The discussion on Enter the Void in the movie thread got me thinking this might be an interesting thread of its own...

What film is the most god-awful, wretched piece of crap you have ever seen? Not just a bad movie. Not just a horrible movie...but the film that you can't stand above all others. The one that stands for everything against which you hold dear.

There a few films in these forums that I have claimed to be very bad, or that anger me: The Usual Suspects, Titanic, Hostel, Once Upon A Time in America, Transformers 2, Flashdance, the Saw franchise, Slumdog Millionaires...I have railed against these movies from time to time, and yes, I do truly hate them all.

However, I do still see some semblance of worth in all of them; I can see why some people enjoy these films and can understand why some might even love them. Heck, I can even look at a few of them objectively and see some great film making in spite of my own personal hatred. There is still some worth there.

But that's what makes the hate all the more intriguing - it's easy to dislike, hate or make fun of a completely worthless and inept film. We don't want to shoot fish in a barrel here; we want to eviscerate other's ignorant and tasteless belief that certain films are actually, well, good.

Hating a film others like or even love takes a certain film snobbery and arrogance. This is what we want here. Hating on a film that others love.

For me, there is one film above all others I hold in utter contempt. One film I believe to be the biggest turd that has been foisted upon the movie-going public yet is still inexplicably liked - even loved by some. That film:



The Crow, 1994 Alex Proyas

I was in film school when this came out and a fellow classmate and I went to see it in the theater, so I've seen it where it's supposed to be viewed - on the big screen.

After five minutes of the most torturous, mind-numbingly, inept and boring filmmaking I was ready to leave, but I stayed for the whole crapfest as my friend wanted to see it.

This is a film where the action sequences are so badly choreographed and confusingly staged, that the viewer has no idea what is happening at any given moment.

The director decides to move his camera continuously in a haphazard mess from the very beginning - making the "shaky-cam" of later years look tame in comparison. I can remember watching in disbelief as a simple conversation in an office between two characters become incomprehensible due to the non-stop camera movement. Lock that ****er down just ONE GODDAMNED TIME, Proyas, so I can see what the hell is going on.

Let's talk about our hero - the titular Crow. He's supposed to be some dark avenging angel, but what he comes across as is simply a death-loving, sadistic killer who is no better than the scum he kills. It's disgusting. The meaning behind such a character is both disturbing and pointless.

But hell, be dark, I don't care, that's your right. But if you bore me while doing it, then **** you. The script is so laughably bad and without drama or interesting characters that you begin to wonder if a child who had read one or two Batman comics had written this.

Add to that a drab, amateurish production design, acting that is all over the place, and no thematic unity at all in the mise en scene, and you have a mess of a film. So horribly bad I thought it would rightly be considered with other horrible films like Howard the Duck and Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Amazingly, however, people actually like this movie. they think it's cool. they think it's badass. Seriously, this movie makes the Resident Evil franchise look like The Godfather, but I guarantee you that within 5 posts in this thread someone will come to defend it.

It's a horrible, amazingly bad movie. It fails on every level. Even as torture porn. Bad, bad, bad beyond belief. And I haven't even mentioned that its star was killed on set while making it.

The Crow is my most hatred movie of all time.

I don't know if there are any good movies that I truly loathe. I just assume they aren't my flavor.

Like, I am not a big sci-fi fan, and for years people would tell me how great The Matrix was and so finally I caved and tried to watch it one night and fell asleep about a half-hour in. I just don't really care for futuristic sci-fi, SORRY PEOPLE. I also don't care for Lord of the Rings type movies. That they are 3 hours long makes them even more excrutiating. I fell asleep in the theater during that first movie.

But the worst overall movie I've probably ever seen was Date Movie.

I'll go with Caddyshack--just to piss people off a bit. Although it does have Rodney, it also has Bill Murray as a drooling fool and Chevy Chase as an idiot. It makes me crazy that people view this as comedy genius.

I'm not asking for the worst movie you've ever seen, I'm asking for the one one movie you hate the most.

hahahaha...while I don't fool myself into thinking it's great film, it is damn funny. I'd love to hear why you dislike it so much.

