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Old 05-06-2018, 05:15 AM   #276
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Appreciate all the responses, suggestions, and information on pooping your pants.

ImSoSleepy: Really appreciate the support and it sounds like we have a bit more than just a little in common! Maybe paths will cross in Europe if you make a trip to Hungary.

Loosekanen: Great breakdowns of the cities and I definitely agree that Barcelona is really quite the outlier there. Surprising about Tallinn, but I havne't looked into it too much and it looked quite nice, so thank you for the heads up that not all that glitters is gold. Seems like everything is pointing to Budapest! Romania also an interesting idea, so I might start circulating that around and looking into it further. I imagine I will quite like Europe (only been when I was 10 or 11 years old and remember seeing some gypsy lady with her titty hanging out near a McDonald's we stopped at), so maybe will end up trying to bounce around various countries for a bit.

Lol59: That's bold using the underpants. I've used socks before. I think I mentioned using them at the rave along the Great Wall of China. Haven't had any stomach problems in Taiwan - the only place I've ever **** 12 times in a day was in Beijing.

Esquire gave me a call just 10 mins ago - he landed in Taipei. So, we are meeting up for beers. He also asked me what the "itinerary" was, so I think he wants to get at it. Esquire is in a relationship with a Singaporean girl at the moment, so it's actually quite strange - and the first time that Kenneth and I are both in Asia at the same time and in a relationship.

Finishing up a little work at a cafe and then heading out for the night. The girlfriend got lowballed by the crypto company, so she's countering and deciding whether to take it. That will open up a whole new set of considerations if she doesn't take it.

Be grand everyone,

More updates to come.

-Big Body
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Old 05-10-2018, 06:54 AM   #277
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

A night out with Esquire is always one that is deadly for the body and mind. Nothing too exciting about the night, but we went out on Sunday night, and only did I start feeling whole again on Wednesday.

It was actually a much needed night, and that was the first time in a long time (6 mos +) that I've gotten hosed to the nth degree. Everyone has those buddies where you literally feed off their energy and vice versa, and drinking becomes just a compliment to good conversation and astute observation - and, next thing you know, that good conversation and astute observation becomes drooling on yourself and barking at random people outside your local noodle shop at 4am.

The withdrawals from drinking usually hit me pretty hard mentally, as over the years I've tended to become more of a recluse in my hungover state - something which isn't conducive to fostering a lot of positive thoughts post-five Jagerbombs.

Esquire did bring attention to something, which I thought I was over since I've been in a relationship for 10+ months now - after I acknowledged that I mentally felt a little off after drinking so much. He said, "Well, you are gonna have to be prepared for a lot more of those days once you leave Taiwan." It is a little overwhelming, but I think at this point in my life where everything is so comfortable, but boringly so in certain ways, maybe Big Body needs to start riding some of those high and low waves again - or at least doing so in a more constructive way this time.

The girlfriend officially signed her contract for the crypto company and put in her two weeks at her current company, so it's all starting to feel a bit more real now. But, it's exciting.

2018 has already started off as the best year yet (in recent years), and I think it will continue to be one of the best. 2017 was a year of building blocks, but this is the year when we reap the benefits. Also, I miss writing about some of my adventures, and it did become a positive way of coping with loneliness and the thought of whichever 40 year old Asian masseuse I was fist deep in at 5am.

Let's get back to it - but no throat infections, STDs, or overtly negative thoughts this time around.

-Big Body

Also, start bumping Method Man's 'What the Blood Clot' ASAP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXuEOdgTFJY

Last edited by BorisTheHead; 05-10-2018 at 07:09 AM.
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Old 05-28-2018, 05:46 AM   #278
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Hong Kong was so absurdly aggressive - longer post forthcoming in the next week or so.

Day 2 of the trip, go down to the pool at my hotel to find Esquire, tie all disheveled, eyes glazed over, chain smoking Chinese cigarettes and 8 empty Asahi cans next to him, followed by him getting a call from his boss that he needs to be on the first flight back to the U.S. for work. Realizes he can make the 6pm flight, lights up another cig, finishes off his last Asahi, and dashes off into the hectic streets to find a cab to the airport.

Now that HK is over, that means the big move is on the horizon. Let me know if any of you hyenas are in the Budapest area and want to have a few nights out or discuss wine, women, and song at a cafe.

Updates rising.

