I even nabbed a free T-shirt!



Railbirds:



Eventually, we all file out for the dinner break. How many leprechaun's can you find in this picture?



Good! What about now?



This guy in the Giant Panda suit seemed drunk, dehydrated, and looking for trouble. Should I call security? Nah, I'm sure this situation will resolve itself organically!



So I kept watching until they were down to about 4 players. But I realized that, much like Panda-suit man, I was actually rather drunk, so even though I had $500 cash and all my credit and debit cards on me, I simply walked across the street and went night-night.



Ah, heck, why am I all by myself in the back of a limo? This won't end well! (To be continued)

"I've been a bartender in Vegas for 20 years, and I've never seen anyone that drunk before."

So where are you? You're in some motel room. You just, you just wake up and you're in... in a motel room. There's the key.

It feels like maybe it's just the first time you've been here but... perhaps you've been there for a week? Three months? It's... it's kind of hard to say, I don't... I don't know. It's just an anonymous room. There's nothing in the drawers, but you look anyway. Nothing except the Gideon Bible, which I, I of course, read religiously. Ha ha. Hmm.

You know you know who you are, and you know kind of all about yourself. But just for day-to-day stuff, notes are really, ah, useful. Sammy Jankis had the same problem, but he... he really had no system. He wrote himself a ridiculous amount of notes but he'd get them all mixed up. You really do need a system if... if you're gonna make it work.

You kinda learn to trust your own handwriting. That becomes an important part of your life. You write yourself notes and where you put your notes that also becomes really important.

You need, like, a jacket that's got, like, six pockets in it. Particular pockets, for particular things. You just kinda learn to know where things go and how the system works. And you have to be wary of other people writing stuff for you that is not going to make sense, or is gonna lead you astray.

I mean, I don't know how these people try and take advantage of somebody with this condition. -- Memento (chronological cut)

So where am I? I'm in some hotel room. I look out the window and see the Gold Coast sign. That answers that. I reach into my pocket and pull out a half dozen "transaction declined" ATM receipts. Ah, I must have been at a strip club last night.

There's a brimming mug of cold coffee on the nightstand. I strip off the remnants of my three piece suit, shower and throw myself back into hoodie mode. (How'd y'all think I got / could have gotten so much access? Dress for success people!)

Since, liquor aside, I'm still on Boston time, the third shift is still manning the bar at TGI Fridays (a company that, back in the day, helped me and a half dozen of my friends work our way through college) so I figure out where the cold coffee came from. The bartendress somehow convinced me to choke down some coffee and eggs late last night once I'd returned from my blackout adventure at Treasures. And sent me away with a full mug.

She says she'd never seen anyone that drunk before, but I do retain faint glimpses from that night at the club. They seem to mostly involve some sort of magical white powder, about which I am not wholly unfamiliar back here on the East Coast, which very briefly snapped my memory apparatus back into the "on" position.

Anyway, I have some more eggs and coffee and wander back to my room to make sure I accomplished just that one little task...

Sigh. I am Sammy Jankis.

Hahahahahaha

Awesome

I have to say I think the bartender was trolling you. Unless you left some notes out, it seems you didn't hit the upper echelon of Vegas drunks. We have all seen security have To get a wheel chair to get the guy who **** himself/threw up all over the vp bar. Or the passed out girls being shoulder carried out of the lub while her skirt flaps up in the breeze. You would have to have spit some real Un-profound truths to be the most drunk guest she's ever seen. Or lost the ability to speak all together. Hmmmmm.

In.