THE CROW RULEZ!!! j/k ;-)

500 Days of Summer - emo crapfest. Nothing not derivative.
Sideways - Why the hell do people like THAT?! It's been a few years and I've tried to block out the hurtful memories but, seriously, that guy from Wings? Was he/it supposed to be funny? I just kept waiting for it to be amazing.
The Darjeeling Limited - again I think it was supposed to be funny, yet I didn't laugh much. I remember Owen Wilson called some drowning Indian children a-holes and I sorta chuckled but that was it. I'm not intellectual enough?
The Deer Hunter - for the sentimental, patriotic, racist crowd imo.

That's enough for now, I guess. I'm full of hatred though, I'm sure I'll think of more.

Million Dollar Baby


**** that ****ing piece of crap. Tremendous acting and filmmaking went into setting us up to feel like utter ****.

First 3/4 was one of the greatest sports movies ever made, last 1/4 betrayed the audience completely.




Gah, just thinking about this movie makes me so ****ing angry

Antichrist, Dancer in the Dark, and The Idiots are all hateworthy but not worthy of words.

Dominic, can you link to a post where you explain everything you dislike about Slumdog or write a quick cliffs? Just interested to read it.

For me, it's The Big Lebowski. Sorry, I'm aware everyone else loves it, but I just found it so dull, annoying and pointless I could barely make it through.

Edit: +1 to Antichrist as well

The Boondock ****ing saints, by a mile. Scratch that, Righteous Kill is close if you factor in past talent (Pacino/De Niro). I haven't seen The Crow.

Scent of a Woman - the most inane movie ever. Chris ODonnell wandering around with the same pathetic whiny look on this face for the ENTIRE movie and Pacino almost ruining a GOAT acting career with overacted tripe that included a tagline that had me wanting to smash his face in repeatedly. (I won't even repeat it) Blows my mind that anyone can take it for more than 30 secs.


Right there with you on The Crow though. The premovie buzz on this was off the charts and all my friends were raving about it and for some unknown reason kept raving about it after they saw it... For me to hate a movie of this ilk back then was hard enough but by the end of this I was just mad. Shotgun size holes everywhere. Again a movie that some people take seriously.

for now i have to say Bella Tarr's Satantango. Right of the bat i was pretty confused with what was going on. A lot of very slick visuals, but the story just seemed nonexistent. I waited and waited for this movie to add up to something, at times it looked really promising too; but no, the entire 7.5 hours were in vain. After that, I am far less liberal with the time that i devote to movies that i'm not getting.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape. Some people liked it but I thought it was a pretentious piece of ****.

Second would be Flatliners.

The Last Airbender, any fan of the original series will probably agree with me.

Hard Candy

The whole movie was just ridiculous and completely unbelievable and it had probably the stupidest ending I've ever seen in a movie.

I bought it from a garage sale, and when it was over, I used the disc as a frisbee - I hated it that much.

Of mentioned so far, I love all of:

Lebowski, The Idiots, Antichrist, Sex Lies and Videotape + I guess to a lesser extent Sideways as well and I thought that guy from Wings just happened to be brilliant!

Feel indifferent to the likes of:

Deer Hunter, Dancer in the Dark and Darjeeng too for that matter.

And can strongly identify with any hate for The Matrix and The Crow.

The movie that's annoyed me the most ever in all its ridiculousness was probably G.I Jane but I have a feeling that's not too unusual.

For my "Bella Tarr/Satantango moment" I would nominate watching in succession Greenaway's Prospero's Books and Baby of Macon.

What comes most to my mind though, the shock of it all alone, has to be Raiders of the Lost Ark that I re-watched not too long ago for the first time in years.

I remember loving it as as kid and it seems everyone (adults too) think its a great movie and its overall legacy seems to have kept building. In other words, I was really looking forward to seeing it again...

Well I ended up hating it completely apart for some good parts in the beginning. The story, the acting, the action, everything was just terrible. Too stupid in too many ways and now what I associate it with, rather than great childhood memories, is a prime candidate for most overrated movie of all time.

Inglourious Basterds is another recent one I could mention though for the time being it remains more in indifferent territory than outright hate.