-Big Body
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Old 05-31-2018, 03:05 AM   #279
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Hey Boris, I’m looking for a studio not too far away from gongguan station and Chiang kai-shek memories hall station. Any area you’d recommend?
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Old 05-31-2018, 04:51 AM   #280
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Hey LB,

I would choose Gongguan over CKS Memorial any day of the week. Gongguan right near a university, has some great food markets, cafes, and isn't too far from the center of town.

Also, I really love this area called Dongqu (East District) - Zhongxiao Dunhua area. Kind of where all the nice shops are, but can find pretty great apartments with balconies overlooking these quaint back alleys, near a bunch of Japanese BBQ joints (izakayas), and great central location.

Finally, I live right near Tonghua night market - about 7 min walk from 101 and ATT 4 Fun, a big shopping mall area. I quite like my area, building is called W110, and does serviced studio apartments.

Let me know if any more questions! When are you coming out to Taipei?

Cheers,

Big Body
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Old 07-04-2018, 02:18 AM   #281
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

I audibled super hard due to having a bit of work build up (a good thing) and am putting Budapest on hold for a bit while I get this work sorted (helping an ICO out). Instead, taking the talents to Vietnam - specifically, Ho Chi Minh.

Excited to get at it with BGP. More to follow, as I'm moving in less than 3 weeks. If anyone is in HCM and wants to get weird, shoot me a message.

-The Big Body
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:46 AM   #282
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Nice bro, looking forward to hearing some Vietnam degen stories.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:39 AM   #283
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Thanks YF, no doubt there will be some impending. I'll also start posting some older stories which I haven't posted yet (out of respect to my lady).

Pretty nuts, but I leave on Sunday (5 days). Feeling pretty excited about, the girlfriend and I are on the same page, and things seem at peace. All needed to go into a new move with a clear mindset.

One love everyone. Looking forward to getting at it and changing things up a bit. More thorough updates and posts coming. Once again, if anyone is in Ho Chi Minh, give a holler and we can grab beers and coffee.

"These scars gon' get me to the treetop, I'm different now but I used to keep my eye on tail like peacocks."

-The Big Body

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Old 07-17-2018, 05:03 PM   #284
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

There is a vietnam skype group i can add you to boris if you want. Ill be back in HCMC likely next month so i would be up for beers then.

Skype: billysbones1
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Old 08-19-2018, 09:49 AM   #285
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Chapter 1: Reborn as a Phoenix, the Story of Big Body

It's about that time. Life moves fast, and I haven't been the best at reporting or keeping up with it, but there are happenings to report.

If anyone didn't know, I moved to Saigon at the end of July due to my visa ending, and feeling relatively emotionally "stuck" in Taipei (likely attributed to my own doing). If you're curious the mindset I was in, you can check out some of the previous posts to see my Notebook-esque love story where by consensus ad idem (meeting of the minds), we agreed to end on good terms.

First, as an author pays homage to their deceased parents and lost loves, I would be remiss not to openly thank BGP for letting me stay with him and his girlfriend for the first few days while I settled in. They took me in, showed me around, lent me a towel to dry my sweaty balls with, and made this foreign land feel a little bit like home. Thank you BGP. You are a true roll dawg (Ruff Ryders' Anthem style) and I'm looking forward to stopping, dropping, shutting em down, and opening up shop more.

For starters, I feel alive - the best I've felt in 2 years. The emotional swings are far less volatile when you're surrounded by several like-minded individuals (once again, shout out to BGP and this time Gonzo too). Saigon is the Mr. Hyde to Taipei's Dr. Jekyll - lawless and uninhibited, raw and slightly vulgar, cruel and unforgiving. And, I do worry my inner barbarism is 12 beers, a balloon, and a single glance from a short-skirted local away from being unleashed.

However, it has charm and character by the rickshaw load. Hidden cafes, great nightlife, and above average international food. Plus, it actually doesn't feel as foreign as Taipei in certain ways, as it's a popular tourism destination - so, there is that comfort of seeing a brethren in arms quite frequently.

I think I've reached a point in my life where having lived both an emotionally volatile lifestyle and a stable one, that the stable one actually had me feeling relatively dead inside. Somewhat of a shell, knowing what to expect day in and day out, and not really living with focused purpose. That's not to say I think an emotionally volatile lifestyle is the best for me either. However, I think I tend to lean towards keeping my options open - meaning it lights a fire under my ass that the next full moon could lead to howling at the moon and waking up naked in the London Zoo (American Werewolf in London - watch it).

