Quote:
Originally Posted by Colombo
So I've been regularly hooking up with this girl over the past 3 weeks (pretty much every weekend night, and 1 or 2 random weekdays). However it has gotten to the point where mutual friends of ours are taking notice and wondering just how serious we're getting. I like hanging out with this chick, but I absolutely do not want to be in an exclusive relationship with her (or anyone, for that matter). From things I've heard about her, I thought that she was in the same boat. However yesterday she started texting me small talk like "How was work?" etc. Does this probably mean that I'm starting to tread dangerous waters?
I'm torn between bringing this issue up to clarify things or just continuing what I have going unless she brings it up, at which point I can tell her that I'm not interested in having a gf. My #1 goal is to not make things awkward since even if I stop hooking up with this girl, I will probably run into her at alot of parties, etc. What do you do in my shoes? If you decide to talk to her about the status of our relationship, how would you initiate this conversation?
However yesterday she started texting me small talk like "How was work?" etc. Does this probably mean that I'm starting to tread dangerous waters?
yes.
Two ways to handle it, pro-active or re-active. It really depends on the personality of the girl, if she is level headed, and not an overly emotional clingy type, just let her bring it up later on down the road, and explain to her that you have only been with her for the last few weeks, and they are great etc, you enjoy her company, but are not ready to take it to the next level. Then tell her, that maybe you guys should cut back on the physical aspect of the relationship and just be friends, but actually be friends with her. Hangout (although with much less frequency), encourage her to date etc.
this way you can always go back and bang her in a couple months, after you have cut off most of your contact, other than once every couple weeks. This is the best way to establish a bunch of friends with benefits that are "on call".
if she is emotionally clingy etc, bring it up now before it goes any further and she gets too much more into the relationship, tell her that you aren't ready for a relationship, and you do want to be friends etc ("I just got out of a really tough breakup and she messed my head up, and I dont want to do hurt anyone, I have enough experirnce to realize it is heading that way, so Im just being honest with you now" is my favorite excuse). And than cut the contact off pretty much, except for maybe a lunch out or something the week after.