My brain and my friends try to keep me away from you. At the same time I feel like the universe is pulling me toward you. It makes me think about the long conversations on the longer dirt roads. The metronomic like beats of the hospital machines when all I could do was hold your hand and pray. The month like lifetime in the ICU with your dad. The warm sand, your long legs, and the crashing of the waves on the beach. Amber was right, you are like heroin to me. I already ruined my life once for you, why would I stop chasing the dragon now ?