Hi Busto Bro

Interesting, well glad to hear it worked out for you. All so weird isn't it, brain chemistry and taking medicines that can totally change one's outlook and reality.


Alobar,

What happened to your back? Did you boulder any then or just sport?

5/12

HIIT, bike 20/80sec, 30 min

EZ barl curls 4x ss DB T. EXT

Machine curls 3x ss Vbar Cable pushdowns 3x

Thanks man!

5/13

Inc BN,

8x135@5, 8x145@6, 5x8x155@7/7/8/9

Front shoulder raises 4x ss Lateral shoulder raises 4x

Cables Flys ss Machine pulls back ss face pulls 4x

5/14

BN 1ct P,

6x185@6, 6x190@7/8, 6x195@8/9, 2x225@9, 3x6x175@ 7,8,8

SQ w/belt
6x275@6, 6x285@7/8, 6x295@8/9, 3x6x265@6,7,7.

Pend rows
3x11x150@6,7,8 3x11x140@7,7,9

5/15

7min Med-Wide Grip PU, 55

Seated leaned back curls 4x ss Overhead T. EXT

Tri kickbacks 5x ss Hammer curls 5x

Skipped cardio to climb with m'lady.

I'm not sure if I really need the cardio days or both as I'm getting some of that energy system working on climbing days.

What kind of value do you get out of the guided programming beyond the templates?

Does the powerbuilding group have a 4-day option or 3-day only? I'm surprised that the template doesn't have more accessory work.

Jeff,

It's just 3 days + 2 days GPP so far after 2 blocks. Did you noticed the accessories on GPP days? But yeah it's light on them. I think the competition group does 4 days. There's also an early intermediate group, not sure what they do.

Their private facebook group is pretty useful for form review, answering questions, and making adjustments to the program. Feel like I've picked up some technique stuff from watching other's videos and the coaches critiques.

Mostly I wanted to do this so I could get a better understanding of how to program from people who seem to really know, specifically with regards to volume, progressions, and auxiliary lifts. Their spreadsheet they send is pretty nice with features and graphs etc.

I won't do it forever, maybe 4-6mo total. It's not cheap but I think the info I gain will be worth it.

One thing I'm sorta concerned about it the tricep work on GPP days being sandwiched between benching/OHP/aux. bench days. Seems like not enough rest there.


5/17

OHP
6x115@6, 6x120@7, 6x125@8/9, 3x145@10 1x155@9.5 (barely missed 2nd rep there), 3x6x115@6,7,7.

HB SQ,
8x225@6, 8x235@7, 8x245@8, 3x8x225@7,7,7

Pend Rows,

3x5x195@8, 5x205x9, 2x5x185@8

DB INC Press,

4x8x60s@7/8

Felt pretty good during this workout.

Swallowing still sucks, seeing GI/ENT again tomorrow. Had some labs today. ****'s annoying, hopefully figure this out sooner than later.
Anxiety been low/manageable, that's good.

5/18

Tennis 2hrs

5/19

Inc BN,

8x145@6, 8x155@7, 3x8x160@7,8,8, 8x155@8

Leg press

11x440@6, 5x11x490@7,7,8,8,8

7m Med/Wide PU, 55 reps

EX bar Curls 4x5/3/1s ss T. EXT DB overhead 4x

Shoulder plate raises 4x ss Lateral shoulder raises 4x

Good workout, first time I've felt stronger than anytime in the past 2mo.

5/20
Climbed

5/22

BN 1ct P

6x185@7, 6x195@8, 6x195@9, 10,10,8x175@8/9/9

TNG 225x1 @9.

SQ w/belt

6x275@8. Left, felt weak, fatigued and bummed.

Meh decided to come back a few hrs a finish regardless.

6x285@8, 6x295@9, 3x315@9, 335x1@9.

Pend rows,

2x11x145. Quit.

To think back in March at the end of the cut (same weight) I was hitting 3x5x315 @8/9 ish.
Maybe it's just a bad day (don't know why, food and sleep has been fine), and maybe because I've been training lighter weights. But it's pretty disheartening. One of the few things I really care about atm and can take my mind away from the other **** going on, yet I'm worsening.

I just feel such wild swings in gym performance (mostly on the bad side these days). And idk what to do about it.

Had tons of blood work done (though not many hormones other than thyroid) and they came back fine.

------------------------------

Swallowing....

