Took the advice from TotP and programmed in singles after doubles week.

LBBS
x1 up to @9, then drop 5% and do x1 until @9
315, 345, 370 (pr), 355, 355

**** yeah

Bench and DL Tuesday

Nice work.

sick lift

sick life

Is 370 an alltime squat PR?

Yes, all time squat PR

Last PR was 365 March 2015

Shiiiip the PR! No vid I presume?

Damn!

Naaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't post videos anymore. Leads to too many cooks in the kitchen. I have some people I work out with who keep me honest wrt form.

Pain has continued in my leg. Maybe it's my hamstring? IDK. I went in today to bench and everything felt like it usually does when I don't maintain ridiculous volume. Hard. No bench PR in sight today. And my leg hurts. So maybe I won't go for a deadlift PR tomorrow. Might sit pretty until Saturday or so and see if time heals all wounds.

Really glad to hear things are looking up. You'll be squared away soon and this will all be behind you.

+1

Hope resolution ends up being satisfactory, fakeb

Good to hear mr Golden, this Will End Well.

Only asked about vid so I could watch in awe/jealousy/admiration, not very interested in being form police cause lol.

You'll still secretly judge if he misses depth. Don't lie

+2

Woohooooooo took time off and today squatted pain free 315x5. Not bad not bad despite basically not squatting for two weeks. This is w1d1. 405 in twelve weeks at the end of this cycle imo plz and thank you

Not sure I will hit 405x1 squat after all. Numbers there just aren't moving up like they need to.

Other stuff tho

Comp bench 295x3
Deadlift 415x3 first DL PR in years

congrats on the PR!

Thanks

I spent a while doing nonstandard deadlifts. For over a year, I only DLed in squat shoes. The deficit helped me get a better back position and hamstring activation. And then I tried snatch grip and found a wider grip also helped (not snatch grip, just wider). I tried flat footed normal grip width here and there and it just felt awful and for some reason was much weaker. But recently I tried it again and all of the squat shoe wide grip stuff must have helped me correct something, because now flat footed/normal grip feels strong af.

In other words, fakeb continues fakeb-ing

End of year stats

Bw: 180
Waist: 32.5"
Breasts: b-cup

Shifted most of my focus to squats.

Squat
385 x1
405xFAIL
350x5
315x10
365x1 paused

DL (back to conventional)
405x4
435x2

Bench
315x1 comp
280x4 comp
265x6 tng
280x4 close grip tng

Life is moving forward and hard but getting better and I am happy. I was on the edge when I began posting again. Each day was a choice not to kill myself. I've struggled with it since I was a teenager, and no amount of life changes or therapy helped.

I think this is something that's hard for people to grasp unless they've been through it. I heard a lot of, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Lolololololll. How many years or decades does someone struggle before it's seen as a mental illness, not as a temporary problem? Someone like Robin Williams fought into his sixties and finally decided not to continue. Who would dare tell him it was a temporary problem?

I've been irrationally against medication for years and years, but now I felt like well, last option, here we go.

It was like flipping a switch in my brain. I feel very different. I don't feel like every little thing might break me. Most of the time, I have a balanced perspective and can focus again on taking care of myself long term. I feel happy. Some stuff still sucks and is hard, but I'll make it. There was one *ahem* unacceptable side effect, but I lowered the dose and the timing of when I take the med, and now all is well.

Honestly, I am lucky. There is a small part of the population that is resistant to medication. I understand the agony of those people's lives and can empathize with those who consider giving up.

The other issue which shall not be named is in legal progress and should be over in a month or two, one way or another.

Also spent the last few months working with my sister to sell her house and find a new place for us to live. But now that we sold the house, she suddenly decided she is moving back to Mississippi instead. I will stay in Vegas. Not sure yet what I'm going to do. Less than a month to figure it out. Might stay with friends for a little while to buy some time.

The end.

fakeb,

Thanks for sharing your story/progress; it's hard for me to imagine how difficult this past year was for you. I'm glad that things are improving for you (and deservedly so, at that).

I'm glad to hear you survived 2016 and hope you find happiness and meaning in 2017 and the years to come. I couldn't begin to understand what you're going through. Someone very close to me took their life. This person had suffered many years of depression, had a gambling problem, and was in a very dark place. I miss him every day. Depression is an awful illness.

Monte,

I teared up. Thanks. I still think about when things started to get bad and you reached out to me privately. I still feel touched because for a long time, I felt like I was screaming and no one could hear me. Someone reaching out just to ask if I was okay meant more than you know.

PoW,

My condolences on your loss. Mental illness does suck. Thank you for your well wishes. 2017 should at least be K.

Low dose drugs ftw checking in. Glad to hear things are more manageable for you and I'm glad you are fighting the good fight. The world is a much better and more fun place with you in it.

Really glad you're here with us.

+1. I'm glad the meds are doing good things for you. Hang in there. You have people who care about you.

Glad you're doing ok buddy. The world is a better place with you in it