MLY,

Didn't you just mention you're on a manic high? I'd give a good think over those conclusions.

I'm not your doctor, but I'd advise speaking to your doctor wrt your medication.

Best of luck.

Yeah, I need to give it a couple of weeks before I make any rash decisions. I'm coming down hard and have been extremely Moody the last couple of days.

Weight still coming down....at a slow crawl.
I really need to start a gym routine soon.

I've noticed I'm moodier when my mind has too much time to overthink. Anyone have a good book recommendation?

https://www.amazon.com/Expert-Politi.../dp/0691128715

That's pricy....if you say it's good I'll read it though, might have to go to 1/2price books to find it.

I've been thinking a lot about finances and trying to find my purpose or what the hell will make me enjoy life more. I'm certainly trying to enjoy the little moments everyday and focus on the present, but I'm a planner and planning things gives me comfort. I like Sadhguru and his philosophy. One of his silly references is a potato farmer going to an apple tree and digging for apples instead of just reaching up and grabbing the apple in reference to pursuing happiness. You can't pursue happiness, it's already available within us everyday moment of everyday, but I still want to plan for the future and chase something.

I know I definitely want to run my own company: I've worked with a lot of idiots, had to do a lot of things I don't really enjoy, and put up with a lot of bullshit on the regular. I've found that having more empathy and not taking things personally have helped deal with the bullshit. I really try to step back and observe people and understand where they are coming from now instead of getting pissed by how they are acting towards me....not 100% out of the weeds and still get mad, but I'm getting there.
Anywho, the plan:
I'm maxing out my 401k, IRA, and daughters college savings for the next 8yrs. It would be 6yrs if I could get a pay bump to where my income should be with my experience level, but not holding my breath for that. I haven't been able to save **** with switching jobs and paying student loans, so almost starting from nothing ($21k). I did wipe out a good portion of my student loans with the sell of my house this year though and only have 10yrs left on my big one.
After 8yrs my retirement will be set without having to contribute anymore and I'll have enough for my daughters college.
As soon as I get my PE (hopefully begging of next year)I will file for an LLC to save on some tax breaks and start doing consulting in different areas to see what I would enjoy doing on my own.
This gives me 8yrs to figure out what my business will be, get a business plan together, and maybe some investors. Hopefully this happens sooner, but 8yrs is the cutoff....that will put me at 29yrs working for someone else and I'm already over it now, not sure how much longer I can endure it.
Right now I have 45% of my income going to savings, if I could freaking quit smoking I could get that to 48%. I could also cut down my extra spending, but meh....I like my yearly perfume splurge and my candles. I do plan on having a tummy tuck and that will set me back a bit and I'll need to replace the new clothes I just bought in a year. I'm a size 10/12 and 36DDD bra now!!!! I should drop one more size with the last 35lbs.
1yr of not smoking would cover half the cost of the surgery.

I liked it. Monte liked it. There is a used version for under $9.

:Thumb: Ordered, thanks!

Someone please give me a 3day/week weight lifting plan and I'll do it.
I need some sort of push or motivation to get back to exercising.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stormlight_Archive

That sounds like a series I would love!

Today I brought up me possibly going to contract with a pay bump equivalent to the retirement matching, employee taxes, and health care. Completely reasonable amount and wouldn't cost the company any more money. My boss got furious and said he didn't like the idea and I wasn't going to "hang him over the Barrell"....whatever the hell that means. He also said that I just want to be completely in charge and I wouldn't be, he's in charge and it would not be an arrangement where only I benefit......I have no idea how to interpret anything he said or what he means. The only difference would be I could work from home, he couldn't stalk me on the camera, or track my location with the tracking app we had to put on our personal phones. I'm already working completely independent of him on my current project and other stuff.
What am I missing here, how does it hurt/not benefit him in any way ?

He doesn't like me and it actually benefits him to not have to go through the CEO or HR if he wanted to try to get rid of me.

I just want to work from home and get away from him and this new COO while I look for another job.

You should ask some of your questions here https://www.askamanager.org/ask-a-question

Hmmm...thanks, I'll check that out.