Had a modified barium study (swallow study) done today. Looks at mouth/throat/upper esophagus. I guess the good news is I'm not aspirating anything. What it showed is that the upper esophageal sphincter (around there) is sorta pinching the tail of the food bolus and leaving a little residue there. That is the sensation I felt with the apple the very first time, and on other occasions. It's exactly what happened. The speech pathologist said it wasn't that bad and that she wouldn't have really noted it on a 50/60yr old. Idk if that makes me feel better.

On one hand I feel kinda vindicated and I guess at least glad to have found it. On the other, I'm not sure what's going to be done about it. It seems pretty complicated potentially. It's hard to even dissect the literature on it. I guess best case scenario it's been caused by LPR (reflux) and will improve.

It's been quite a grind to get good help with this. I've really learned it's on me to do my research and push for testing and follow ups etc. One of my primary's def thinks this has been in my head or that I'm getting off on seeing all these specialists or something.

With all this being said actual swallowing of solid foods in real life has been overall better.

haha, yeah not sure how Id feel about being told its fine for a 50/60 year old.

Do you have to worry about it worsening at all?

Well idk. I mean 2mo ago it's the first time I've really ever noticed something like that. I can't help but think they've missed, or have yet to find the cause of this. I don't necessarily think I've gotten better by means of reflux meds. I think it's reasonable to say I've adjusted my swallowing/chewing a bit to better cope, and being less anxious about it, could explain the improvement. But idk if it could improve, stay the same, or get worse.

Still waiting for the GI/ENT to evaluate the imaging. Hope to have that done by Friday. Going to also try to get some 2nd opinions.


--------------------

Had another therapy session today. He said I'm OCD, without the ticks or w/e (which I guess I've known that). He also said I catastrophize and am a perfectionist. Yeah sounds about right. What made me good at poker is bad for everyday life and happiness. Anyway, I've liked these sessions and him.


--------------------------

7min Med/Wide PU, 56reps

5x Rope Reverse T. EXT ss Hammer curls

4x Seated DB curls ss T.EXT

Climbed.

This was after a ton of sets. I think you should expect performance to worsen a bit. You're probably just facing more swings not that you're using adult weights and drift is just going to be slower.


So true, we grow up having so much faith in our institutions but its just (often overworked, under-motivated) humans. I noticed especially in the mental health world, the science is just a lot less certain, and I have so little faith is the first diagnosis after seeing people close to me get put on completely counter-productive cocktails and routines.

that climb looked cool, I love me a pinch route

I stumbled across this random youtube video the other day, thought interesting to hear this kind of perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0Fi32LbXHA&t=1507s

It's the first time in my life I've had to grind the medical system, and it's just not great despite how expensive it is. You're right at the end of the day doctors are just people. The GI I see is out of a big hospital--called a medical mall if that gives you an idea. It's literally like a shopping mall with sick people. They've routinely ran 2-3hrs late, because like you say they're overworked/booked. It's easy to put doctors on a pedestal but it's just impossible for them to know all the potential causes, symptoms, and treatments for an enormously wide and complex range of problems. I've been reading a bunch of the literature out there on the subject of dysphagia (swallowing difficulty) and it's just goddamn endless. And of course no two people are the same.

Had a haircut today, and told the stylist what was going on. She said she had like the exact same symptoms as me. Her DRs also told her it was reflux and she said she got better with PPI meds. But she also thought food allergies were playing a role.


Yeah that's an interesting perspective. It's gotta be a tough job, I certainly couldn't imagine doing it. Thankful they exist though.


--------------------------------------

Press w/belt

2x4x135 @9,9, 3x145@9, 2x155@10, 2x6x115@8,9.

That's not too far off the mark.

HB SQ

8x225@7, 8x235@8, 8x245@8, 4x275@8, 2x295@8, 1x315@9

Struggled a bit with barpath today, still trying to dial in foot angle depth. Think I wasn't bracing hard enough on the earlier sets, the heavier ones which I've never done before with HB went better.

Pend Rows

2x11x155@7,8 11x160@9, 3x11x145@8,8,9

Moved a lot better than the other day.

3x Plate shoulder front raise ss Side shoulder raises.

Overall pretty dece workout.

-----------------------------------


Interesting article on how life stress is a major factor with training. Basically the body pools all stresses together.

https://www.strongerbyscience.com/st...ller-of-gains/

5/26

Inc Press

8x155@7, 8x160@8, 8x165@9, 4x185@10, 3x3x145@7,8,8

Med/Wide PU 9min 62 Reps

4x 5/3/1 Curls ss T. DB EXT overhead

I've been keeping up with the lifting just haven't logged.

