No she's okay and I have someone to take care of her if anything happens to me.

Or *because* of what I do

Sorry to read this. I don't pretend to know how you're feeling right now. I had a good friend back in the day who used to say "hey man, don't worry, it can get worse...and it probably will." He wasn't wrong. It sometimes did. But, it also has the ability to get better and usually, it eventually does.

Things have fallen apart in the past...a few times completely with total devastation...and it could happen again...the only thing I can tell you I learned from those times is that the measure is not the results...to make it through...**** man, just surviving...that's good enough.

<). Hope things start looking up soon.

Sorry to hear that fakeb. Drop me a line if you need to talk.

Hey FakeB, I hope you feel better man. I don't know you all that well but you seem like a quality guy and hate to see you in rough shape like this.

Thanks all

Cycle 3
W2d3
LBBS
X1
up to 345
X4
Up to 345

Drop sets

Red slingshot bench
X5
Up to 315
X10
275 (@7)

W3d1
LBBS
X1
Up to 345
X3
Up to 345

Drop sets

Comp bench
X1
Up to 315
X3
Up to 295 (PR?)

Drop sets

Still here.

Maybe new jobs.

Might take a job teaching writing at a college.

Been dating a girl for a while. We are very close. I agonized over whether to tell her where I'm at. She knows about the suicidal ideation but didn't know the current status. But I finally told her because I thought if anything happens, it would be less cruel for her not to blindsided.

She broke down and at first panicked. "I didn't know you had a plan." But then calmed down and went into supportive mode. She suggested I try a yoga class advertised as relieving anxiety and stress. I went last night.

The meditation and yoga was great but unfortunately too brief, because a lot of the class was taken up by guru talk and a sales pitch for an upcoming retreat to India for the low low price of $6k.

Some of the guru talk was good. Your fear is not a separate entity that you need to fight. Your fear is you. When you fight your fear, you are fighting yourself. Accept it.

A lot of it was bad. There is no point in being so afraid. So angry. So upset. Be happy! You are upset? Ask yourself what makes you happy. Treat every day like your birthday. You like champagne? Drink the whole bottle!

That pain you feel in your knee? Come take our Reiki course and learn how to heal yourself and your loved ones with the power of touch. You will be able to do this after the first class. Because as you know, every ailment, physical, mental, or otherwise, is caused by an unresolved internal struggle on the path to enlightenment.

And by the way, we will be visiting many holy sites in India. Do not miss this opportunity. Think of how much karma you can burn through on this trip.

I strongly suspect the instructor is actually a guy from Jersey faking an Indian accent to fit the mold.

Hahaha great post. Glad you did at least get some things out of it and I'm impressed by you trying out new things that may seem pointless from a distance. Keep doing that!

Are they talking about the KPJAYI Pattabhi Jois Ashtanga retreat in Mysore? My girlfriend is going there soon, it costs literally $350 for the entire month and everything else but the flight is extremely cheap. It's India ffs, $6k????

Have you ever watched this? It had me in tears several times, very moving.

Depression, the secret we share

thanks for the video, quite insightful

I also like this one

Lol I just watched Kumare and now get the reference.

I do want to say this:

As with all religions in the world, the people in his documentary were staring themselves blind at the message and the words. His hocus pocus language as you will. They listen to him and perceive his teaching to be the truth and the light, and occupy their minds with whatever it is he is saying. Religions are spiritual teachings, they can be used to achieve enlightenment, presence, peace, whatever you want to call it. But all the words are merely pointers, in different languages, but all pointing to the same thing. Yet people tend to miss this completely, and keep trying to understand on a conceptual level the pointers and the signposts, and then start arguing over this teaching is right and the other is wrong... and our God is the only God and yours is not.

The ending was especially funny because at the unveiling you see people storming out of the room, which just shows how much they worship the messenger and attach their egos to it strongly.

In Thailand, I've spoken to two "real" Buddhist Monks inside temples, and asked them if the Buddha teaches letting go of desire to end all suffering, then why do all the temples desire to not put tattoos of the Buddha on your body? They said it is disrespectful, which makes no sense at all for a true Buddha, since this is nothing more than judgement. A desire to change the things as they are, in stead of letting it be. So even they didn't get it. Anyone can be a Buddhist, but not many of them are a Buddha.

It's not because a person is leading the way, that he knows how to get there. That doesn't mean that the teaching does not work.

One very silly thing though was that near the end Vikram was acting entirely like a motivational speaker and lifting people up through saying they are more special than they realize, and that they can do X and Y to achieve the things they want in their life. This can make them feel good, but it's unlikely this message would ever lead someone to enlightenment. He ended up teaching self-improvement. It's just because he was not spiritually awakened himself that he did not know where to lead his messages to.

define enlightenment

define spiritually awakened

distinguish self-improvement from spiritual instruction

W3D2
HBBS
up to 225

LBBS
x7
up to 295
no drop sets

Close grip bench
x1
up to 295 (PR)
x6
up to 245

185x15

wide grip pull ups

You can try to define enlightenment but it's not going to help anyone, "the tao that can be named is not the eternal tao". You can read 1000 pages of definitions and poems and scientific explanations about orgasms but you'll only truly understand it once you actually had one. It's an experience.

Self-improvement is being here and wanting to get there. Spiritual instruction is being.

All these things make no sense on an intellectual level, they are not meant to be explained and words are inadequate to do so. Hence why spiritual teachings are misunderstood for the words they contain instead of the "thing" they point to, they are the stories and definitions that are supposed to help people experience enlightenment... if those already can't do it, then surely some random dude on a message board can't do it either.

Thanks

wat

+1



I'm rooting for you FB. Hang in there buddy.

Thank you

Cycle 3
W3d3

LBBS
X5
Up to 330
X10
275

3 ct bench
X1 up to 285
X2
Up to 275

W4D3

LBBS
X5
Up to 325
X10
275

Comp bench
X1
Up to 315
Added red slingshot
X1
Up to 355 (PR)
X4
Up to 315

Those days where you bench more than you squat smh

Nice PR!

Thanks. Thought I'd go to 365 based on progression. 335 felt like nothing. But 355 was like a house coming out of the rack.

Ship it. That's some non elf weight right there

You keep separate PRs for different slingshots?

If they do something different then it would the same difference as single ply vs multiply geared lifting.

In fact that's the word used to describe how the MadDog differs - double ply.