Quote:
Originally Posted by Natloose
Hi there, thank you for your comment!
Its somewhat comforting to know that I'm not the only one. I have attended GA meetings with no success. They're depressing, but one positive is meetings other like myself.
I work six days a week, 9 hours a day.
I run 13k every few days and I'm in pretty good shape.
I don't find much excitement in life.
Even sex is boring after 2 minutes.
I think this is where poker takes its advantage. I have gone long periods without playing but I always succumb.
Like you my BRM is horrific. I just gambled my holiday spending money and had to seek an advance from work (twice). I find other people are saving me from my ****ty situations. I feel a lot of guilt and perhaps worthlessness.
I haven't bought myself clothes or shoes in years or rarely even go out for meals. Maybe once every 3 months.
Money really is everything.
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men men men, I am like you....... and I am just starting to put in my head what I have wasted and lost for this... I also had that phase where I went to ask for advance money, over and over again...
it's only in us natloose, nobody else will get us a better life than ourselves, can't you see how the other guy speak to you, nobody cares, and who cares, can only do so much, and we, WE, have to do the most of the work, the most of the work is just leaving our money outside of it!
that's what I am putting in my head, strongly, day after day, along with other stuff that makes me think and be convinced this is not good for me.
I don't think anymore in recovering anything I lost, this is a pleasure of mine, a passion of mine to play, and I continue to play and win money, just, not with my own, thru freerolls, promotions, now I truly play for fun. whenever I want.
my money, your money, has to go to other stuff, and there is so many other better stuff we can put our money in, and you know what, because we have wasted so much money in this, everything now just seems cheap! I can't waste money anymore buying some expensive stuff that I would never have bought before getting addicted to gambling because it was too expensive for me... nothing will ever so expensive (of course there are exceptions, i'm talking about good/pricey food/clothes/stuff like that) as wasting the amount of money I have wasted gambling.
start putting stuff in your head that makes your will to play more negative than good, and then go play anyways, but not with your money, at least until you have everything else you need/want/would like to buy, and spare money....
I hope you find a good future... for me it's the only thing that keeps me going is the hope of a better future. and the hope I will be able to waste my money in stuff that truly is worth it, meaning, it can be bad for me, but it will give me more fun than gambling! and of course spending well spent, is the most pleasurable thing. do it, start putting thoughts in your head, go against yourself, be mad at yourself, and ridicule the gambling, this is ridiculous what we have been doing, and we can't do it anymore.
we have people that love us, nobody wants to see us burn money and throw money to garbage, our hard earned money, all of it, it's ok if I throw 10 bucks to the garbage of my own money and I give it to that guy that was calling you psychopat, and I get a little fun playing with him and inflating his ego a little more, but it's not ok to give him all like he wants, let him go work like we do! it's not ok we keep on doing this men... it's not ok, don't do it, there are better addictions to choose, in place of addictions there are better alternatives also that are not bad addictions also!
you have even more luck than me, I think you are more confortable with women than me, and you can find a women for you more easy than me because I am very shy and I am in another country where I don't speak the language, and I've always wanted since I am really addicted to gambling, to have a woman with me that give me love and that I give everything of me to her, and that I can trust to help me forget and to help me do other stuff other than gamble, and I can't, I haven't....
not even a woman, just my mum would be enough! if I had my mum with me, I'd give all my money to her to keep and take care of it and use it as she pleased and needed because everything that's mine it's from my mother and will always be, and she would help me to save money and to overcome this bullsh... but I don't have her with me... I don't have my brother... but that's the solution you know, love, company, good and true company, people that love us and that are good and happy people that will make us instantly forget the tought that we should be in a hole with our computer or on the casino winning, while in fact we're losing, because we want to see cards, we want to see winning percentages... but winning percentages are luck percentages and we will never beat luck, always, like we want, we can beat luck sometimes, but not always, and most of the times the others will be more lucky than us, and we don't manage our assets well, we can't manage our luck because we want everything fast, we are fast people...
don't keep it up, i'm serious, don't keep it up, because our life can be better than this... there's money in this, I know, a lot, I know, but this is not a money thing, this is a luck thing, this is a fun thing, the money comes after, and we're putting the money first, all of it, it makes no sense, we were born without limits and we want to live without limits, but here we have to put limits, it's against our nature, so for me it's best I stop because I can't put a limit like the people that bankroll-manage, I can't do it, so I won't, I can play the same!