At least you logged. The grilled cheese sounds incredible and worth the calories but not that fast food crap.

Onward!

1.5L of chuck.

Thanks ladies.

05/20 4030

Being hungry is part of losing weight. Don't listen to the crazy talk about not being hungry.

Ya, I experienced that when I went from 280 to 163.

Like I've said, I don't mind hunger and know that's a prerequisite for results of note that have any degree of immediacy.

I always think of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer and the guy from the dealership drive the car on E for as long as they can. I get that way between meals, starts to be a test of will and capability.

05/20 4030 (1230)

05/21 3413 (2073)

05/22 1780

Alcohol can be a real killer with weight loss. I find if I've had a big night drinking I'm always wanting fatty foods the next day. Chicken and chips or a breakfast fry up are my go to hangover meals. Oh or maybe a curry but I love curry anyway, so any excuse for curry!

Big thing is not to let it derail me for multiple weeks before i get back on the horse.

Back on today, tomorrow will be even better because I felt like trash today.

Very true. I like a drink as much as anyone. I wasn't having a go or anything, personally I think it's very hard to abstain from things you really like for extended periods of time. I always thought it was a bit harsh when Mlylt got slated for having 1 SBC per week when she was hitting her targets. As you said as long as you don't get derailed you're good to go.

Curry is prbly the one thing that's huge internationally and just doesn't get a lot of play in the States.

That's less true in large cities but it still hasn't pierced into the ethos of America like Italian, Mexican, and Chinese. I know it's largely an issue of demographics and that Indians don't have the tie-in like they used to under the crown or whatever.

In my area (Pacific NW) offerings like gyros are much more present. We've got an Argentinian drive thru and multiple Thai places, but no Indian that I'm aware of. Couple of Basque restaurants and so on.

Apparently there's a few in Boise.

Yup.

I like all those cuisines. Gyros used to be my go to after a night out.

So had something of a mental breakdown earlier this week.

I was going to abandon 2+2 in it's entirety and just lurk; but I want to be a part of this specific community. My issues have tied into my addictive personality as I believe I've outlined above (I'm not rereading it bc I believe it may be detrimental to my current state of mind), basically I've been depressed for a long period of time without accepting that fact.

So we start anew. What other options do we have? Lamenting about the past is a fool's errand. On the other hand, self-reflection is literally a different story.

I digress. Years back I used food as a form of escapism. My metaphorical prayers were answered and the physician healed thyself. Unfortunately when another extremely long duration of depression hit, that addiction was replaced by alcohol. I don't even like alcohol, nor being drunk ftmp. It was escapism. I became neurotic about filling any time available with whatever form of "fun" I could, while still being a functioning ****up.

Well, this time I'm yet again ready for the path in front of me. This will serve as my all purpose log but ftmp I know what was my issue and it has been remedied, it was a two-pronged environmental attack and I'm no longer in either situation.

As a result, I'm filing my addiction-filled-ability-tree with only good things. These virtues are formed in man by his doing the actions and the like.

High this year has been ~272, high ever was prbly ~290. Highest ever weighed on scale was 282. Got down to 163 from playing a ton of basketball, intermittent fasting, portion control, and periodic binging after backsliding. This go around I'll be fasting, playing basketball, and lifting with the help of this thread.

Read SS, I know.

Was 259.2 on Monday (been hovering between there and 265 for couple months) and 250.2 this morning.

I feel like the scales have fallen from my eyes. I'm looking around and the world is just different. I'm clearheaded again.

Aside: When hunger is a constant, you're never hungry.

There will be many food pictures in this thread. I love to cook and it makes cutting so easy when you can control every ingredient and make it delicious.

For the past stretch of time I've cooked up a storm, I just don't eat it. I drink my dinner and feed others.

Dodger,

Well done on not giving up. I've had very similar urges to just slide into the background and lurk when I've been feeling really low. Personally I think heavy drinking can make depression and anxiety worse. At least that's been the case for me after a big night. Are you going to try support groups or is that sort of thing not for you?

You come across as a decent person and I'm definitely rooting for you.

I've found love with the nicest person ever (together nearly 2 years) and quit my bull**** job (I've had forever) Monday.

I'm back to me.

My issues are because of this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoida...ality_disorder

A support group may be beneficial, but I've already worked through my issues. I legitimately worked in a horrible environment (they coerced employees into breaking banking laws, and now blame the employees for the ensuing scandal), and then I took care of my widowed mother who is bipolar for 9 years.

I'm special, my very small family was nothing but *******s who would take out all of their issues on me. I'm good. I'm me and I'm back to embracing it in all facets.

Well I don't know what to say in regards to families. Very tricky trying to navigate your way through life if you have toxic people around you. Having clear boundaries is a good start but certainly easier said than done. I have a lot of respect for you caring for your mother. I don't think anyone really realises how demanding it can be unless they have done it themselves. Doing it for 9 years is a herculean effort imo.

Thanks Rexx.

04/06 1120

Dodger....I feel ya man

I'm so happy for you that you found love

The scales falling from your eyes is a spot on analogy of what it's like when you start see things for how they really are ......weight, mental state, ect.

Focus on being happy everyday, focus on your weight loss everyday..... just one day at a time. I'm so excited for you to lose weight and get out of your depression.

You should have a great couple of months coming up with getting your son for the summer. How old is he? Do y'all have any special trips planned? What are you doing for work now?

04/07 249.6 (I weigh myself in the morning)

Focusing on being happy everyday is largely what got me in this bind (also a coping mechanism that was prbly needed at the time). I need to make the decisions that will make me happy in the long run.

I'm now a domestic operations coordinator. Good work if you can find it.