Some observations:

1. Vietnamese love balloons - This isn't in a wholesome way, or because they love throwing birthday parties for children. These people just love nitrus-oxide. More power to them, but caught me off guard.

2. Drugs are way too easy to get - Have been to Bui Vien Street a few times so far, and it's like Wan Chai on steroids. Shirtless, strung out locals approaching you with dirt-cheap and likely laced drugs. I always feel like the nerd who wants to ask a dealer 30 questions about: where it came from, how many hands it passed through, if it pairs well with a red or white wine, and if it's gluten-free. Hard to do that here.

3. Lots of plastic surgery - A fair amount of the women I've seen just have monstrous, racism-ending, big fat titties. Personally, Big Body doesn't generally go for the silicone, but there's a lot of things I didn't think I'd grow to like in my life - like grapefruit juice, cheese out of a tube, and the French. Went to a baby shower of a professional mistress, who is taken care of and pops out kids on the reg. And, while she looked great in her pictures, there was a slight resemblance to the Saw doll that rides a tricycle.



4. Vietnamese like shooting the **** - Ordered a Grab the other day and gave the phone to my door guy to let the driver know how to get to my building, my door guy just wandered off and ended up sitting down on a bench to talk to the Grab driver for about 10 minutes. There's an uncanny ability for Vietnamese to make small talk with one another, and usually people have no problem saying something to one another in an elevator. I like it.

5. Cockfighting is a thing - BGP warned me about the chickens and roosters making noise outside of his apartment in the morning. Went out to search for an apartment one day and saw a group of people with two big ole' roosters going at it. Came home later that night to a group of people dancing to party music while a man hoisted his cock above his head - likely in triumph and celebration.

Female-wise, I've relatively stayed the course since the breakup, and mentally feel that it's been the right move. I haven't hooked (a bit scarred from that throat infection I was graced with in 2017), and still have a good amount of dust on my dick that needs to be brushed off. Pulled down my pants to piss the other day and a tumble weed started rolling across my pubes.


I will say that Vietnamese women are more traditional than anywhere I've lived in Asia (China, Hong Kong, and Taipei). However, that's not to say it's not a great place to be to meet women, and there are several fires in the oven - which Big Body is stoking and tending to very attentively. Also, shout out to the Vietnamese girl who I went on a date with last night, but wasn't really into, who threw a Hail Mary this morning and sent me a naked video. Sometimes in life, you need to ride donkeys to find that horse. Will follow up this post soon with one about the various girls I've been out with and some reflections.

Work has also been quite hectic, but I really am enjoying what I've been doing for the last 8-9 months now, and have learned a lot - especially working for myself and in blockchain. More reflections to come on that, as an ICO I was advising on hit some interesting bumps, and there's some good lessons to be learned.

That's all for now, but there's a lot coming and it feels good to be back.



One love and hope everyone is grand,

Big Body Boris

Last edited by BorisTheHead; 08-19-2018 at 09:55 AM.
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Old 08-20-2018, 08:05 AM   #286
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

BGP did make a good point about my post - that it seems to be implying I won't be sleeping with this girl who sent me a naked video. I should have conveyed that better. We will definitely be making the beast with two backs.

-Big Body Rising
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Old 08-20-2018, 10:15 AM   #287
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by BorisTheHead View Post
this girl who sent me a naked video
Spoiler:


I have never had a girl who sent me a naked video. #runningbadforlife
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Old 08-22-2018, 12:52 PM   #288
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Never underestimate the power of a bad first date. Girls will do crazy **** to not be rejected.

Loled hard at the cockfighting puns. Boris did it still without losing his class
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Old 08-22-2018, 05:39 PM   #289
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

I’m I the only one who wants to see some picture of that irl saw doll riding a tricycle?
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Old 08-24-2018, 06:41 AM   #290
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Gonzo: I gotta say, naked vids aren't as great one might think with the amount of porn on the Internet. And, sometimes you gotta send a pic of the ole' laphog to get something in return, which isn't the most dignified. No grown man can look his mother in the eye on Skype after having just shaved his pubes and done that weird hand grip at the base of the cock to make your dick look bigger, followed by taking 12 varying pics from different angles.

G2a: Still waiting on you to come visit us in Nam.

