I managed to log calories on Thursday:
2206cal, 184g carbs, 74g fat, 95g protein.(pic upload not working) This would be typical calories for the past couple of months. 500cals from alcohol.....I've been maintaining, but would be losing is I cut out all booze and just keep the diet I have.

It feels like I've just been sleeping and laying around eating cheese for a week, but in reality my average sleep for the past week is only 8hrs 11mins. I haven't averaged 8hrs of sleep since I had covid and then one week in June of last year. I feel so refreshed and rested now. This feels like an actual real vacation. I just get to actually relax and not be looking for a job or dreading/thinking about the one I have....just complete bliss of nothing to worry about. I get another entire week of this!

My brother committed suicide yesterday. He was being transitioned between halfway houses and was suddenly off of his bi-polar meds for a few days. He escaped and had his wife pick him up. His wife took my mother to the doctor yesterday and when they returned they found him. My mother cut him down and was trying to save him, but it was already too late.

I've gone through so many emotions from hating my mother to hating the justice system, hating that no one really ****ing knows what causes bipolar and everyone is just guessing on how to treat mental illness to resting on the realization that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I can't even imagine how that must feel. I am very sorry for your loss.

Condolences.

Just saw this and thought of you:

How are you?

How is the family?


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Gotta have jelly on both sides

I'm doing okay, thanks. My oldest sister and mother have had the hardest time and my mom had a psychotic meltdown but is doing better.

Thank you.

hope you're bearing up

I am, thank you

I guess I'm back. I'm lonely and feel lost with no sense of purpose. I want to lift weights and feel good again. Sitting at 205lbs now.

Ive only smoked about 1 month since April and am vaping now. I did the off brand Chantix for about 5months and started feeling really depressed/suicidal so cut it off.

Life Updates:
I final tabled two big tournaments in a week and then final tabled two small local tournaments the following week and made some decent money right after I "quit" my job at the end of October.

So I semi-quit my job....
My boss actually turned out to be the best boss I've ever had and I really liked the work. There was a fun guy/prankster there and when my boss said "nooooo" during the interview he was actually talking to this guy who was about to turn the lights out in the office I was in. I made a couple of friends and got to work with some great guys as well. But, everyone in the department was depressed which made me more depressed, the drive ended up being 2.5-3hrs daily, they were insane about the hours like we were hourly employees at McDonalds, and I was having to drive to sketchy parking lots to take naps at lunch because we werent allowed to be in our cars on the property during lunch(a lot of insane rules like this there). Also, the engineering director ended up being a really aweful person; he was the charming type of narcissist+pyscopath. It took me a couple of weeks to figure it out, but oh man, when I did he sensed it and did a complete 180 then started treating me really badly. He made bizarre comments about my brothers death, accused me of putting alcohol in my coffee and doing coccain....I just felt insane when interacting with him. I was leading a big project and anytime there was a meeting(2-3x per week) he would cut me off if I spoke. He literally cut me off 7+ times in a meeting and it was just comical and everyone started laughing at how ridiculous it was. After about three weeks of being there I was almost begging for some work to do and in response he said, "well, we are all just trying to get used to working with a woman around here". I don't think he was actually sexist, but was intentionally trying to upset me. He started saying things like this almost daily.
Turns out he was also turning the temperature down near my cube and in the meeting rooms because he knew I got cold; I was wearing a puff coat in Texas during the summer.
I was depressed and just really ready to be done with him, the hours, the insane rules, and the drive.
I spoke to my boss about finishing out the project and moving departments within the company and alluded to wanting to quit soon. The following week hr met with me asking about all the situations with the engineering director,like lowering the temp in the conference rooms that I wasn't even aware he was doing. They were so scared I was ready to sue and offered me 2.5months pay+3 weeks vacation pay.

I ignored all the red flags and cons of this job and I'm about to repeat the same freaking mistake. A company made me a really good offer for a "hybrid" 1-2 days a week in the office job, but during the interview I got the feeling that I would actually be expected to be on-site full time and they asked me how I deal with difficult people because they have a lot of them because people are working long hours and are stressed. The start date is January 16th. I'm financially set until Oct 2023, but I still can't get over my fear of not having a job and can't force myself to turn down this offer even though I know it's going to be a another bad situation. I'm hoping this other company comes through with an offer soon, great people, great work, but with the drawback of traveling cross country 2days a week.


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That's great. Are you still obese though?

Yes, I am back to being obese. I've gained about 20lbs this past year.

I felt really good physically and with how I looked when I was in the 170s last year, so that's what I'll aim for. I believe going below 170 would produce a lot of loose skin. I really just want to work toward something and feel good.

The excess calories have been mostly, if not all, from alcohol+ the juices I mix with it. Went from drinking just twice a year to everyday.
Alcohol everyday has made me feel less anxious, subdued, and be able to fall asleep when I know I will be up all night, but it has also made me tired, less active, fat, and I am seeing noticeable aging in my face this year.

