***APRIL BRO CONTENT*** - Page 60 - Health and Fitness Forum

Would be a hilarious troll (like the guy in Trainspotting who lied on his resume and showed up for the interview on speed).

Have a perfectly normal resume, then include 1-2 totally random things (powerlifting total, you're not quite sure Nebraska is a real place, you keep several pounds of silver laying around the house just in case, you're kinda jealous of a buddy bodyguarding Chinese crimlords).

04-12-2013 , 12:59 PM

#1479

The Yugoslavian

STTF HUC II Winner

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 25,102

BP - I like the idea of having an "all H&F" resume where we just put all of our random things we're known for on it pretending it's one person. No real skills, just all H&F brag skills.

Like the things you mentioned plus so much more. Snitch's access to the "relaxation zone" - SM's nomzie expertise, Lat City, etc. etc.

04-12-2013 , 01:00 PM

#1480

Doug Funnie II

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 7,442

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Well I just got home and found my place ransacked.

Stolen:

my old computer (this is already a nightmare to figure out what they have access to, they drained most of the 800 I had in my checking account)

around 500 dollars in money that I collect for their serial numbers

Go pro and other underwater camera

tool set

Sucks man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Having said that, there were some things stashed around that they did not find and and it could have been WAY WAY WAY worse

Like all the Johnny Walker Green.

04-12-2013 , 01:23 PM

#1481

Montecore

RPElf = +EV

Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 82,273

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan

I tried cutting it further, seems tough. At the moment just have personal info, couple of jobs, couple of degrees, short publications list, short description of skills and couple of references.

Customising for each one as much as possible.

I assumed you just had a business card that said "Aidan, Fly Pimp" and maybe listed your squat 1RM.

04-12-2013 , 01:26 PM

#1482

Aidan

Kroenke Out

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 24,320

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtown

Aidan is a phrenologist iirc. Not sure if academic focused or practical/applied phrenology.

you only say that because you have the cranial slopage of a chimpanzee

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtown

Aidan,
Personal info: remove
amp is correct: References: remove

Quantify statements/achievements as much as possible. Generic accomplishments suck. Specificity delivers the jube imo.

Personal info is just my contact information. Unnecessary?

Pretty much everyone around has recommended leaving the references in, but I dunno. CV/resume recommendations seem to vary a hell of a lot for scientists.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Country Roads

how the hell do you have a two page cv <55 years of age?

13 point font and double line spacing ldo

04-12-2013 , 01:27 PM

#1483

Aidan

Kroenke Out

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 24,320

Quote:

Originally Posted by Montecore

I assumed you just had a business card that said "Aidan, Fly Pimp" and maybe listed your squat 1RM.

The fly bitches do that sort of work for me.

04-12-2013 , 01:32 PM

#1484

RustyBrooks

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 24,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by Country Roads

how the hell do you have a two page cv <55 years of age?

What? I'm 35 and since college I've had 6 different jobs, and I had 2 real jobs while in college (i.e. professional jobs in my field)

My resume is maybe a bit more wordy than some but I just checked and at a reasonable font it comes out to 3.5 pages.

04-12-2013 , 01:34 PM

#1485

crashjr

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,922

I don't go around submitting CVs. People just hire me. My cousin is the reigning middle weight ni-jitsu world champion who waits around for people to not hire family members.

04-12-2013 , 02:18 PM

#1486

Doug Funnie II

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 7,442

Quote:

Originally Posted by Country Roads

Spoiler:

Leilani Dowding, IMO.

04-12-2013 , 02:27 PM

#1487

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan

lol yes phone number, address and E-mail are fine, obv. I would advise against using a boring-sounding E-mail address though. You want to catch the eye of whoever is reviewing your resume. Something like YOLO_69_Swag_420@aol.com is nice.