LB: That woman riding a tricycle in some rundown dirty bathroom dungeon is the stuff that nightmares are made of. No one wants to see that.

Finally corrected my sleep schedule, or so I hope. Being in the midst of the wet-season in Nam, it's hard not to go back to bed in the morning. However, sometimes one must remind himself that the Hemingways and Bowles of the world did some of their best work next to a rain-streaked window overlooking the uncouth streets trod by real people, soaking in the banalities of a normal life, with the company of just a black coffee.

There's a bit of the calm before the storm at the moment, as I'm gearing up for a relatively hectic 1-2 weeks.

For starters, I had a really nice date last week with a Filipina girl living up in Nha Trang. She was passing through Saigon after a visa run to Cambodia, and ended up spending the night before her early morning bus ride back. Things escalated, but there was no consummation, which I think was actually for the best.

It was nice to actually have a date where there was some level of mutual intelligibility, as her English was great, and I didn't have to speak like a caveman and use a lot of hand gestures to communicate. "You like food?" "Mmm...Big Body like food too." "Funny movie good." However, it seems with Filipinas, they can be doing really well and hitting the mark with convo for a bit, but ultimately slip up with some absurd statement - such as when she told me how she loves Duterte because he does what he has to in order to get rid of the druggies and dealers (aka kill them in cold blood) and that he is her hero.

She's coming back down for a few days on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I imagine things will be heating up a bit then. 'The New Hampshire White Moccasin' does need to feed, and he's been more like a spitting cobra these past few days, gearing up for his fall feeding frenzy.

And, a week from today, I'm flying a Thai girl in. This is pretty random, but I figured spontaneity is needed. Only thing I'm really worried about is the 5% chance there could be a penis, but I think I've done a pretty sneaky job when texting and FaceTiming to probe about the existence of any penis. Yeah that's right, I FaceTimed her. Not my proudest moment, but like Duran Duran, Big Body Boris is hungry like the wolf.

This is eerily similar to the time when I was 11 and had an in-game girlfriend on EverQuest. I used to type lyrics from Maroon 5 into the chat box to her, telling her I wrote them about her. This was all good and fun until the day she realized 'This Love' by Maroon 5 was all over the radio, and I did not in fact write "I'll fix these broken things, repair your broken wings, and make sure everything's alright." I also called her on the phone once, which resulted in 20 minutes of silence and one unreciprocated "I love you" at the end. Bet you can't guess who cried that night.

Anyways, I gotta say that I'm really excited for the Thai girl to come to town, and am just going into it with an open mind.

Also, I don't even know if it's worth the energy to write about the dates I've been on where English was minimal, as most of you reading this (or who have lived in Asia) likely have some idea (or have experienced) such dates, and there's not really a whole lot to say.

Things have been very hectic with work, which is a good thing (still a post to come on some observations from advising on an ICO). BGP and I are hitting the gym tonight and hopefully some beers, which is much needed.

Hope everyone has a good Friday and is grand,

-Big Body
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Old 08-29-2018, 09:24 AM   #291
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Chapter 2: Big Body Avoids Late Night Temptation

Figured I'd share a classic Asia encounter with everyone that anyone with "WeChat" or any of these apps that let you "look around" will know all too well.

Pictures are worth 1000 words.

I was finishing up some work and drinking Coronas at my kitchen table at 5-5:30am, when I received a contact request on WeChat. Here we go.



I accepted and told her she looked edgy. Something seemed a little off.



Not sure how many people have ever just done some crank and "chilled after." Hey, to each his own.

We bonded over her being half-Taiwanese and me having just moved from Taiwan. Sparks were flying. But, sometimes you just gotta come right out with it and ask what is on your mind (and what everyone else is thinking).



A few things on the matter.

First, in my 27 years on this planet, no single girl with tattoos or female who could be described as "edgy" has ever approached or messaged me. So, an important lesson is to know your demographic. Why would some girl with tats and BFTs (big fake titties) start pursuing me now?

"Those who make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities." And, a 5:30am atrocity this could have been.

Second, good looking women just don't need to rely on hard drugs like ladyboys do, so when mention of crank and other hard drugs starts getting thrown around, there's roughly a 2500% chance it's a ladyboy. Someone run the numbers for me on that. Think about it, good looking women have been handed a lot of things in life, never been marginalized, and live a pretty ****ing good life. Why do they need to be doing crank at 5:30am on a Monday night? They don't - unless you're a mid-50s housewife who just discovered Percocet after you found out your husband started cheating on you with Ling Ling from the strip mall massage parlor.