Had 3 awful days mental health wise last sunday-tues. Think it was the Zoloft tbh was feeling worse and worse after initially better 2 weeks in. So I quit it. Have been better last few days. Not sure what I'm going to do as far as SSRI etc.

Saw another ENT because of the Cough/throat clearing/wheezing. Said I had thrush on my vocal cords. We think it was due to the PPI eliminating stomach acid. Gave me some meds for that and I've also quit the PPI. He also said he saw no signs of reflux.

Swallowing the same.

General fatigue was massive, doing a little better now. DOMS has been huge in general. Sciatica has been particularly bad too. Ya know, it's weird the sciatica coincides exactly with the swallowing issues. But it's prob just a coincidence, I can't find much literature on a connection. I have no lower back pain really though. It's on the to-do list to get checked out. I'm going to take some time off SQ/DLing because that has really been irritating it lately and also just to lower my overall levels of stress.


Anyways..

6/2

Inc BN

8x165@8, 5,5,5,6x175@8,8,8,9 4x185@9, 12x135@10

Wide/Med PU 7min 55reps

Cable pulls 4x

DB T.EXT 4x ss EZ bar curls

Rope curls 2x ss T pushdowns.

Felt aight.

There's ups and downs, keep focused and it will get better!

I've seen in a bunch of places lately that taking 10-14 days off of lifting completely can be beneficial. May want to consider that if stress is particularly high.

Will do, thanks brotha.

6/5

BN,

5x185, 5x3x215 @8,8,8,9,9, 22x135

Inc DB Press

4x5x70s

Med/Wide PU bw+ 45lbs x 5,5,5,4 ss Reverse cable T.EXT 4x ss Hammer curls.


Climbed. Decently.

-----------------------------------

Saw a speech pathologist today (they specialize in swallowing, speech, etc.).
She said she saw the right side of my tongue was weak. She also saw my uvula, the triangle shaped thing that hangs in the back of the mouth, was angling towards one side. Which was constant with weakness on one side. I remember looking in my mouth like 1.5mo ago or so, and I def remember the uvula being straight at that time. I.e if the uvula has always been a bit crooked it doens't mean anything, if it was straight at one point and then became crooked it can indicate a problem.

Neurologist time. Sigh. It's scary because this kind of stuff fits with stuff like Parkinson's, MS, bell's palsy, etc.

Idk I'm trying to stay positive. I'm lucky to have really supportive parents, gf, and also no job so I can go at this full force. I keep thinking about the person that doesn't have these luxuries going through something similar to me, would be so much tougher.



This,



is pretty brutal. Gonna try to cast as many neuro referrals I can get going and hopefully one pans out earlier. This is what a 5.6k deductible and $400/mo premium healthcare in USA#1 gets you. Almost hit my deductible.


Picture of uvula, prob gross idk unspoil at discretion.

6/7

OHP
5,4x135@9.5, 3x145@9, 1x155@9.5, fx160, 2x6x115@8,9

W Chins NG, 7min, +25lbs, 33 reps.

3x Seated curls ss T kickbacks ss Side lateral raises

Climbed,

This boulder was harder than it looked! Took 8 trys

6/9

Inc BN

8x155@7, 8x165@8, 5,5,7x175@8,8,9, 5x185@9.5, 2x205@10, some PRs in there even though it's something relatively new I'm training still seems solid.

Close grip PU 10,8,8,8,7,7,6,5 1.5min rest.
Little bit of 1APU training, can almost lock off. Think I'll try to go for it, that seems fun.

5x DB T.EXT ss EZ bar curls

First day in a while felt actually strong in gym. No idea why.

Swallowing been fairly terrible. Tough to get in my calories. **** is rough.

Wow. Hang in there. I want to say things about SSRIs and staying on/going off them, but I'm sure you get enough feedback as it is from actual medical professionals.

Rock climbing looks badass. Nice tuck and roll

Do you do anything that's just fun? No stress?

I'm here if there's ever anything I can do or you need to talk.

No I'd love to hear your opinion on that. I'm not sure what to do, either try another or just stop.

Yeah I do, some, could do more, but it's hard for me to get out of my head these days. It also feels like it's pretty much my responsibility to do research/learn then pursue what referrals and tests I should get.

Thanks you man.

Okay!

Basically, you might need to stay on an SSRI to see if it's right for you. It is not an immediate fix. And you are likely to feel WORSE as the medicine reorganizes your chemical imbalance. This is in part why it is so important to have a medical professional, a therapist, and a good support network when you go on an SSRI or any antidepressant.

Some quotes from people much smarter than me.

And one for those struggling with suicide.