04-12-2013 , 02:29 PM

#1488

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyBrooks

If only there were some meme about time and something something got time for that . Oh well. There's not. Therefore a 3.5 page resume is totally reasonable and certainly anyone interested in hiring you will be carefully reading all those details.

04-12-2013 , 02:30 PM

#1489

Montecore

RPElf = +EV

Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 82,273

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtown

Spoiler:

04-12-2013 , 02:35 PM

#1490

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Aidan,
Great news, friend. I checked and the #1 recommended E-mail address itt is still available.

04-12-2013 , 02:35 PM

#1491

RustyBrooks

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 24,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by Country Roads

how the hell do you have a two page cv <55 years of age?

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtown

If anything I am usually asked to resubmit the resume with more information. FWIW I have been offered a position for every job I ever applied for.

04-12-2013 , 02:37 PM

#1492

kidcolin

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 109,071

BEWARE OF FALLING ICE

god what a ****hole

04-12-2013 , 02:44 PM

#1493

Aidan

Kroenke Out

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 24,320

You are in the UK though, right Rusty? My reading says there seems to be a fair few differences in expectations between the UK (and NZ where Im from) and USA#1 with regards to CV/resumes

04-12-2013 , 02:44 PM

#1494

Aidan

Kroenke Out

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 24,320

Maybe KC goes on holiday to have the worst time possible?

04-12-2013 , 02:48 PM

#1495

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyBrooks

If anything I am usually asked to resubmit the resume with more relevant information and not a ****ing book. FWIW I have been offered a position for every job I ever applied for.

fyp.

I don't see how the latter point is relevant. I am just saying a resume is to get you in the door, so make it brief and relevant and so someone wants to actually read it. Might not apply to a superstar (maybe you're a superstar, idk, possible), but otherwise tl;dr is a thing. Many people just need to get themselves in the door, and for ~80%+ of the population a 3.5 page resume is not doing them any favors.

04-12-2013 , 02:48 PM

#1496

RustyBrooks

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 24,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan

You are in the UK though, right Rusty? My reading says there seems to be a fair few differences in expectations between the UK (and NZ where Im from) and USA#1 with regards to CV/resumes

Nope, USA#1. I've done interviewing here for several companies also, and in the tech fields it seems totally normal for resumes to be many many pages, I've seen some that are 10+ probably. Companies typically want to know exactly what you did at your jobs because job titles are relatively meaningless and not interchangable.

I've never in my life seen a 1 page resume

04-12-2013 , 02:50 PM

#1497

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan

Maybe KC goes on holiday to have the worst time possible?

04-12-2013 , 02:51 PM

#1498

skeletor121

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,992

Quote:

Originally Posted by crashjr

I don't go around submitting CVs. People just hire me. My cousin is the reigning middle weight ni-jitsu world champion who waits around for people to not hire family members.

Pretty weak usage of that one, IMO.

JF: That sucks. Hope it doesn't lead to full blown identity theft.

04-12-2013 , 02:51 PM

#1499

RustyBrooks

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 24,647

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtown

The latter point is relevant because if my resume was tl;dr based on length alone I wouldn't even be getting interviewed. The requests I get for more information tend to me "tell me everything about what you did at all your jobs plus all the things you know how to do".

Experiences vary, of course - the types of places I apply are usually small enough that they don't have Binders of Resumes to go through, and my skill set is reasonably unique and I'm typically applying places where I know it'll fit, to places that I know will need someone like me.

04-12-2013 , 02:56 PM

#1500

downtown

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,446

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustyBrooks

Again, maybe you are getting jobs in spite of your book resume bc you are talented, applying to the right places, etc.

You are making my point. All that **** is of course relevant and detail is relevant. Employers following up for more info is standard.

Telling someone to put all that info of assuming you should have had all that info on a resume is lol. Putting all the info from every jube you ever had on a resume is lol. Maybe you are just bad at writing or summarizing. It's ok, lots of tech-oriented people are. (e.g. I am bad at writing. It's ok. I make up for it by trollin.)

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