Ladyboys on the other hand? Why not do some ice? I can't blame em' either. Years of Confucian ideals shoved down your throat, while having to hide wearing your sisters underpants in the closet every night, coupled with regular interrogations about when you'll start a family to carry on the bloodline. That's far from an upbringing in San Fran's 'Castro District' by two quinoa-loving, yoga-doing, Subaru-driving women named Beth and Bobby-Jo.

G2a is probably going to tell me I'm the fool of the matter for not taking this fake-tittied ladyboy to the Boom Boom Room, and maybe I am. Honestly, I don't think it's that I wouldn't chop a hot looking ladyboy, it's that I'm just too damn vanilla. I've spent 27 years perfecting below-average bedroom skills, where I still have to make sure the girl is on my left-side just to not accidentally start rubbing the last dirt-covered frontier and still occasionally fake an injury after cumming too fast. Mix in a penis, and I'd be utterly lost.

I can't even 69 girls because I get so confused looking at a vagina from a new angle. Imagine the embarrassment of having to look Rico in the eye after taking him home from the local gay watering hole 'The Ramrod Fort' just to tell him that I have no idea how to take off his salmon-colored chinos and fishnet top. I'd die on the inside. And to me, the embarrassment just isn't worth the squeeze.

In other news, I had the Filipina stay the night, and I will be following this up with a short breakdown of that. Have to jet now to go celebrate BGP's birthday at an Argentinian steakhouse. Shoutout to BGP.

Be grand,

-Big Body
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Old 08-30-2018, 07:17 AM   #292
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Great description there in the last post!
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Old 08-31-2018, 12:24 AM   #293
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Good call, Boris. Having sex with ladyboys, especially the ones who do hard drugs (which is like 80% of them lol) is an unfulfilling, dangerous and stupid decision. That being said, you are a queer for not bangin. Look at those titties and face! Tattos also seem really well done.

Speaking of bad decisions, today I've banged an alleged 35 year old (could be more) teacher from a school I have attended (she did not give me classes) for the second time. Crazy hippie style.

This was a pleasure to read. Now let's wait for the report on the Filipina.
Steakhouses are amazing. Happy Birthday, BGP!!
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Old 09-01-2018, 12:20 AM   #294
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by BorisTheHead View Post

I can't even 69 girls because I get so confused looking at a vagina from a new angle.
HAHAHAHAHA oh man

Like the great Sheldon Cooper once said
it's funny,
because it's true
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Old 09-04-2018, 02:18 PM   #295
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

VegasVila: Thanks a ton! Glad you liked it haha.

G2A: I will give it to ya that the tattoos do look decent. And, how is that a bad decision taking down a previous teacher? That sounds like a good decision to me.

Torg0th: I used to like you before you quoted Big Bang Theory haha.

Thai girl just left earlier today, and I have no bodily fluids left to give. I guess I should start on my latest saga.

Chapter 3: Big Body, Big Body, What Have You Done?

As I previously mentioned, the Filipina girl came into town for our second date, as she was flying through Saigon again.

Honestly, it was completely underwhelming. The first date went great, and I actually had a pretty good time, so I was looking forward to seeing her again. However, her reasons for passing through Saigon this time were a bit vague and she never fully revealed exactly why she had to fly to Kuala Lampur for "an emergency" prior to coming.

She got in late, and I was running on pretty little sleep, so naturally decided to start drinking in order to prepare for the night ahead. She did bring me a pair of toenail clippers with the KL skyline on them, so that was actually pretty nice.

Side note: I've definitely destroyed many girls legs while having sex due to forgetting to clip my toenails, so this is actually an extremely useful present.

The night was pretty uneventful, and we ended up in bed early, just cuddling. However, my stomach was in shambles, and she was the type of girl who felt the need to always be touching you from every angle - even when I made a point to face my ass to her in order to actually try and sleep. Still, she held on and grabbed me. The night was just painful for me, and I spent most of it facing away from her, her arm draped over mine, while I did everything in my power not to blow a hole through her stomach with whatever gaseous waste was in me.

There's a good chance that if I did let one rip, she could be looking like a Filipina-Hills Have Eyes version of some Halloween donut costume.




