MLYLT learns to love herself and changes her life (for real this time!) - Page 421

The issue isn't that she doesn't understand your point; you've already gotten your point across to her on many occasions. The issue is that she does not agree with your point. She thinks you're wrong, and since she's your boss, you are wrong in the only sense that matters. You need to accept that or find another job, since no amount of trying to convince her otherwise is ever going to make any difference. Re-watch the video El D posted a few days ago.

Last edited by gregorio; 12-13-2017 at 03:43 PM.

12-13-2017 , 03:58 PM

#10502

Rapini

ragging

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 13,096

MLYLT, get another job ASAP. I'm not sure how I can say that any more clearly and directly so that it actually sinks in this time. You've had plenty of time to recognize that this job isn't a good fit for you.

12-13-2017 , 05:35 PM

#10503

Banned4lyfe

Sup-Bah? Pop-Bah Pooh-Bear Permanently Pooh-Bah Billy Walters Jr

Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 13,932

Quote:

She replied with ,"this is what the job is" and I countered that no it's not and not even close

Classic Babs.

Just skip to driving for Uber.

12-13-2017 , 05:39 PM

#10504

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Citanul is right.
If I found another job and had another idiot boss, I would be in the same boat and dealing with the same issues. I need to learn to deal with this now, and things are set up pretty great right now outside of work. I don't think the position is a bad fit for me, but just my boss.

Boss^2 likes me as well as the Global Director whom emailed me personally a few days ago to discuss a report and other things and I've had a few good interactions with. I don't see a problem with switching to the position I want in the future or that my bosses input in the matter will have much weight with how she is precieved by upper management at my location.
I like the company and plan on staying here for a while.

12-13-2017 , 06:09 PM

#10505

Larry Legend

Celtic Pride

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 42,920

Mlylt,

Your boss is an idiot. You seem to have unrealistic expectations that people who have more senior titles than you are automatically capable of understanding things. They aren't. Your boss is probably just terrible.

12-13-2017 , 06:52 PM

#10506

jmakin

banned

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 30,120

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime

Lol thats not what citanul was saying at all.

12-13-2017 , 07:29 PM

#10507

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

OHP 85x3
I didn't feel to stable doing these.

12-13-2017 , 08:00 PM

#10508

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holliday

So I'm going backwards looking for squat videos. Not seeing anything recent, so if you could tape your next ones, that'd be great.

In the meantime I came across this and not reading enough to see if you've had doctor follow-up yet:

Yes arteries, but GOOD GOD do not look at your brainscan without a doctor unless you've been walked through it a dozen times before. Nothing good will come of it.

I just heard back this week and it wasn't even the doctor. Some girl called and said the doctor wants me to have some test done on my nerves and I can't get in for that until the end of January.

Here are my squats tonight:
165x5

Last edited by MeLoveYouLongTime; 12-13-2017 at 08:05 PM.

12-13-2017 , 08:04 PM

#10509

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmakin

Lol thats not what citanul was saying at all.

He was saying I need to work on interpersonal and communication skills and I agree. I just happen to have trouble communicating and interacting with with idiot bosses.

I also really don't have any regard for authority....not sure that can/will change though.

12-13-2017 , 08:07 PM

#10510

LKJ

Smugly Contemptuous

Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 95,986

Think of it as having regard for your own financial stability.

12-13-2017 , 08:09 PM

#10511

Didace

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 19,878

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime

Here are my squats tonight:
165x5

Why does it look like your knees are doing a figure 8?

12-13-2017 , 08:21 PM

#10512

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Hmm...I guess I was squeezing inward with my inner thighs coming up. Maybe my stance is too wide.
I didn't notice or feel anything different while doing them.

12-13-2017 , 08:38 PM

#10513

Banned4lyfe

Sup-Bah? Pop-Bah Pooh-Bear Permanently Pooh-Bah Billy Walters Jr

Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 13,932

Do you talk to the UPS guy?

12-13-2017 , 08:45 PM

#10514

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Lol... he's a cutie

I haven't had a conversation with him yet.

12-13-2017 , 08:55 PM

#10515

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Wed 12/13 exrcise:

5minwalk@3.7,5°

OHP:
1x15x45
3x5x85

Squats:
1x10x65
3x5x165

Bench:
1x10x45
1x2x145 (assisted)
1x2x140 (assisted)
1x5x105
1x5x95
Ran out of time...

I did the 140 and 145 because these two guys showed up and asked how much I could bench when I was setting up. I told the last max was 130lbs and I told them I could try to do 140lbs to see if I gained anything. One guy spotted and I got the other to film. I almost got them up, but the spotter had to put his fingers on the bar and help halfway. The guy filming aimed right at my croch and it looks terrible, so I'm not posting the video.

12-13-2017 , 09:22 PM

#10516

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Quote:

Originally Posted by citanul

MLY,

Does your company do year end reviews?
Is yours upcoming?
Is it with this boss?

To answer your question, yes, you just ****ed up at work. The conversation you're relaying (which may or may not look anything like the conversation that actually happened, I suppose) is far too emotionally charged. I can practically see you whining/yelling and stomping your feet. Amongst the many things that you could start off fixing is working on being more dispassionate in your conversations. Probably both in normal life and in work, but you could start at work.