I think I'm going to tell him to forget about it and just keep looking for jobs. Gonna really take my time and be selective so I don't jump into another bad situation to get out of one.


Anyway, I got some new heels for this weekend to go with my "sexy" Halloween costume.
My legs are looking like they did in my early 20s!
I have a lot of insecurities around dressing up for Halloween. Code3 and I have been going to a rave type party for the last few years where a lot of the women are just body painted and everyone else is in sexy costumes. Im always the only fat chick there and was treated that way too. Had a guy cut right in front of me (physically pushed his way in front of me shoving me back with his body) in the drink line with two women that were with him when code3 left me to go to the bathroom last year. I have gotten a lot of "what are you doing here" disgust looks, and just the typical bad treatment of fat women.
Other than that we generally have a lot of fun and I'm really excited to actually be able to fit into a normal costume this year. I still feel insecure and overweight though as the costume is size large and really tight, and I know I'll still be bigger than everyone else.

Feeling a little better today, hopefully I can get back to "normal" soon. My sleep has been out of wack for two weeks now, the last couple of days I have slept an hour at lunch and 3 hrs when I get home before going to bed a couple hours later....I still feel completely exhausted.
Gonna see the new Dune movie tomorrow and partying on Saturday, should be an enjoyable weekend.

I started back up the Hello Fresh meals and have been cooking, I was cooking half as much when I started going back to the grocery store and relying on myself to pick recipes.

A new guy started at work, I chatted him up and he used to be a trainer at a gym. He said he would give me a weight lifting program to follow. When he does I'll get back to the gym. I may go ahead and make myself start next week.

Halloween party this year vs last year.

Weigh in:
Right about time to start dancing last night I felt instantly completely hammered and threw up in a trash can. I had two crown and cokes+ some Malibu rum. About 8oz of alcohol, I really have no tolerance. I may drink a tiny bit next weekend, but I'm not going to drink more than 2oz at a time again until new years. I may just have to cut out alcohol altogether.

Dinner tonight..... obviously not eating that much, but it's fun to plate it up.

I logged calories on Monday and was around 2400, that has been about my intake for the last couple of weeks. Lots of Halloween candy/suckers. Gonna cut back down to 1600.

On the job front:
The old COO(chairman of the board -guy that hired me) was in the office last week and my boss got a talking to. My boss has been a completely different person the last couple of weeks and actually enjoyable to work with. Had a little argument today about him jacking with one of my spreadsheets I spent a lot of time building, I locked him out of it and he yelled at me, but whatever he ****ing up my stuff.

I got a call from the owner of a small plastics manufacturing plant today and we had a really long conversation. He wants to bring someone in with my background and train them up to be an executive in the next 5yrs so he and his wife can retire. The guy is really really smart and down to earth, I like him. Going to meet with him this weekend to look at the plant and discuss things more. I may be making a switch really soon.

Congratulations on the weight loss M. You look great!

Thanks Rexx

Keep on posting. I know this is supposed to be H&F, but I am way more interested in peoples personal progress with life and work.
I put up a plan here several years ago in a different forum and asked other business people to smash it up as best they could. I never took any criticism personally and really took it as a way of seeing the holes in my plan and kept developing my plan and working all the kinks out.

When I need motivation, I watch motiviversity videos on youtube on my ipad when I am on the treadmill.

MLY,

8oz of hard liquor is around 1/3rd of a normal bottle of booze. You also weigh around 3/4ths of what you did before. I have no idea on how gastric bypass affects alcohol absorption or anything of the sort. But it is very reasonable to be drunk after downing a third of a fifth!

Eating before, not doing shots, and drinking more water are all viable ways to not end up face down in a trash can or toilet.

Looking great, nice work!

Thanks TooC!

:Thumb:
What was your thread called and I'll go check it out?

My weight/eating/habits are directly tied to my mental health Wich is a direct result of my environment (and genetics). So life and work progress are going to result in health progress.

I think I have come a long way, but I am still getting really triggered by the way men talk to me. I think I need to find another therapist here to work through that-gey to a point to where it no longer bothers me.