I ****ing hate sleeping with other people in bed. I hate people breathing on me, I hate their body heat, I hate how you feel this obligation towards one another to always be having some form of physical contact (at least with first dates and early stages of dating). I sweat a lot and I'm always moving around. Big Body needs his space.

Well, as history repeats itself, we woke up, and things escalated. Have any of you ever been with a girl with nips so thinly attached to their body? Like a piece of taffy just sewn into the boob by a single piece of thread. I was terrified to even try and suck on them. Not to mention, they were long.

Immediately, I checked out and I checked out hard. I started trying to divert things and spent the next 10 minutes of foreplay discussing how I wanted to go eat American BBQ for lunch, the differences between Carolina and Texas BBQ, and how I once paid $60 for all you can eat and drink at a Ribs festival. This isn't hyperbole either. We had chatted about American BBQ the night before, and she knew I hadn't really eaten dinner, so it was still fresh on my mind. I had to take myself to my happy place.





I wish I could say condoms were worn and it lasted more than 30 seconds, but I'd be lying. I figured everything was kosher, however I immediately got that feeling I know all too well, where the tip is quite irritated and something feels off. Usually the early irritation has proved pretty accurate in letting me know I should look out for it and something might be wrong - like the Paul Revere of penises, shouting "The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are coming!" Except, instead of the British, it's chlamydia or some other Indochina specific VD.

We spent the rest of the day just lounging around until she had to leave, and then I met BGP for his birthday at an Argentinian steakhouse.

I wasn't feeling the best, but within minutes of seeing BGP, knowing a fat ribeye was coming my way, and seeing they had one of my favorite beers, I succumbed to the night and was at its mercy. Dinner was in excess - as it should be on a birthday - and was likely the best meal I've had in Asia in a long time. Top it off with numerous (complimentary) apple pie vodka shots, and BGP and I had an unspoken gentleman's agreement that it would be sacrilegious to end the night so early.

Cue 9am, and I'm looking over at a naked Vietnamese courtesan next to me, sprawled out on BGP's guestroom Dior sheets. Memories of whiskey, Apocalypse Now, and some ruckus love making all start coming back to me. I'm effectively paralyzed until 9pm that night, and sleep it off in his guest bedroom the best I can. It definitely was not my most financially prudent decision. There isn't too much to write about it, as my memory is pretty hazy and I'd just rather not relive it.

Haggard, having not eaten in two days, and caught somewhere in the dreck between the whores and Betty-Forders, I woke and spent my Friday preparing for a Thai girl who was coming to visit me, unsure of the mental, physical, and penile repercussions to follow. And that's where we leave off for now.

-Big Body

Last edited by BorisTheHead; 09-04-2018 at 02:28 PM.
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Old 09-05-2018, 09:03 AM   #296
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

When it rains, it pours. Big Body is having to beat people off with a 10 foot pole.

Penis is finally clearing up, but he's exhausted. Looked up at me today when I was taking a piss and just had the saddest look on his face - like a whimpering dog wondering how he got a newspaper to the muzzle.

I met this one girl from Hanoi when I went to go play some poker in Thao Dien at the poker club there (she was one of the waitresses), and we hit it off pretty well. Got her number and we went out the other week for sushi, shisha, and balloons. Surprisingly, for having piss poor English, things went really well and I had a good time.

I usually hate posting pictures of people (other than prostitutes), but I figure this pic from our first date is dark enough.



While the date isn't really noteworthy for anything, just thought I would lay a little background, as she sent me some nice texts with a wholesome idea for our second date.



Look at how well I held my ground for the first minute. But, then I started to reconsider.



And, before you go saying, "Big Body, careful of doing cocaine, ketamine, or other drugs in Vietnam," you're right. I really don't have any intention of doing drugs with this girl, especially not drugs sold by Vietnamese Petyr from "What We Do in the Shadows" on Bui Vien.



Sometimes, you just have to make a few false concessions, knowing full well they can later be overcome by a little charm and flair.

Trip recap of the Thai girl forthcoming. Hope everyone is having a great Weds.

-Baby Batter Boris
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Old 09-06-2018, 01:23 AM   #297
Going2Asia
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Wow, what an eventful week. Good to see you're having a god time, BBB.

