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Old 09-23-2020, 01:20 PM   #1
ProperPlace
newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 21
Is it time for me to face reality and quit poker?

At this point my motivation for playing is the the same as that of any other Joe Shmoe with the poker dream: finanical freedom while "self employed", making more than with 9to5 (not a huge amount more realistically, but more).
But I feel like I need to accept that this is just a fantasy at this point because I don't enjoy the process any more, not even a little bit. When I log in to start grinding, I feel like I'm there because I want to win big pots that session and anything less is just huge annoyance and frustration. It's embarrassing to admit but even when I have a stretch of obvious preflop folds it annoys me to have to fold because if I'm folding I'm not winning big pots. When I play even 200 hands BE or losing slightly it makes me want to get the f*** away from the computer and do something else. Those feelings are naturally amplified when I start losing buyins. I get no satisfaction from the process of playing and thinking about strategy and playing the hand right and focusing on decisions. I just want results now and if I don't get them it just makes me not want to play. It's like I'm just flat out of any patience whatsoever for results coming in the long term. Losing 5 BIs over 5k hands is bordering on torture when it didn't use to be like this.
Can anyone relate to this? I would do anything to be able to flip a switch and enjoy poker and be passionate about it, but the feeling has been gone for a long time. It's hard for me to accept that it's time to give up, but it seems like that's the reality whether I like it or not...
Does anyone have any words of wisdom for someone in my position?
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