Ahh, that gives me a slightly better idea of what you mean by using the term self esteem.

For sure the examples of marriage around someone makes a pretty big difference - both my fiancee and I have parents who have been married decades, but in some ways, we've noticed ways in which they aren't compatible and there were long stretches where I'd say neither marriage was entirely awesome, but maybe that just happens at certain points.

But I think an even bigger overall factor (but made up of many different concepts) is how our society views marriage, relationships, and individual identity. Most people have very little core identity or confidence to begin with and view marriage as a bunch of things that seem completely made up or outmoded to me. For instance, the idea that someone else "completes you" only works in a very specific sense - ultimately most people I talk to seem to in one way or another think it's okay to have someone else complete your core identity.

I almost wrote an ebook on this at one point, but I strongly believe the two people in a relationship first and foremost need to be independent people with their own identities. And then incorporate eachother as much as they way. Most people I know seem to just meld into their partner and their relationship becomes on big blob of dual-identity. Visually I like to think relationships should be two circles (people) joined together, but not completely overlapping. It should be more like a Venn diagram where you can still tell there are two distinct circles, rather than a big amorphous blob circley thing.

Hopefully it's either clear or now can be clear I'm not really bringing this up in a personal way, more just b/c the subject is kind of brought up in general and now I'm hijacking your thread, .

9/7
Lower Intensity
wu+ 1x5x270

Widened out my stance (toes almot touching the side of the cage) and I felt like I lost the weight forward a lot and lost tightness at the bottom. I don't feel like I was having this problem with my volume squats, but when I go heavy it's been hard to keep my form solid. Any thoughts?

ETA: I suspect increased hip mobility is the answer here.



DL
wu+1x5x295
Felt pretty good, remembered the chalk so my grip felt fine. Didn't have to stop for any extended period of time so that's a bonus. Form thoughts obv appreciated.




Pullups
1x5xbw+7.5, 1x5xbw+5, 1x5xbw+2.5
Elbow felt better, will move up 2.5 lbs next week.

Back Extensions
3x12xbw+25 w/ 1 second pause at top

Tough, might move up to a 35 lb plate next week and see how I do.

Flame on.

Squats: People miss on squats many times due to core failure as opposed to legs - this can show itself in losing it/lurching forward. Try and fight and keep chest up/forward.

Great drill for hip mobility, I do every time before squatting for just 1-2 minutes each leg. Huge difference.

Super Squat hip mobility

DL: Shoulders seem almost directly over the bar (like clean setup)....can you raise your hips a touch and move your shoulders in front of the bar more at setup? This will also result in the bar being closer to your shins (good thing). Still fight to keep your chest up and back in a good position. Hopefully you can engage your glutes/hams especially getting it off the ground a bit more and keep a better back position. Stretch your hams post workout, every workout and you should see improvement in short order and feel better on the setup.

Article on hamstring, excuse the Fran reference:

Hamstring article

DLs are nice imo, v solid. If you ever start raping your knees though you could try bending them later in the descent - but you put the bar down slowly enough that it doesn't seem that would be bothering you. Also, to nit, probably it's more ideal to keep your neck in line with your spine. I've been trying to improve this but tbh, if I look straight ahead it certainly *seems* easier to keep my lats engaged and everything tight.

But those are just cool stories...wish I was 5 repping 295, .

Droopy --

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this up. I'll read when I get home from work and comment further, but, again, it is much appreciated.

Hmmm, I think his setup looks v good on most of the reps...not sure why he'd need to mess with it.

At least it looks to me when he starts his pulls (except *maybe* the first rep) the back of his shoulder is lined up with the bar - and the bar doesn't shift forward or back when he starts his pull the best I can tell. He can maybe get his whole back a bit tighter....but again, hard to determine, maybe that's how his back looks in that shirt when really tight, I dno.

Also I'd like to add that I have "hamstrings of shame". I've never been able to sit with my torso at a 90 degree angle to my legs when my legs are straight (not even close). Something I've been neglecting for way too long, and it's no surprise it seems to be affecting both my squatting and DLing ability.

WRT my DL, I have been trying to cue on lifting my chest first during the lift to avoid collapsing my lumbar. I'll try to get my shoulders a bit further over the bar, and my hips a little higher next time, and see how it feels.

Rip on the DL

2nd & 3rd video talk about the setup. Ideally scapula over the bar at the start. In your vid it seems like the bar path may come back a bit towards you after it clears the knee. Which would help me think you could stand to lift your hips a bit, shoulders forward and make sure the bar is solidly against your shins at the start and thru the pull.