Oh god, sleeping together is absolutelly terrible
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Old 09-24-2018, 02:24 PM   #298
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

On the tail end of my penis bean tri-cocktail after those three women due to the pain and discharge, lots to update. Just got back from Singapore for Consensus, Bangkok coming up in 10 days, and some other reflections.

Just wanted to say, still alive. The Azithromycin hasn't killed me yet. Updates soon to come.

Big Body Rising
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Old 09-25-2018, 05:53 AM   #299
BorisTheHead
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

Chapter 4: Big Body Carries the Cross

September was (and is) a hell of a month.

First, before I get started with anything. Highly recommend everyone go check out G2A's (Going2Asia) thread he just started in travel. Guarantee you won't regret it.

I'm 28 today. Sitting at my favorite cafe, eating an English breakfast (at 4pm), staring down a couple Chinese tourists taking pictures of presumably the first latte with a leaf drawn in the foam they've ever seen. Couldn't be happier at the moment. I guess I should start sequentially, as that makes the most sense.

As mentioned previously, I flew a Thai girl in who I had met on a dating app in the first week of September. Things just seemed to click, and I figured what the hell. Looks-wise, she's definitely my type too, at least as smaller girls go. Classy, great smile, and as Megan Trainor (the fat white American singer) says, "all the right curves in all the right places." I didn't expect things to go so well either, and was kicking myself a bit for my unsheathed adventures the few days before.

Sometimes you just wish you had held out for the filet mignon, but in the moment, bologna and meatloaf sound delicious. Like a crocodile, sometimes it's all the same once it's down the gullet - unable to differentiate between the finest white-tailed deer and a dirty capybara due to the sheer, overpowering hunger within. So, I went into the trip with a tickle in my penis and that Big Body post-coitus guilt that I know all too well.

I picked her up from the airport and it was a bit of an awkward first meeting, as I was drenched in sweat, possibly poisoned by hooker bar whiskey, and a bit dizzy, while she was shier than expected and refused to speak much English. Things warmed up quick though, and we went to one of my favorite spots to drink (East West Brewery) and later went to a shisha/balloon bar.

Everything was going swimmingly until she inhaled on a balloon while sitting next to me, and blacked out for a little longer than one would think is normal. I can barely pay my bills and charge my phone credit in this country, so there's likely little chance I'm going to be able to call the 911 equivalent if a small Thai girl goes brain-dead next to me. Luckily, she recovered, and we took it easy the rest of the night.

The morning brought about the start of a sexual marathon, which lasted the rest of the trip. I started having to fake cumming at certain points just because my penis was so sore and in such pain. Otherwise, I loved every second. I kind of had to sit myself down and say, "Look, there's worse things in this world than a girl who wants to milk you dry every second of the day."

We had a pretty wholesome trip too, and she was interested in exploring the city and seeing a few museums. We checked out the War Remnants Museum (recommend everyone check it out), which was powerful, very sad, and also informative.

I figure it was only a proper salute to those who had contracted some sort of VD while in Indochina back in the 60s that I went fighting my own war - a penis war.

There was one pretty cringeworthy moment where the Thai girl clearly didn't understand the gravity of the situation, and after posing next to the various helicopters, tanks, and armored vehicles, started snapping Instagram pics of her manning one of the turrets (oblivious doing could be construed in any other way than Instagram-worthy). It's just so absurd and ludicrous, that I literally couldn't believe it.

All jokes aside, the museum really makes you step back and reflect on issues and events you otherwise wouldn't, which I think is important for all of us to do now and again. One thing that gave me a lot of faith in humanity was seeing so many Vietnamese families there with their children, fathers holding their son or daughter's hands while explaining just how important this time period and history was for Vietnam. I won't get into things much further, but I teared up a little there, and would recommend anyone stopping in Saigon to head over to check it out.

Although the trip with the Thai girl wasn't the most intellectually stimulating conversation-wise, it was nice to turn off the brain for a bit and just enjoy a simpler approach to things. I'm going to visit her in Bangkok next week (Oct 4th - 9th), so I'm quite looking forward to that and think it will be a well-deserved break after the hustle and bustle of Singapore.

While this isn't the most exciting update, I just figured it was good to get some things out there. Computer is about to die, but will pen my thoughts on Singapore and Consensus in the next day or two.

-Boris
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Old 09-25-2018, 07:17 AM   #300
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Re: Boris's Life in The Orient

HBD dude!
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