Obviously there was no actual break up before, that's why you're still stuck in exactly the same place you were a year ago. But you absolutely were claiming that you weren't going to be emotionally attached to him anymore and focus on yourself, the same as you are now.

Remember this?

You could swap that with your post from today and no one then or now would notice the difference, except that today you're saying no sex, which lol, of course you'll be back to justifying having sex with him by this weekend for the same reasons you gave last year.

Goddamit, I can't believe I said the same crap last year.
Okay, I'll just have to cut off the sex to completely emotionally detatch.
I still want to go play poker together because I hate driving and we can split the cost. Dangit!

What largely spurred this on (I believe) was me telling her she could maybe be happy in her current situation if she'd just change her point of view.

From there she strengthened her resolve to only want code to be her way, issued an ultimatum, followed through, and then immediately caved. Just like always. Again, if you're going to keep being with him you could just be honest with yourself and then you might find some level of solace.

I concede. Although I’d bet on zero payouts occurring

Let's move on. No one gets her jokes.

I don't think you're understanding the concept of emotionally detaching. You don't need him to play poker. You don't even need to play poker!

Yeah, we're all very surprised that you said you were going to do something worthwhile and then 100% failed on the followthrough. That never happens with you.

Have you considered starting a home poker game in your area, going to pub poker, etc.? You'd save on travel time and expenses and you'd probably lose less money too.

There is a home poker game about 45mins from me that I could get back in on, but I just really like playing big 2day tournaments. Cash games are blah to me now.

Yeah, I guess I don't need code3 to play poker either. It's a 3hr drive for me though and I hate driving. I guess I could just go a weekend by myself in July or bring one of my sister's with me. I guess if I went by myself it's not like I won't be surrounded by a few hundred men all day to pick from to have sex with so I wouldn't be missing out on that.

Goddamit, I can't believe I'm in the same spot as last year. Something has to be different.

M,
It may not feel like it now, but you will feel infinitely better if you cut code off completely. If you keep working on yourself eventually you will find someone that likes you for you and isn't embarrassed to bring you around their family, shows affection, etc. He's not your "best friend", he hangs out with you because you give him sex and he can keep everything on his terms w/o compromise and you will fall in line.
Deep down you know this of course, the best friends bit is just lying to yourself. Nobody else is fooled.
Quit smoking. Quit code. Exercise regularly and work on your eating habits. Quit poker, you suck at it and it's a waste of money /time.

That quote with all of those "he doesn't" and ends with "if he says sex I'll jump" tells me you were his FWB.

Reads to me like he put you in the "sex-zone" which for women is probably worse than a guy being in the "friend-zone".

Chiddy,

I like playing poker and have fun, so it's not a waste of money for me. I'll keep playing, just less often because I don't want to drive as much.

Imagine if instead of spending all that time driving and sitting in a card room all day hoping to attract some other poker-playing loser to feed your emotional needs, you spent it playing with your daughter or doing something physically active or cooking or seeing a therapist. You might actually have a chance of making all those positive changes in your life that you're always talking about!

Is that how poker tournaments work? I've been doing it wrong.

More excuses/justification not to change. To be expected coming from you.

We've been over this before. MLYLT is still crazy only because therapists won't work with her schedule. Totally not her fault.

So start a home tournament or play pub poker.

Hahaha, I like playing poker and I play mostly when my daughter is with her dad. Maybe 1 or 2 weekends a year when she is with me and she has a blast playing in the pull and stuff.

I'm definitely not going to look for a relationship with a poker player. I was just saying if the sex is what keeps me wanting to go play with code3, I'll just have random sex with some poker players when I go.

Unless there's a sign that she's tilting away her life savings, or playing so much that she's neglecting her kid or something, I think it's a bit ****ty to tell her categorically to get rid of a hobby that she enjoys. That said, if she's using it as a vehicle for making sure she still gets to see code that's not healthy.

Really? You cant believe it? It comes as a surprise to you?

There isn't even a poker room close to her. The time drain alone is absurd. Time she could be exercising, hanging with her kid, in therapy, participating in productive recreation (like softball), reading etc, etc. That's not even factoring the money. What a ****ty thing to say to someone who's struggling though!

That's fair. I do agree it'd be better for her to follow the recommendation to find a good local cash game to play in, that doesn't involve code in any way. Too lazy to read back, but it sounds like that was also far away and she wasn't into it, so we'll see.

You don’t need to pay the buyin to sleep with the bustouts!

M, did you even play poker before you met Code? Have you ever really done it without it just being an excuse to spend time with him? Are you sure your love for it is really about the game itself and not just that you associate it with getting attention from guys and having sex?

It's weird that your first thought about going to play poker by yourself is about the hundreds of men you'll be surrounded by who might want to have sex with you. And your first about where to find replacement-level sex after quitting Code is the poker room in Dallas, instead of literally anywhere else that wouldn't require you to waste your whole weekend driving for it.

It's like that Seinfeld episode where George tries to combine sex and food and ends up getting sexually aroused by a pastrami sandwich.

I think this compulsive need for sex is related to your compulsive need for igarettes, gas station food, etc. but that would be something to examine in a therapeutic setting

Lol, not sure what you guys are trying to accomplish here.