As an exercise, think about the conversation you had. Your boss pulled you into a private meeting to discuss a new task that she wanted you to start doing. You didn't want to start doing that task, perhaps (I'd assume) believing that there is another person in your company who makes a more logical fit to perform that task. According to you "and I started talking about how it seems like my job role is transforming into a secretary instead of an engineer." This reads like you took the opportunity to immediately pivot the conversation into some sort of unplanned rant about general job role dissatisfaction, instead of keeping the scope of your response constrained in a way that would be tactically oriented toward perhaps refusing or redirecting the single request made of you.

There are ways to steer the conversation from a single request representative of decisions you disagree with toward the more general complaint artfully and in a way that helps the other party of the discussion understand your point of view. Let's just say that it's fair to assume that is not what happened here, and that perhaps you should make plans to not try to do that.

So that means a better approach to solving your problems might be 1. attempt to redirect/reject the individual request in a constructive manner. 2. organize your thoughts about the general requests you have a problem with so that you are prepared and not emotional when you do get a chance to talk about them, and schedule time to talk to your boss about the general problem. When you bring them to her, you should have a solution not just for your problem ("I want to be doing more engineering and less hanging of signs and administrative crap around the plant!"), but perhaps more importantly, her problem ("I, MLYs boss, need or believe I need some signs hung / administrative tasks done around the plant").

If you don't have a method for solving her problems, this is all useless and is not going to go well.

As a final note: it's entirely possible that your boss believes that she is, by giving you "administrative tasks," actually grooming you for a management position where your role would have less to do with hands-on engineering and more to do with management of people, facilities, etc. If these tasks she's passing off to you are ones that she'd otherwise be doing herself, the odds of this increase substantially. This might not be the vertical advancement plan that is most interesting to you. You might want to pursue a path that goes toward engineering lead and always stay fairly technical. That seems to be the case, at least. But you shouldn't totally discount the idea that your boss is in fact trying to help you transition from gruntish level engineer toward management.

Ugggh!!! I just had a really long post typed out and Tapatalk went crazy.

I really appreciate your feedback, thank you.

We have had our review already. My boss sucks at getting anything done and dropped the ball so had to do them really quickly.

The review doesn't matter though. Everyone is graded on how our plant did as a whole and on our plants matrics. Overall Efficiency has to be X, downtime hours less than X, Overtime less than X$.
Raises come from the reviews and just randomly if you do something big like my raise this year. And it seems promotions are made based on experience and seniority. Half the people at my plant have been there 30+ years and everyone has worked from the bottom up. Other than the engineering manager, there isn't another manager that didn't start from the lowest position possible at the plant. Every supervisor, the production manager, the plant manager and maintenance manager started as temp employees sweeping floors and getting supplies.

My boss was talking about how she would change the review while we were doing it and I hope she never gets the authority to do so. It would be completely subjective and how she feels and she would be setting ******ed goals like spending 2hrs a day talking to people.

12-13-2017 , 09:28 PM

#10517

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Like I said before, upper management is really good at the company. The global Director is very involved with every location and knows a lot of what goes on, and it's not from what anyone tells him.

All of upper(corporate) and middle(plant) management are really involved and hands on. They don't need a recommendation from one person or to look at a review to decide where to place people, they know who is doing what.......unless your boss is claiming they did everything you actually did like my boss does.

12-13-2017 , 10:22 PM

#10518

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Tues 12/12 log:

12-13-2017 , 10:24 PM

#10519

Holliday

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 22,226

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime

OHP 85x3
I didn't feel to stable doing these.

I think that looks pretty good. Actually really good. Stability comes with time unless you want to do extra work for it. You might try holding it at the top for an 8 count on your final rep.

Squats it's not that your feet are too wide--it's that you need to concentrate on pushing your knees outward during the squat. A little hard to see, but I don't think it looks like a bad squatmorning or something that would cause hamstring strain. Why didn't you do 170 today?

12-13-2017 , 11:04 PM

#10520

MeLoveYouLongTime

Not a difficult personality

Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 13,159

Its not too much over explaining g. Thanks again.
I'll need to read that a couple more times to digest everything you are saying though.

12-13-2017 , 11:06 PM

#10521

Land O Lakes

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 7,959

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime

Its not too much over explaining g.

citanul is not a g; he's an og.

12-14-2017 , 10:22 AM

#10522

loco

The First Golden

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 14,845

Last couple of days diet looks good. The "death row" content is down to <20%.

12-14-2017 , 11:12 AM

#10523

Rapini

ragging

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 13,096

Quote:

Originally Posted by citanul

Rapini,

Getting a new job will not help her fix her underlying interpersonal issues, particularly those dealing with authority/bosses. She might as well get some learning under her belt before she changes jobs. I don't think that this job is a good fit for her either, and believe the most likely path for happiness at this job would require leveraging relationship with Boss^s to shift departments/job role significantly. It would probably be easier to simply get a job at a different company. But, she'll be better served (imo) if she works on communication before leaving.

I'm simply recommending that we not engage in the fiction that she's truly interested in fixing interpersonal relationships, especially with bosses/authority. It's more practical to advise finding a job that better fits her personality/reality.

So I think the only thing we disagree on is whether she should leave ASAP or stick around a while to pretend she's working on interpersonal issues. I actually think she's done the latter before, so that indicates to me it's time to try the former and see if that works better.