Quote:
Originally Posted by leavesofliberty
Reading, recommend as well The Art of War by Sun-Tzu, and Nietzsche.
Damn leavesofliberty!
Thank you very much for your answers, they are truly helpful and carry great content! I am really thankful to you that you took the time to speak about this with me _o_
I had never heard about eustress! And that feels inspiring...
It reminded me of when I was winning, and was playing very good for the course of days, and I noticed my nerves were different than usual when I was winning those times, meaning whenever I got suck out, a bad beat and I lost a significant amount, the majority of times I would feel angry/stressed out/tilt, but those times I would just face differently, not caring at all, I was in the future, in the objective of winning, and nothing I could loose would make get out of that zone, which resulted in profit,
but I also noticed that whenever I faced the game like that, was when I was happy with myself and others, and satisfied both physically and mentally because I had other activities like my day-to-day job that made me focus entirely on that, and be focused 100%, which made me get back to the game, on a totally different way of being, resulting in that eustress!
And I always thought that's "the zone", and feel frustrated, because it's damn hard to achieve that, and the degenerate addiction sinks in trying to achieve it, when in truth I didn't make anything to achieve it.
I've always been a great fan of philosophy, and I've read about Nietzsche and Sun Tzu before, and some things they've written, but never a book of them, even tho I always wanted. That sure is something I wish for my life, to find those books and read them, because I feel that's life changing.
Even now, I always thought about life and the view of God as Nietzsche saw it also, and I was truly amazed to find Nietzsche was the only other person, that even wrote about it, that viewed this things, the same way I do! I've read several stuff of him and Sun Tzu, but never a whole book, which is as I said a wish of mine since many years.
And I will surely search that...
Other thing I will invest now, is starting to learn Kundalini Yoga, I found a center by coincidence passing by, next to where I live, and I have always been interested in learning and doing yoga, much because of the kundalini aspect of it, and the best is the center is kundalini focused! So I got to give it a shot!
You are damn right, and I wish I could have the equilibrium you have!
But you know what I've always said it's my problem, my zodiac sign is libra, but I am a different/unusual libra, I am that kind of libra, that you put one elephant on one weight, and a feather in the other, and the feather will go down, it will actually seem it weights more than the elephant. lol
So, it's a struggle! Even tho it's my dream to achieve the balance spoken of in yin and yang philosophy.
I have felt for a long time I got to make that stoppage and dedicate myself only to learning, but the damn addiction and unconscious, delusional and (dumb) negative view of the state of my own life, never allowed me to.
Now it's the time, and I intend to do it for years, because I will not be able to have savings if I continue or get back at it after weeks or months... Now I also view the game as something I don't crave for, I rather do something else, even if it's pointless useless and not enjoyable, than put my money on it again, and loose one single hand.
But inside of me, I am afraid, terribly afraid, I live scared I will turn into a gambling zombie again, and will do it again, this thought scares me everyday now, that's why after that I keep telling myself this is the worst thing I like, and that I have to not like it, to hate it, and i'm starting to hate it like that, but my fear is there, together with the lack of control wanting to possess me again... But it's like bad tasty food craving, whenever I can, I do it, I keep doing it, but now I do it without my money, I do it for the fun, it's less fun, so I end up leaving it more quickly and I go search for something else I like, and that's my secret for recovery I think.
Thank you again very much, all the best for you friend, I'm sure you will continue to be rewarded with your life, you seem to be a role model.