Hi , I'm a 31 year old fat guy who is determined to change his life around and to become healthy. I am getting married in 14 months and am determined to look good, and more importantly be healthy.

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I used to play rugby at a descent level but because of injury couldn't continue. The past 5 years, I have been in and out of jobs and that took a beating to the way I ate. No reason for it, but I became the typical junk food crack whore.

Here are my current stats:

I am 163.3kgs as of this morning at 8.
I'm 5'11
Based on this weight my daily calorie expenditure is 3787

Today for me is day 1.

I have bought a withings scale. I intend to check my weight once a week. Every time I step on this scale it posts my weight on the withings app. My best friend who is also trying to lose weight has downloaded the app and bought the scale too. This means he can see what I weigh as soon as I get off the scales, as I have added him as a user (and vice verca).

Likewise I have downloaded myfitnesspal and have begun to track my calories. I am determined to eat healthy and cut out crap food. I know there are going to be the occasional lapse, but my aim is to only eat crap when it is rare and appropriate. (My wedding). Furthermore we have set rewards and penalties for ourselves if we don't meet our targets. (goofy stuff...)

Based on my target weight goal, I want to reduce my calorie intake to 1800 calories a day

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast: 100g cornflakes, 200ml semi skimmed milk = 469 calories
Lunch: Salad which included 250g cooked chicken, beetroot, feta cheese, pickles, and 2 tea spoons of olive oil, and a bag of mixed leaves= 786
Dinner: " eggs spinach omelette = 360 calories
Snacks: 2 clementines =70 calories
Total = 1685 calories

I aim to be drinking 2 litres of water a day. Have drank 1.5ltrs so far today.

Exercise:

I have bought starting strength. I have started reading it. There isn't a gym for miles near me, so I'm going to buy a bench and weights. (the cellar might as well be used for something!). I won't be able to buy it until next month however (money etc)

Anyway , if anyone wants more info, just let me know.

If it's truely rare and appropriate it may be better psychologically to not think of it as a lapse. Enjoying holiday meals, dinner out with someone you haven't seen in a while, etc. with the understanding of going right back to eating well immediately after will be a whole lot easier than thinking these 'lapses' are failures. The key is to make sure they actually remain rare and appropriate.

I love the forced accountability of the withings scale and the reward/punishments though.

Hi man thanks for the post..

I think accountability is the big one for me. That's why I'm here! In regards to the psychology angle, I think your spot on.... The proof will be in the pudding as it were. Thanks for posting!

best of luck! and gratz to the engagement.

it's a bad idea to start out with a goal of 1800kcal per day, that's way too low. it won't be sustainable, history gives you a 95+% chance of failing within a month or two (probably a huge binge followed by never logging again). of course, it's not impossible, but just very very unrealistic. but even if you achieve it, you will also end up with a lot more loose skin than if you lose the weight slower, hormonal "damage" & muscle loss will be higher etc.

i really recommend to pick an easier, but more sustainable goal. unless you are very active, your tdee calculation seems very high btw. iifym.com gives you 3000kcal / day if you're sedentary ("bank teller, desk job") and 3650kcal / day if you're very active ("bike messenger / carpenter"). i'd say start out with a 750kcal / day deficit. you will still lose the weight (especially in the beginning with the water loss).

the only way you will achieve your goals (what are they btw?) is to stay consistent for a long long time. but anyway, and again, best of luck!

ps: the rest of your plan with starting strength sounds good.

+1 to tron's post

Slow and steady is better; you'll lose plenty of water weight initially anyway, which should be positive reinforcement enough

Hi Guys, Thanks for the posts.

I'll up the calory intake. FYI for me the biggest thing is portion management. I just am terrible at it.

Main goals are too get to 100Kg by April 2017 for the wedding. I know that is still over weight, but I think it's doable. Going shopping for clothes sucks. Id like to be able to wear a nice tweed suit and look dapper.

On the weights side, I have a question. I can't go to a gym because there is not one for miles. I won't have a spotter then, or someone to check my form? Suggestions..

On a happy note, I just got a wisdom tooth pulled. I look like an out of a lord pf the rings movie

Thanks for the support guys.

Good luck! You seem to have a good attitude and an achievable goal (although losing 60kg in 14 months is no joke and will require consistency). Go go go!

wrt to lifting, spotting, form, etc...

