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Old 08-18-2011, 03:10 AM   #25
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 28
Re: My somewhat different poker story (extremely tl;dr)

Originally Posted by Chuck Bass View Post
Vol.4: From SNGs To Heads-Up Cash games, Discovering CardRunners And Quitting My Job For Poker

This is a feeling I've struggled with so many times during my career. It's almost perverse. You do your best to win, you spend endless hours studying and getting better. You fine-tune your game to a point where it's almost too good. Yet you still want to go broke, because being broke means being free. Being broke means that none of the negative emotions associated with poker can touch you, because you can't play. You are free to do whatever you want, you no longer have to experience the adrenaline rushes, your heart beating faster and faster, the disappointment when you catch an unfortunate river. You are free from checking your bankroll 10 times every session, you're free from the stress. You're free from posting hand histories to forums, checking if a push was profitable with SNGWiz. You're free, because you're off the bandwagon. The only way to not be able to play poker is to be broke. This was the first time in my career I felt this strange feeling of wanting to lose. I wanted to commit a poker suicide, or at least take a break.
Wow, it boggles my mind English is your 2nd language. Articulating thoughts in writing is tough but the above concept is explained so well and it makes so much sense. Through the middle of Vol 4.. will have to read the rest some other time... GOOD STUFF.
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