M:

I have a different opinion on your DL so I thought I should share it.

Your back looks pretty flat through out but I would keep an eye on your upper back rounding. I think you are craning your neck. You can get the same result by keeping your neck neutral and looking up with eyes only.

The biggest issue and where I seem to disagree with some of the other comments is how it looks to me as though your hips are too high at the start of the lift.

First thing I would tell you is to drop down into a better stance. Bring your hips down and knees more forward (along with your shoulders) and stand up through your heels.

Right now your leverage point is really off at the start of the lift and you appear to have to lean pretty far back. When you do, you can see that the bar is having to float towards you. It should, in a straight line, be just about dragging straight up shins legs and hips.

Additionally, if you watch the video you are able to see just how disadvantaged the start of the lift is by the relative ease that you pull the bar once it's in line and just below your knees. At the start of your lift your hip placement barely changes and you are losing a lot of strength and leverage.

THis, imo, is not from weak hamstrings (which would be a reason for weak off the floor) but from the bad lever point you appear to have at the start.



Squats: In agreement that the issue you have there is related to your back (core). I cranked the volume to check and I can't hear you taking in a huge breath before each rep. If you are nto doing that, you should be taking in a huge breath that fills your belly first. That will help a ton to stabilize your lift. With that breath in, (again huge breath like you are trying to push air into your thighs), you can push against your belt as you perform the lift especially out of the bottom.

With that done, it is just a mater of time to close the gap that exists between the strength of your legs and the strength of your back. Almost everyone fails back first on squat. And I think that you should look at it that way too. At one point I could squat 405 with my legs no problem but at the bottom of the lift, I was staring at my shoes. Took a lot of conscious effort and reps to build up my back strength to be able to squat close to what my legs can squat.

THis will be the case with you I think. ALso, when you widen your stance, even though you are activating more muscle, it will take time to build back up to your previous levels.

Wrote this pretty fast, hope it reads ok.

BPA --

Thanks a lot.

Regarding my DL, I'll try to get my hips lower and see how it feels; I've been playing around with my hip level and I'm not quite sure where the right level is. Guess I need to keep taking videos.

Regarding my squat, it's nice to hear that my problem isn't uncommon. I've been really concentrating on keeping my chest up and tight during my volume sets, and I do try and take big breaths pre-rep but I could probably be more forceful. I see the same thing in my squat, in that the top of the movement is much easier than the bottom. I've never had a really strong core so I guess I have to work on that.

Should I add some reps with an ab roller or something like that, does anyone think?

Also, BPA, I'm assuming the act of getting my knees out further over the bar will necessarily lower my hips an appropriate amount? Or are they likely to be separate adjustments?

Yes, exactly right. Your hips will drop by default when you drop lower to extend your knees over the bar more.

With regard to your question about increasing core strength, just squat more. Seriously. And when you do, really focus on your lower back. Make the squat a back-centric lift.

WRT to the breath in, if you aren't already doing so, it's a huge pronounced double breath in that takes two separate huge gulps to fill your belly first and then top off your chest (it seems over the top until you actually do it and squat like that).

BPA --

Thanks, understood regarding DL.

I've noticed an increase in core strength recently with regard to my volume squats (currently 5x230); I've intentionally been ramping the weight up there very slowly (like 5 pounds/month) and working on form (chest up, upper and lower back tightness, big breath, etc), and I definitely feel more stable under that weight than I did a few weeks ago. I need to refocus myself on keeping my lower back extra tight and just go from there I guess.

I've only been taking one breath; I'll try the two breath method and see if that helps. Thanks again for all of the advice.

9/10
Upper Volume

Bench
wu+ 1x5x267.5, 2x5x265
Didn't feel like compiling all of the plates to pyramid down to 262.5 for my last set, so just did 265 again. Felt pretty good, going up to 270/267.5/265 next time for sure.

Press
wu+ 3x5x147.5

Except my partner realized I loaded too much weight on the first set (which was really grindy), so it was actually

wu+ 1x5x157.5, 2x5x147.5

In retrospect, pretty surprised I got 5 at 157.5, but very pleased. Going to move up to 150 across next week.

Dips
1x5xbw+60, 1x5xbw+55, 1x5xbw+50

Chins
1x5xbw+22.5, 1x5xbw+20, 1x4xbw+17.5

Pretty gassed at the end of the workout, tried to WIM up the last rep but couldn't quite get there. Pretty good day overall though, bench just keeps going up so I'm pretty psyched about that.