If you look at the stickies in this forum there is an active thread for posting form check videos. If you post videos in this thread too you'll get regulars chiming in with advice.

You've got SS, so read and reread that to learn as much as you can. It is boring as f*ck to read tho. Watch youtube from reputable guys. I've found Alan Thrall's how to videos to be pretty good, concise tutorials. Watch the videos and read the responses from the form check thread.

For spotting, it will probably be a while (at least some months) until it becomes an issue, but if you are planning on buying a squat rack/cage for home, getting one with safety bars takes a lot of risk out of it.

HI Snitch,

Thanks for the post...Will start posting form vids as soon as I buy the weights, and will search those videos too. Great suggestion.. You are right to..SS is boring as hell, but I suppose most manual are!

In other news, walked to the supermarket with the gf. Because my face looks swollen after my tooth removal, people were giving wifey dirty looks!

Be very careful in understanding the exercises in SS. In spite of being the staple for beginners, they are technically quite challenging & hard, thus by association - quite easy to *** up, get injured or completely disillusioned with.

You should do some resistance training as soon as you are conditioned enough by starting off on some cardio and bodyweight stuff like air squats etc. I lost quite a lot of weight in 2012 doing only jogging and dieting. No weight training at all and eventually the balance between losing fat or lean tissue tipped to damaging levels and I lost a lot less fat than the scale indications lead me to believe.

As far as struggling with portion control my only advice would be to continue eating what you like and try your best to wield control over the portions. This control will be a lot harder if you start eating things you dislike just because you are dieting. Eventually you should be able to control this mental aspect of dieting. My problem was snacking after dinner and before bed. Then I started reminding myself that I will be having bfast in about 8 hours!! All I have to do is control myself for 8 hours and not even really since I would be asleep for most of it. No big deal.

Keep your eye on the prize and do not let that motivation go away. If you can keep that up you will ultimately create your own strategies to resolve the cognitive dissonance you will face when there is a molten chocolate cake not 3 feet from your reach.

The problem is that the missus makes the best molten lava cake there is, and sticky toffee pudding, and apple crumble etc.. You get the point .. I have told myself that these things are ok when it's rare and appropriate, but not every night, or every week! I reckon 1 slice of dessert once a month is ok as a reward.

On the SS stuff, I cant start yet anyway for at least a month untill I can afford the weights and bench. In the meantime, I'm going to see how this new eating habit is working...

The worst thing is, that what I had for lunch today was awesome. Roast chicken, mozzarella, tomato, avocado salad on 2 slices of pumpernickel. Came in at under 800 cals (will post specifics for the whole day later tonight.)

I mean the meal rocked. Yes avocado and mozzarella are high in fats, but as the earlier posters suggested I probably should be eating more than the 1800 cals i initially suggested. But I digress, the point is it was awesome! But before I started trying to lose weight I wouldn't even think about making a salad....I honestly believe that junk food is a drug.

Thanks for the post sensei, and I will be sure to post vids of my form on here once I start.

Lots of good advice ITT. Looks like you have the right attitude, good luck.

Cheers cockboat!

People trying to turn their life around really restores my faith in humanity.

GL Wildebeeset!

So food for the day.

2 boiled eggs on a white muffin: 300 cals
Chicken, tomato, mozarella, avocado and pumpernickel bread salad: 766 cals
Salmon fillet with peas and roast butternut squash 758 cals

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Total: 1824

Have drank about 2.5 litres of water today

Cheers fella, from one Irishman to another!

(Only half though... Bred in Belfast)

This is VERY encouraging. Figuring out ways to truely enjoy healthy foods is going to make this so much easier.

I'm sure I may get a lot of pushback here but I actually hate the idea of portion control. It just ends up being a constant struggle to not go for a little more cake or have a few more chips. You can then win that battle and not go for the unhealthy food but are back facing that same struggle 10 mins later when you start having more cravings.

The executive function part of your brain can only deal with so much of this before just giving in to the cravings.

The alternative of just going with healthy nutrient rich foods that you actually enjoy when these cravings come will take away a lot of that struggle and you will stay within a healthy calorie range more organically.

No one gains weight by eating too many fruits and vegetables.

Try to get your wife on board here. It's still possible to lose weight with sweets and stuff around, but it's easier if they aren't.

