I finally have a contribution to this thread
Played
Perdue Oasis on Friday from the gold tees (6373 yards). It's relatively new (less than 5 years old) and a beautiful course. Pristine greens, fairways, and bunkers. Only $49 (with cart cause my friend had some deal on cart w/ green fee)
It's my first round of the year, and I've only played 5 rounds in the last 4 years. 10 years ago I was a 10 handicapper, but haven't played more than 5 rounds a year since. Me and a friend (the other 2 ditched out cause they're pussies) went out for a round before a night of hijinx was to ensue. So this meant many a drink on the course. Before the round started I would have been extremely happy shooting 90. The other guy had only golfed one time prior this year, and I presumed that he was a bogey golfer.
We hit the range (free warmup balls) for a bit and of course I hossle-shank my first 7-iron. But then I'm mint with the rest of my irons somehow. Of course hitting the driver was terrible, and I sprayed it all over the place.
Then, since the course was dead (I have no clue why - a beautiful 23C day on Friday afternoon) we decided to play the 2 hole practice course (after picking up tons of beer first of course). Definitely a good start to the day - par then pulled a drive to the right and didn't feel like scouring the rough for a crap ball when there were ~40 geese fighting each other.
Sit on the first tee, and we just get behind this hack foursome. [censored]! So we tee off and are right down the middle. They let us play through immediately. Spectacular!
So with no one in front of us we pace our way through the course. I'm hitting the ball great, and my partner is getting himself out of trouble very nicely. After a 2-putt birdie by me, and a 40 foot putt birdie by him where he fist pumps and runs around the green screaming (lol) we're both 3 over after 8. Half-cut, I'm like "[censored] a bogey and we break 40 on the front!", and proceed to hammer a drive down the right side of the fairway. He then fades his left, leaving a pond in between him and the hole. Of course he splashes it and takes triple. His out card had 2 triples, a bogey, and a birdie, with the rest pars. My supposedly spectacular drive rolls into some mystery bunker leaving me 150 to the centre. 8 iron baby! of course it's way too good, right at the pin, and a club and a half long. So I chip, 3-jack, and shoot 40. 4 bogeys, a double, and 4 pars. Bittersweet.
We get more drinks and hit the back. We both par after nice saves, setting the stage for the rest of the back. Bla bla bla I take double on 12 after my 3 wood second shot into a par 5 hits a sprinkler and bounces straight right - into the lip of a bunker 30 yards out. Having to hit it out sideways, I proceed to chip and 3-putt again for double. Sick swing. Now I have to par out for 79 (not that I expect that anyways). So I 3-putt once more coming in, and am 9 over going into 18 - taking no mulligans and putting everything out (which is so tough - people with gimmies probably shoot 2 strokes lower than they should). My partner is 10 over, with 1 mulligan taken on 15. I need birdie to shoot 80, and eagle for 79! [censored] would this be sick - I'd be so drunk!
I hammer another drive while my partner starts making a mess of this hole going to the right. He takes the cart and I take the 15 degree orlimar trimetal and a 4-iron. I decide to metal-it-up. I hit a decent-feeling shot, but completely lost it in the setting sun. Unfortunately my partner was busy looking for his ball, so he provided no help. It felt like I lost it left, which was safe but provided a difficult up and down for birdie. Being safe, I hit a provisional to about 45 feet - it's always easier the second time, isn't it?
So he meets me by where my ball was projected to be, but we can't find it. The abundance of goose feathers and coors/smirnoff ice is making this task difficult. We end up not finding the ball [censored] :LKNSER:LN#$;sdnklfs so instead of having an up and down for 80 I have a 45 footer for par and 81. Well I'm so pissed off that I end up making it somehow, and my friend takes triple (again) for 85. I'm extremely happy with the 81 (par 72), but I'd have liked a chance at 80. Oh well - still spectacular! I should really quit golf now, as I could golf another 100 rounds and not do this again...
p.s. to me, golf is a verb