Fast food has been very minimal, but I have eaten a lot of texmex/cheese/tortillas and slid back to the old coffee+cream habit. I have cooked a lot at home this past year and can actually make some pretty decent meals now.
I remember a time where I didn't want to buy fresh vegetables because I thought it would take too long to cut them up and cook, now I'm making homemade sushi lol.


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Meal prep service b/c you can't cook or be trusted to make healthy choices at restaurants+30 mins cardio per day+ any weight training routine 3-5x/wk. Bro split, hosplit where you just train glutes+hamstrings and barely pay attention to other muscle groups, ppl, starting strength, anything... it hoenstly doesn't matter. Just do something you find enjoyable and put a reasonable amount of effort into it. Some ephedrine+caffeine and always eat oatmeal AM because it's ultra-satiating and you'll be un-obese. Cut out basically all non-fruit sugars because you are addicted. it'll be hard for maybe 10 days and then you'll stop craving it at all.

The reason people treat you poorly is because you are obese and human beings have an incredibly strong bias toward attractive and against unattractive people, even in ostensibly non-sexual or romantic interactions.

The people you complain about are not narcissists/charming/pathological or in need of some psychological diagnosis. You seem to run into these "crazy" and abusive people in your workplace at a frequency far higher than should be probabilistically possible. I don't think it's all in your head or that you're imagining things; they probably do treat you really badly. They treat you this way because you are an eyesore. They, and all human beings, are animals who often have trouble controllling their own biases and instincts. They absolutely would not treat pretty healthy weight women or men this way. Is it fair? no. Can you fix this? yes.



Your mental illness will also magically disappear as you get physically healthier and people start treating you better.

Your problems are incredibly simple. Are they difficult and challenging? yes abolutely. But complex? not at all. Attractive people get treated better and are assessed as more competent/loving/charitable/intelligent etc, and being obese is a sure-fire way to be very unattractive and thus judged, fairly or not, as evil, incompetent, stupid, or worthy of poor treatment. You'll probably protest, but no it's really not any more complicated than the above.

Mental health problems in the west are mostly a scam and gaslighting from "professionals" who are collectively delusional about how the world, human beings, and society works. But even if you buy into this fake-ass paradigm, diet is still one of the best possible treatments for "mental health" problems, which are about 99% fake.

Lol at all this nonsense. What is the name of your banned account?

And actually, yes, I would posit that engaging the the hyper-structured lifestyle, discipline, exercise, and diet necessary for bodybuilding would probably solve many mental health problems. (this is not a suggestion for mlylt to become a bodybuilder)

A problem having a simple (not easy) solution does not underplay the severity of the problem. I mean if your dick gets cut off and needs to be surgically re-attached, it's still a pretty severe problem but the solution doesn't exactly take a lot of navel gazing or contemplation to arrive at.

That doesn't mean that making one's body physically healthier and less gross will not alleviate depressive symptoms. In fact, if one is obese and having depression from some other source, its damn near guaranteed that being obese will make those symptoms worse.

It depends on the person. No matter how much you want to project, people are different. In MLY's position, it probably is true because she has spoke on it before.

Not sure where you're going with the cutting off your dick stuff, but why are you posting this on your gimmick?

Right... so that's why I'm posting in the mlylt thread and not some other person's thread with this very simple recommendation. You stick to the condolences, I'll post the solutions.

I mean if you're really curious my name on here was Evoken. But I lost my password and really like my new name because I am just an ordinary and very milquetoast guy who likes to go to the gym.

If this were true, then you wouldn't have told her that all her problems would magically go away if she were fit. Nice try, though.

I once knew a sane person who posted three times in a row in a thread. J/k.

Mlylt, good luck. People at work are probably not out to get you* and you should probably try to take better care of yourself physically. Taking care of yourself physically will probably make you feel a little bit better which will make you act more reasonably which will make people treat you a tiny bit better some time from now which will make it easier to take better care of yourself physically which is a recursion.

Well, at least that is the idea. Should only take a few years to get there if you don't delay in starting and don't suffer any major setbacks. Again, good luck. I've nothing to add that hasn't been said enough already.

*The vast majority of people are not out to get anyone. They've got more important things to do, such as try to figure out where that missing sock went or worry about whether the milk is going to expire

Mostly for LOL's benefit, I just wanted to confirm that GuyThatGoesToDaGym is definitely not a gimmick as the term is normally used. He has been logging under this name for a while and in his log has been completely open about his old handle. As far as I know he was never banned, he just took a voluntary break from 2p2. He has also posted plenty of photos, so he is not concealing his identity in any way. I still call hm Evoken (or more commonly Emoken) and he seems totally cool with it. In fact this post may be the first time I've actually used his new user name.

Anyway, carry on.

MLYLT really gets the drama going! I'm gonna go make some popcorn now.