I'm glad you're choosing an initial goal that is doable but as you say, still "over weight". You should always be in a state of "lose some more, then re-evaluate". Choose small goals, accomplish them, then move on to the next. I used to weight 255lb, I currently weight 175, and I've been as low as about 163. I lost it in waves: 250 to 220. 220 to 190. 190 to 180. 180 to 175. Each one of those was a concerted push, with some maintenance time in between. I started when my son was born. I didn't want to be fat in general, but in particular, I didn't want to be a fat dad, I didn't want to be unable to be there for my kids. My dad is fat (well, everyone in my family is fat) and we worry about him all the time. If he makes it to 70 it'll be a miracle.

Release yourself from shame, if you can. Being fat is not a moral failing, despite that society wants to make it out as one. Don't morally judge yourself for it, and don't judge other people also. I've found myself a happier person by just accepting control over my own life and not caring about other people's. Shame is really really counter-productive in trying to make a change in your life.

Consider the case of YTF, where every time he blows a day he just goes over the top and it spirals out of control. I think that's a case of shame. He makes a mistake and punishes himself for it. Mistakes happen. Let it go. I don't know if you play poker, but every one of us chases in a bad way sometimes, loses a buyin or two as a result. Let it go at that, get up from the table and start again tomorrow.

It's going to take you some time to figure out how much you can eat, and what you can eat. Once you've adjusted to it, it's really nothing too hard. The adjustment period is the hard part. So be easy on yourself in that stage. It's easy to think "I'll be this hungry every day the rest of my life" but the truth is once you adjust to a lower calorie intake it just becomes normal and you're not hungry. Feeling hungry is a mental process more than a physiological one, for anyone who gets to eat 2-3 regular meals every day.

Try to shift your snacking. I got used to eating stuff like beef jerky, or pre-cooked grilled meat as snacks, sometimes with stuff like string cheese. Yogurt is good. Steel rolled oatmeal. Stuff that is high in protein and filling. Some of them don't really seem like "snacks" or a "treat" but it's not long until a bowl of oatmeal with some cream and honey sounds pretty good. I could use a bowl right now.

Figure out what your big meal of the day is and plan around that. For me it's usually dinner so I try to keep my consumption early in the day low, to accomodate not really knowing what I'll eat for dinner. If lunch is your big meal then maybe consider not eating very much before lunch. Track your calories throughout the day so that it's not a surprise when you get to dinner time and you only have 300 calories left. (I would argue that in these cases it's better to eat 500-600 calories and go over than to go to bed hungry but opinions vary)

Anyway, good luck! Keep logging every day, makes it way easier. No judgement here, log those gas station muffins even if you feel bad about it.

Hi man,

Thanks for the post. You are of course right.. I would love to say that my diet is going to change..To be honest it's not the food in the house that is the temptation... It's the walking past the pizza place on the way home...For me it's more about avoiding those pitfalls..

On the plus side though I have bought a slow cooker. If I have a nice tasty curry with me for lunch, or some 4 bean stew, I don't think I will binge out on junk food crack. Well thats the plan!

Dude,

First of all thanks for taking the time to right such a detailed post. So much good info here...

Sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is not fat but has cancer and epilepsy and a stubborn streak a mile wide...

I don't think being fat is a moral failing, but like you when I have kids I don't want to be the fat dad..Likewise I'm getting married soon, and I don't want to be a fat husband... I know my gf loves me, but on some level, I dont want her to be embarrassed of me. (she never would be by the way, but this is how i think..)

Your point bout snacking is interesting, and goes to what was mentioned earlier about portion control. This is fundamentally my weakness. I have in the past (feeling guilty, sigh) had no problem eating a KFC meal as a snack and then going home to have dinner...and probably desert.

Incidentally my gf and I have talked about having the right kind of snacks I can take with me . (she is on board btw, and is trying to lose some weight herself ...10kgs lol..) I think I have basically decided to buy lots of chicken breast in bulk and always keep a tub handy! Beef jerky is not my thing... Also bringing more fruit with me to work , and drinking lots more water to curb hunger pangs...

Anyway logging cals is my new hobby.. :-)

I am blown away by the support and advice people are giving to a newb here.

Again, thanks for the great post.

Yeah always having something reasonable on hand to eat is good. Leaves you no real excuse ("I was hungry and all there was to eat was junk food"). Certain kinds of snacks (like the stuff I mentioned) basically throw portion control out the window. You don't like jerky, fine, but basically I don't think anyone is really capable of eating "too much", you can kind of eat as much as you like and it'll be OK. The same goes for stuff like carrots and brocolli and what not.

