Ok so let's compile a list of things people do that tilt you. It can include stories. This is different to how to be a fish, because some of those are hillarious, this is things that tilt you.
Ok I'll start.
1. People taking ages to make trivial decisions. OMFG JUST FOLD OMFG.
2. People who get raised, look at their cards and hold them horizontally on the table. THEY FOLD EVERY ****ING TIME. BUT IT TAKES THEM 1 MINUTE TO MUCK THEIR JUNK.
Then they say, "you had me" and flip over a junk ass hand.
3. Slamming the table. One fish last night every time he checked he would tap the table. Fine. Except he slammed it making the whole ****ing table shake. Omg that tilted me so hard.
4. People who prematurely scoop the pot. Fish raises, other player calls. Fish flips over TPWK and starts scooping the pot before other player shows his hand. The other player ALWAYS HAS A WORSE HAND WHEN CAN SOMEONE SHOW THIS GUY A BETTER HAND WTF HE KEEPS DOING IT
5. People who stare you down for no reason. They have a crap hand facing your all in. They stare you down for 2 minutes. I pull faces at them. I think they must be fish thinking about calling with ATo or something and they flip over some ****ty insta fold hand. STOP WASTING PEOPLES TIME *******
6. People who know your bluffing. "I know you have nothing so I call" the donkey says flipping over 74 suited. WHAT THE **** ARE YOU CALLING YOUR TOURNAMENT WITH THAT HAND WTF.
74 cracks your 9T or whatever every time.
7. Trivial decisions taking too much time. I go all in as a shortstack on the button. BB is deepstack with 30bbs and takes about 3 minutes to call with 34s for an extra 0.5 bbs. His hand wins putting me on insta tilt. Lucky im out the game.
8. Same as 7, except the complete donkey is actually SEIROUSLY CONSIDERING FOLDING THEN HIS FRIEND SAYS "YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL IT'S ONLY 0.5BB"
By that point its too late to say STFU as the donkey makes the hero call. Nice play everyone says, tapping the table in awe of the ultra call.
Edit: I'm not really
angry about these, most of the fish are just trying to have fun
This is just what I think in my soul when I am on mega tilt.