Waiting for someone to mention a film I don't like

Deer Hunter is most certainly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I really don't get it. The bar scene is the most shameless product placement I have ever seen, and then Bobby D is playing Russian Roulette the very next scene. I asked my friend who was watching with me if a piece of the movie was missing. Apparently it isn't. ****ing joke of a movie. Why would this win an Oscar and still be considered a must see? Because basic story-telling, compelling characters, and proper juxtaposition is outlawed in movie land. Yeah, that's it.

But:



My biggest hate is Scarface. I don't know where to start. The acting and cinematography is bad enough, but for a gangster film, the "violence" is laughable. Did I mention this thing is 3 hours long? **** you.

Right there with you...I knew I was in trouble when Dom led with The Crow...a movie in my top five of all time.

F*** this piece of s*** movie. I was in high school and EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOM loved this thing. Why? Why???????????? Everyone wearing their stupid Vote For Pedro shirts the next 3 years, and that m************ luckboxed his way to a movie career, starring in several several awful movies afterwards that I knew I'd see eventually despite it (Benchwarmers, School for Scoundrels, Blades of Glory). Ugh. It's like a s*** that took a s*** and everyone wants to pet it. F***.



Two reasons why I hate this piece of crap:

1) I took a girl to see it Friday night and I wanted to go the horror route. Paid the crazy $ for tickets, movie snacks, gas. Turns out to be a total clunker. Not even funny. Just awkward and confusing. Oh yeah and Marc Wahlberg can't act if he's trying to be a family man (although in Max Payne he did a decent job, though his family is dead so idk if that counts). Anyways the first date pretty much ended after that, that movie was the epitome of turn-off with no saving grace or ulterior motive for me to wield. F*** you Marky Mark, you can't just make Bambi eyes and speak to someone as if they were 6 years old and think you're a good actor. Stick to shoot 'em ups where you're not married and perhaps doing hard drugs.


2) I loved 6th Sense, I loved Signs. Meh on Village, meh on Unbreakable, Lady in the Water was awful. I was sooooo rooting for it to be a kickass movie so M. Knight could deliver another solid movie. Dead wrong. I will never watch another M. Knight again, I simply can't trust him.



Why is fast food so bad? Yeah yeah I know it's unhealthy, but so are cigarettes and booze? I'm so tired of people blaming the product or business when it should be the individual and the parents who use discretion and moderation. Perhaps fast food is actually perfectly normal, and you don't have to eat 90 mcdonalds meals a day to make whatever the point was.

BTW I actually got really hungry while I was watching it and had ice cream iirc. If I had a drivers license at the time I would have probably gotten McDonalds to watch it. All the shots of the burgers and fries made me hungry.

Oh yeah and he threw up eating his first burger. What a pansy. Either that or he wanted to play to the camera. Or both. In any event, f*** that guy, fast food is wonderful and I won't have anyone trying to give it a bad name. If you don't like it stick with your tofu and prunejuice, and leave my motherf****ng quarter pounder alone


/ rant

wow that felt great. nice thread.

oh wow i forgot about The Happening, not even Lars Von Trier makes movies that bad.

true story. the whole audience booed when the end credits began to roll, and it was opening night. what a spoiled friday the 13th that one was

Easy Rider. Boring as hell, I didn't like the dialogue, nothing seemed to ever happen. The only redeeming feature was the soundtrack.
Runner up-My Own Private Idaho-much less of a famous movie everybody knows, but regardless, terrible and unwatchable for me.

I love the thread idea though. I guess I find it somewhat baffling that someone could hate The Matrix, Million Dollar Baby, or heaven forbid, Raiders of the Lost Ark. But this is definitely the thread to air your complaints. I promise not to judge anybody though, I'm just curious.

I think how a movie affects us can even be tied into our mood when we see it. If you're in a goofy or silly mood, a comedy might be just that much funnier. Sometimes there's the sense of expectation as well. My friends all hyped up the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, which I found to be pretty meh, and the sequels were all even worse.

Inception

Such a pointless exercise. Gets me mad that the majority of the world thinks its the best thing since sliced bread. Its not!