Spent Friday morning pushing irrigation pipes and digging trenches. Not exactly a rest day. Yesterday I told myself I was gonna lift but then I picked up a truck load of scrap metal. Didn’t really feel like doing anything strenuous.

Golf today with my sister. I probably won’t do any real exercise other than golf warmup.

Weighed in yesterday afternoon before a shower at 203.2 lbs.

I used to have a ton of hang ups regarding the discussion of mental health. then the best thing i ever did was open up to others about my struggles. i just did a week in a very secure mental hospital. room checks every 1/2 hour and a snoring roommate kept me from getting a good nights sleep the entire time. got home yesterday and it feels good not to be so angry now. imagine november rain and long december had an illegitimate love child at full volume while trying to focus on the intricacies of welcome to the jungle and a sick and twisted version of the most heinous scooby doo episode imaginable. that was my state of mind last wednesday when i woke up.

called my dr and opened communication regarding my anger. it wasn't easy. got admitted and committed myself to the process. maybe the thought police won, or maybe I won, or maybe its a mutually beneficial situation for everyone. any way you cut it theres undeniable massive improvement in my quality of life in the past week.

"we can't change the world unless we change ourselves" - notorious big

Figure now is a good time to gain strength. Light workout with short breaks between exercises.

5 bodyweight squats hands comfortably in front of me.

10 to 13 second back bridge ok form.

5 Saturday night fever squats.

10 straight leg sit ups.

10 Saturday night fever squats.

Not Much exercise in the past few weeks. Unless you count shoveling.

5 bodyweight squats

5 Saturday night fever squats

55 lbs front squat x 5.

75 lbs front squats x 5 plus 5 overhead press no rest.

85 lbs front squats 3x5.

Pushups 5/10/10.

5 bodyweight squats hands in front.

5 Saturday night fever squats

2 back bridges 10 seconds each.

5 Saturday night fever squats

5 pushups

10 straight leg sit ups

Pushups 10/10.

Weighed in before a shower at 197.6 lbs.

10 alternating lunges.

10 bodyweight squats

Pushups 5/20/10

10 straight leg sit ups

I always get nostalgic this time of year.

Beat: heres to lost loved ones, here's to lost loves, heres to lost lovers and pray for our mothers.

Brag: fought the sloth all year, oh other deadly sins are a work in progress.

Variance: 27 lbs lighter.

Also I always liked playing lots of intros on various instruments, which naturally leads me to learning more songs. I also enjoy songs that end in the note of the following song, as I do here with a few songs. Also the transition from long December to auld Lang syne is intentional.

https://youtu.be/-TwnK6OUg5s

10 bodyweight squats.

15 straight leg sit ups

10 Saturday night fever squats

15 straight leg sit ups

10 Saturday night fever squats

Pushups 5/10/10/10

Got in some time at the driving range. My main problem is judging where the bottom of my swing should be. I'm aware that the bottom of the swing should be in front of the ball, but the focus is on a single dimple on the top of the ball. I only hit 2 irons 3 irons and 3 woods today. I know I hit much better shots with the long irons when I keep my chest high through the swing, but just slight variation in hip or knee or back bend can change the swing depth. Blah blah. That 2 iron feels awesome when I hit the sweet spot though.

Had a chance to use a real squat rack and I couldn't resist. Decent warm ups led to some ok Work sets :

Low bar squats 135x3x5

Hang clean 105 x 4

Deadlift 205x5.

Felt good.

Feel good today although I did sleep 2pm to 5 pm. Got up and went to the driving range.

Just ate 2 double cheese burgers and almost all of a small fry. Earlier I fried 2 hot dogs in butter and chopped them up before mixing in 3 scrambled eggs. Added a hot pepper. Then a bowl of cereal and a bowl of mac n cheese. Lol.

I should definitely remember to attempt some chin ups next work out so arms keep pace with my legs and back.

some off topic bs:

I first learned of what a thought palace is by reading Hannibal, at which time I decided that I liked the idea. This is my muse for my thought palace, it's Van Gogh's depiction of the hospital where he stayed in France. Back then they didnt really have good treatment for mental illness. I mean without mood stabilizers like we have today, how do you realistically keep Vincent from eating his paints? but I digress:



comes equipped with jacuzzi, poker study, basement files(hello bad beats never to be seen again), and golf course out back that I play when I'm trying to fall asleep.

some of you might know what I'm talking about. if not, here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Method_of_loci

ive seen the idea used also in stephen king's Dreamcatcher, where some characters hid in their thought palaces to escape the mind control of the aliens.

on a more realistic level, i find having a safe place to go in my mind that provides familiarity in times of uncertainty, peace in times of war, comfort in times of pain(hello jacuzzi). etc etc.

i recommend this method of thought particularly for the visually minded individual. however sight is but one sense. feel the grass under your bare feet. smell the flowers or the steak cooking on the grill. hear the birds singing.