Oh another little thing that I find pretty useful. If I'm going to eat something like a cookie, I usually eat something filling and low calorie before that. Like a handful of carrots or something. So after I eat the cookie, I feel full. Really, the enjoyment of a food drops way off after the first bit - the first cookie is way better than the 10th. So getting to eat something good and still feel full is nice.

Lots of people on this forum are or were just like you.

I've always liked the thought that "losing weight is simple, but it isn't easy", which is actually true of a lot of things in life.

One last parting thought, I swear. I think you've maybe already realized it.

If you can make a meal out of normal whole foods that fits your diet, it will usually taste way better and satisfy more than a "light" version of something that (normally) wouldn't. Low fat or low sugar versions of fatty/sugary stuff are usually just not very good and end up reminding you of the good version of them.

So things that are mostly composed of lean meats, vegetables, fruits, greens, eggs, dairy, etc, are good. I am not someone who demands variety (or rather, I prioritize simplicity with my schedule) so sometimes I'll go a whole week eating stir fried shrimp with some vegetable and kung pao sauce. It's good, it's easy, it's low calorie, and it's filling. Fridge to plate in 10 or 15 minutes.

To be fair, I don't care what I eat variety wise either. Now that I have the slow cooker, the plan is to throw some stuff in it before I go to bed , and have a couple of days worth of food for the week. The only exception is that I persuaded my gf to let us ear fish on a Saturday. I love the stuff, but she isn't to keen.

Likewise I was never a fan of diet or light foods as they just didn't taste the same.. I still can't drink diet coke. That is another thing I have to make a concerted effort not to touch...Pop...I can drink the stuff by the litre, so am not keeping it in the house. I know it'd empty calories, but god it tastes so good!

In regards to losing weight being simple, just not easy....I agree.. I suppose at the end of the day all it is, is creating a calorie deficit.... But the willpower and actually planning and for thought are the difficult things..

Again thanks for the posts!

Everyone has a different relationship with food, so take this with a grain of salt. I'm in the middle of a weight loss effort myself. I'm down about 35lbs since Sept. with around 30 more to go. I'm counting calories and exercising. I also ate like crap before starting this. However, I HATE the idea of giving up some of the crappy things that I love, so for me, I'd much rather have a small portion of it than say goodbye.

I never do a "binge" day or whatever. I plan ahead, have some of what's "bad", and eat smart the rest of the day. Even on Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I stayed on target. I've worked too damned hard to give back progress.

Two other quick thoughts. As Rusty said above, the severe hunger will pass. For me, after about a month it got way better. I'm still often (usually?) hungry, but not nearly as much so as before. Also, I definitely leave myself calories for a few snacks. Almost mini meals. Eating about 5x per day works for me - three main meals and two substantive snacks. Egg whites on a piece of toast is the nuts for my midnight snack.

Good luck mate.

Hi Thikk, first of all good luck for your own goals and thanks for the post.

This is only day 3, and I still have that bout of hope, like I do everyone I try to lose weight. I thinkna planned semi binge is a good idea... My problem is, when I do said binge , is making sure it doesn't turn into a 3 day binge fest! But that's up to me and hopefully my will power! I need to keep the eye on the prize and not let myself, my girlfriend or my mate down! (No pressure )

So slept in this morning as I got up in the middle of the night as I hat tooth pain, and took some ibuprofen and went back to bed. So missed breakfast.


Had the exact same lunch as yesterday though:

Mozzarella, Chicken, tomato, avocado on 2 slices of pumpernickel bread: 766 cals

Dinner was a beast of a roast dinner:

127g chicken breast: 250 cals
160gThe white meat off the drumstick, no skin: 270cals
80g peas: 70cals
150g carrots: 50cals
1.6cups: 290 cals
80ml gravy: 276 cals

Dinner total:1206cals

Heres a pic, I know the pic is naff...but you get the picture,

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The total comes to 1972cals for the day. Still under 2000, but boy am i stuffed after that dinner. It was a beast, but most of it was either veg or chicken! Have to say , I was v proud of myself and cut my gravy portion by half! (I love gravy and sauces in particular)

On that note because of my love of fatty sauces, I have thrown out all the sauces out of my house ( mayo, salad cream , ketchup, curry sauce), apart from Tobasco.. I know those other ones are just calorie bombs, and won't help me in the long run to reshape my taste buds.