9/11
Lower Volume

Squat
wu+5x5x225

Took videos of set 4 (from side) and set 5 (from rear); tried to concentrate on keeping my chest up/back tight, weight on heels, all that stuff.





RDL
3x8x185

Chalked up, helped out a fair bit.

Pendlays
3x5x185

Probably will move up to 190 next time.

Standing DB Curls
3x12x35
Tough, going to go up to 40s next time and cut the reps I think.

Bonus:

Including some form check videos from my workout partner. No matter how many times I tell him to get some decent lifting shoes/shove his knees out, sit back, etc nothing seems to work. Hopefully some constructive criticism from someone else would help:

Id get KC to have a look, he's much better at this than I am. That said, thoughts:

-You're losing back tightness at the bottom. You can see the crease where your scaps are pulled together diminishes. Your chest drops, and your hips rise a bit before the bar does.

-Your knees are caving slightly. Could just be due to the widening of the stance, but you just need to shove them out more and keep them there out of the hole.

Aidan --

Thanks. I see what you mean about the back tightness at the bottom, I guess I need to concentrate more on squeezing the hell out of the bar and my scaps the entirety of the lift.

I'm not sure I have enough mobility to get my knees out much further than that; I need to do a bit more hip mobility I guess. This is only my second time squatting with that width so I've got some work to do I guess.

Its possible that hip mobility is affecting the first part too. In my case it is anyway. I find myself squeezing out that last bit of depth by relaxing, leading to the chest drop. If i was more flexible in the hips then I wouldnt have that happen as much I think. I am finding it very slow progress to improve though!

I really like BPA's posts above.

Aidan --

I hear that. I need to get better at doing hip mobility stuff every day -- I have started doing some PNF hamstring stuff and there's already been a relatively decent improvement. Just one more thing I need to be doing when I'm watching TV at night I guess.

9/13
Upper Intensity

Bench
wu+1x2x292.5 (failed 3rd rep)

Decided to jump up 5 lbs to 292.5 instead of microloading up to 290 since I skipped 290 to max out last week; 2nd rep was a real grind and the third one didn't have a chance. I blame it on the wifeacore for

CG Bench
3x5x235

Standing EZ Bar Curl
3x10x70

Standing DB Hammer
3x12x25

All of this stuff felt good. Have a tight spot in my left forearm/elbow region that will require some flossing; maybe that affected my bench and maybe not, who knows. I'll go for 292.5 next week and hopefully will be able to get it.

This is as much a pelvis thing as a hamstring thing. If you roll your pelvis under just a tad, you can probably do it. I've never been able to touch my toes and I don't gaf.

Possibly, but my hamstrings are really mad tight. I'm hoping the hip mobility work that I've started doing will work synergistically with the hammie stuff and really open up my lower body, because it's all really tight.

9/14
Lower Intensity

Overall this workout sucked; didn't get enough sleep and just overall my jimmies are very rustled, which is unusual for me. After these results, I remain rustled.

Squat
wu+1x3x265

Total AIDS, not even sure why I only did 3, but then I looked at the video and it didn't even look that bad. Regardless, I'm not really confident in the wider stance so I'm going to drop down in weight.

DL
wu+ 1x5x305 (PR)

Kind of meh, think my upper back is rounding a bit too much here. Tried to incorporate BPA's suggestions but I'm not sure any of it took. Still need to get my shoulders over the bar more imo, the bar is coming back towards my body.



Pullups
1x5xbw+12.5, 1x4xbw+10, 1x4xbw+7.5
Aids

Back Extensions w/ 1 sec pause at top
3x10xbw+35

Whatever. Thank God it's the weekend.

Deadlifts look fine. Upper back rounding is not a major concern (yours is very slight). Looks like you might actually be able to go full Konstantinovs/Berkhan and shorten the ROM by a couple of inches.

Thanks man, I appreciate the dap. I want to get my shoulders a bit further over the bar this Friday and see what that feels like, though.

Brief wifeacore update: she went to the cardio doc on Friday, and her heart continues to sound great (the extra sound from the expanded ventricle was gone, or at worst very faint) and her BNP (protein secreted by heart muscle in response to stretching) was down to 24 from 1600 right after she was diagnosed ("normal" is debated a bit, but under 100 is generally the minimum you look for). Really stoked about the great news!

Minicores are doing great, 12 weeks old tomorrow and hitting all the milestones. Nanny starts this Thursday, and wifeacore goes back to work half-time a week from this Thursday, so big changes in the -ecore family coming up.