/mumbo jumbo.

this isn't a necessity for me to maintain mental health(whatever the **** that means idk anymore) but I don't think it hurts to effectively compartmentalize thoughts.

that 2 iron tho wheeee.

Enjoyed your playing :Thumb:

Thanks. I played some piano the other day for the first time since summer. Was quite bad lol.

Also have some guitar stuff on YouTube. Nothing spectacular. I dont have a good ear although I know tons of songs.

Heres me on an out of tune 12 string that I found in a garage when I was house sitting:

https://youtu.be/q2jaJVuX968

Also found a decent 6 string that week:

https://youtu.be/WZZFvt6vdq4

Hoping to lift at that guys house today.

Made the 5 minute walk to my friends house and we lifted some weights.

He was doing assorted bench so I benched:

115 lb × 5
135 lbs x 5
150 x 4
115 x 10

Then he did incline bench. In between his sets I pulled the bench out of the way:

Hang clean 115 lb x 4. Plus 3 front squats
Hang clean 115 x 1 plus 3 front squats
Front squats 115 x 5.

Then he did pushups and I deadlifted after failing a chin up:

225 x 3.

The walk home in the light snow was refreshing.

Didnt sleep well at all. Little stiff from yesterday's work out. 35 degrees outside. You know what that means by now. Driving range followed by grilled cheeseburger with potato salad and a couple hot peppers. Hit em ok at the range.

Rest day today. No real exercise.

I was late to my friends garage but I fit in some stuff between his sets.

Dynamic warm up.

10 bodyweight squats

Romanian Deadlift 115x5

10 Saturday night fever squats

Romanian Deadlift 135x5

5 squats with 35 lb plate extended overhead

Over head press 105 x 4/3/2

Deadlift 235x5

Little pain yesterday and today in what I think is my right rhomboid. The one that assists the trap on the vertical edge of the scapula. It has been an issue in the past. My theory is that pinched nerve in neck as a teen led to many muscular imbalances. This caused weak points to become exposed in my 20s. I was always dealing with a bunch of pulled muscles. Now my main concerns are keeping left knee stable, left hip mobile, and low back strong. Basically if I can do that I'm off to the races.

I went to the driving range yesterday. Hit em pretty well. I'm in an experimental phase. First I hit a long iron. I try to hit it straight. Some days it goes straight. Some days left some days right. I do that until I get some consistency of flight. Then I hit a mid iron. Start trying to hit cuts and draws on command. Then I hit either a different long iron or the 3 wood. This stage of practice I try to create different tee shots and usually by this point ive covered all the fundamentals and my only swing thought is solid contact.

Unfortunately yesterday a guy was yapping right next to me. Funny how quiet it was after he shut up, at which time I was taking a break on a bench. Sure, he gets peace and quiet when hitting but everyone else nearby had to listen to him for a good 15 minutes talk about how far the ball was flying because it was 40 degrees out instead of 35.

That 2 iron tho wheee.

10 bodyweight squats neutral hands.

power snatch plus 5 overhead squats 55 x 2 x 5.

Snatch was light. Squats were hard but I think I made it to parallel on a few. Key for me was keeping my chest up. I dont have very good shoulder mobility. I cant really get my arms behind me enough. I could probably have done better with a wider grip.

I think I'm gonna **** around with some weighted lunges , back bridges, and pushups.

Not working out with friend today. So I figure its time to mix it up.

Weighted lunges bar in racked position. 55x3x10(alternating 5 each leg)

Pushups 5/10/10/10/10.

Solid 4 mins rest before last set of pushups made last set pretty easy.

First time trying these lunges. Little form breakdown at end of last set.

Left deltoid is pretty sore today. Probably due to the bucket of balls I hit last night at the driving range in addition to the overhead squats and pushups, which likely caused some fatigue.

No exercise today. Actually theres some serious family health stuff going on that I must attend to today.

Had some fun with my camera. Mods do your thing if needed. Imo a little bum never hurt anyone. I got serious stuff happening and this is just escape. Enjoy the view.

https://imgur.com/a/1JK9g74

I'm currently quite sad and I'm coming to grips with a harsh truth. My mother is very sick and she is unlikely to recover. We visited her in Boston yesterday for what was probably the last time I will ever see her take a breath. This was not sudden. This has been going on since May. I forced myself to go yesterday. I didnt want to see her suffering, but I knew that if I didnt go then I would end up hating myself. I had some time alone with her. Instead of trying to wake her up I let her sleep. I kneeled beside her and prayed for a few minutes. Then I said goodbye.

The next few weeks are likely to be a very emotional time here. I'm fluctuating between having the desire to do stuff and exercise in an attempt to get the anger out, and having the desire to do absolutely nothing. So I might lift today or I might not. Idk yet.

That's terrible, Bob; I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm glad you were able to say goodbye.