They have the yellow watermelons here as well. First seen them at the sizzler all you can buffets and was like WTF is that. Red for me all day.

Put me on team toilet paper. I just cant get down with the bum gun. Just isnt right.

Pooping definitely is a great life lesson in general. It teaches you that the best 10-15 minutes of your day (maybe more depending on the day) is not without a cost, followed by the worst part of my day: wiping.

I'm also the type of guy who takes way too long on the toilet and his legs fall asleep, and next thing you know after standing up, I'm crashing into walls and ripping towel racks off the wall trying to keep my balance.

YF: I'm kind of terrified to use one of those bidets. They seem great in theory, but I'm worried if I do, then I'll just have spread poopy water all over my clothes and the rest of my ass, and then I'm put in a real Sophie's Choice. Maybe we can get a resident bidet expert in the thread to clear up any worries we might have.

bidet's/bum guns are the ****ing nuts. im a hairy dude that deals with dingleberry issues from time to time if I don't shave in and around my butthole. when I use a bidet regularly I don't even notice, its just nice and clean all day.

yes plz for PM, so curious. guess its not one of the colombian famous mainstream stars but still, just cool. ive never banged a pornstar and couldn't imagine paying any more than like 3-4x markup to do so, but always intriguing. Maria ozawa was in bkk a few weeks ago, but meh. I'm sure she was charging like 5k+

So they don't have TP but at least have bidets... here in the Philippines 30% of the time it's neither, only that stupid faucet and a big cup. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

G2A: get your hand wet and wipe the **** off with your hand.

I take wet wipes when I'm out and about.


Literally everyone who's tried a bidet in some OOT thread raves about them to no end.

How attached to your socks are you G2a?

At a rave outside the Great Wall back in the day, I **** in a squatter and there was no toilet paper and I just went with the sock, threw it in the toilet, and clogged the toilet, to which it began to bubble up and come up. Weird night, especially since I watched my buddy pump out a girl on the great wall, while decked head to toe in American flag gear, even down to the shoes.

bidets confirmed great. Taiwan seems to have some high tech ones as well, should definitely give them a try. They even dry you off afterwards, I recommend a high powered oscillating stream.

Taking a dump has been solved with the bidets/bum guns. How is this even a discussion anymore?

I've only heard rave reviews, so maybe it's time I quit being a pony boy and saddle up.

TP for life

You always follow up with tp but decent water pressure does 98% of the work for you. The tp is mainly just like your towel when you get out of the shower.

The whole bucket on the side of the toilet always freaks me out though.

i know the process. i like tp only. dont like shooting water up my azz. im stuck in my ways.

5 South: Is there ever any worry about the toilet paper getting soggy and wet and crumbling after giving it a comb over?

I feel like I might need to ease myself into it, like first start one night when I'm at a hotel, in a safety zone. No lie, if I could have any superpower, #1 would be to never have to wipe my ass.

Any crumbly tp that gets left behind in the 1st pass (never been an issue for me) gets cleaned up on the 2nd pass with a fresh tp handful.

Another bum gun plus is when you have the runs. Toilet paper takes its toll after you've been running to the bathroom all day.

5 south, following up with tp is so 2015. Modern day bidets in Japan, and often Taiwan, will blow dry your butt clean.

Really the most dangerous thing about bidets is you won't want to get off the toilet again.

Totally right but Thailand has done a good, cheap copy with the bum gun.

Japan also had deodorant options on their toilets. Is Taiwan the same?

Lol I haven't seen that in Japan or Taiwan yet. Looks like you're step ahead, thanks for giving me something to look forward to.

try baby wipes

Went to taiwanese embassy and tried to apply for visa, the grumpy lady said I need a bank statement in english ugh.

In my 'contact in taiwan' I put : Boris Buttberg, seriously heheheh

PE: Baby wipes are the absolute cat's pajamas. Only issue is trying to carry them around. I used to be embarrassed that I would use baby wipes sometimes because I didn't think anyone else did, but now I scream it loud and proud, like I'm in a Ricola commercial.

G2a, posted in your thread, but once again, if you need my contact details for application, PM me.

Been raining a ton here lately, not much to report on. Had to break it to the 43 year old that her downstairs smelled like a fish market. Think it went alright, but there's no easy way to do that, as I've written about. She took it relatively well, and her only argument was, "Well you couldn't get very hard." To which I responded, "Yeah because it smelt like death down there." When people are put in a situation like that, they always try to combat with one thing to keep some sort of dignity, which I understand.

Here's to all the good smelling vaginas out there.

-B

i cant imagine how you even have that conversation. I think tge subtlest possible thing would be to insist they take a shower as soon as you get their underwear off and get a whiff.

I know I have been MIA as of late, but this Bar exam is really weighing on me mentally and just trucking on with that until end of July. August promises more living and updates.

Tonight, after work, went to Hooters with the coworkers for a tame night, ended up at an izakaya and then...sometimes a man doesn't want to 69 a 49 year old masseuse, but gun to your head, you just do.

Had the gun to my head tonight boys. Was proud though because I recently had to hit a Taiwan hospital for Gentamicin shot for that UTI that never went away, but tonight Big Body stuck to a bajowski and only a bajowski. Did that thing where we swirl our penis around the lips of the vagina for like 4 seconds, reflected, and just went for the mouth.

As Blink 182 said, "I guess this is growing up..."

-Big Bajowski Boris

Been very MIA. Really just burned out with work and studying, also was quite ill after 69'ing that masseuse and had a bad throat infection, so I just got that treated and cleared up.

I showed around a buddy's girlfriend who was visiting Taiwan the other day and she took pics to show her family back home, and I realized I've just put on way too much weight since I've been here. Literally, probably 20-25 pounds. I've never been a small guy, but even for me this is bad. I'd guess I'm about 245 (maybe even more) right now, and 5'11, and usually weigh around 210-215. Ideally, I'd like to get under that to 205-210. Kinda one of those things where you realize you are killing yourself slowly.

I'm home (New Hampshire) starting July 19th, to August 13th. I am pretty ****ing lazy a lot of times, so I think it might be a good chance for someone to make some money off that possibly. I'd be willing to escrow $1k-1.5k USD, to lose 30-40 pounds, not sure of timeframe and not sure of odds. But I'm open and would start August 1st. This obviously isn't the most thought out currently, but just seeing if anyone would be interested. Can flesh out details, etc... Worst case scenario, I fail, but am healthier and back on track to where I used to be.

Updates forthcoming, but for the next two weeks, things are going to be boring and a grind. Degening to come.

-Big Body

I'll take your money Boris, i'm a respectable (not rly ) member of the husng community. No worries, we will get you ripped in the glorious house of gainz when I come to Taipei at the end of the year, and in return you can reteach me how to punish my liver. I've been a married old man for too long.

Torg: Look forward to you coming out, and will make sure I'm on even keel to properly have a good time. Booze doesn't discriminate against married status.

What's bringing you out to Taipei?

Cheers,

-BBB