Brownian,

If you want her to lose weight I'd suggest emphasis on diet rather than working out. If you guys cook together, get in the habit of making a big salad with each meal. Have her take leftovers to work rather than eat out. Find low calorie foods that she likes and keep them around. Etc.

It sound like you already did the subtle approach, and where successful enough she wanted a workout and diet plan. Yet she decides 30min/day is just too much time to find? As I am sure you know, people only work out regularly if they make it a priority. Something else needs to give up 30 mins, cause the one thing you are doing for sure is hitting the gym. You might just try telling her about shifting her priorities?

You can frame it as health and fitness is a big part of my life, and I want you to be healthy too. I am not going to let you fall into the trap so many people fall into by letting work take over and they don't take care of their body. You mean too much to me to watch that happen.

Other approaches that most likely fall into our definition of "douche:"

I have a friend who told his girl "I don't date girls who are out of shape." I would hear phone conversations "no, you can't come over until you go the gym for the day." But they been together for years now, she lost ~35 lbs and they both workout regularly.

Another was trying to get his girl to drop the after baby weight. He told her she gets a X$ shopping spree for new clothes when she hits her target weight.

These are obviously super direct. But if it comes down to you are unhappy and break up wit her instead of addressing the issues head on, you really dropped the ball.

I've been sleeping with this girl on and off for like 6 months (we each had a GF/BF the last 4 months, but recently hooked back up). I enjoy being around her, even aside from the sex...but am not particularly interested in a committed relationship. Is it best to leave this implied, or to talk about it next time we go to dinner or whatever?

Wait till she brings it up.


ETA: This is a premier example of where you should consider the consequences. What are the best/worst/median outcomes... Its doubtful anything really productive comes from this other than an explicit confirmation of an implied agreement. Worst case involves hurting her feelings and losing your ass buddy. The benefit of the former is rather minimal, while the downside of the latter is pretty huge. While it may gnaw at you and make you feel anxious. It doesn't benefit anyone to have this sort of talk prematurely. As Henry alludes to below, you'll likely know when she wants to discuss this issue.

Is there any reason you think she wants a committed relationship? You might be concerned about nothing.

If she is interested in moving this to a relationship she'll start doing stuff to signal that and then you just counter with clear signals that it isn't what you are looking for.

Tonight I'm at Chipotle (a Mexican fast food place, but more on the level of like a Panera bread fast food as opposed to Taco Bell), where I failed to open a set by inviting cute girl behind me in line to sit at my table.

Is this even an option? I go there 3 times a week (right next to my gym, go there after I work out), and am thinking of just approaching girls who are sitting alone and asking if they mind if I join them in some way, such as

"you deep in thought or mind if i sit here?" (in a joking way regarding the deep in thought), or "waiting for someone?"

i dunno, it sounds creepy when i type it out but i imagine that if i try to pull it off a few times it will be a good confidence builder

What you are thinking of doing sounds like it would come off as creepy. That just is not the correct environment to meet girls.

how creepy it looks to her is inversely related to how attractive she thinks he is.

and as always - if things get awkward, just pay for her burrito.

I think the only time you can do this is when there're no free tables

this is one thing I will give to the bane of society, text messaging, it cuts down on a lot of BS. Just write your number on a napkin, as you are leaving, go up to her, give her the napkin, and tell her you are in a hurry, but if she would like to go out sometime, to text you her number and than take off. its non-intrusive, quick, and you are pretty much initiating everything as all she has to do is text you. This also leads to a ton of drunken booty calls, as 99% of the time, she will end up just texting you drunk telling you to meet up with her.

yeah never do that, just eat your burrito

Simply open with, "I know something that will change your life," standard PUA. Then, when she bites, tell her about Chipotlaway.

99% seems slightly optimistic here.

Or have I been totally missing out on the Chipotle napkin lays.

I think he means "99% of the time you get a text".

This. Sure seems way creepier than just chatting up the girl why you both eating.

I know Chipotle has bar style seating. If I were to try to meet a girl there, I would look for targets around the stools as opposed to the booths.

Bar style seating would make it a lot more acceptable.

Is it normal to float through relationships without talking about what you're looking for with the person? I think i'm on one extreme, because i like definition, and feel like this is kicking my ass sometimes because its seen as pushy.

what success rate do you get with this?

ETA- and as far as opening a girl in chiptle and not seeming creepy you can make it very situational and innocent, like asking the time, or about some food on the menu, and gauge her interest from there.

sayid giving advice on hitting on girls scares me

this worked very well for me in DC (metro, coffee shops etc.):

- you dont want to sit and have lunch w/ the girl. fail.
- you want to go up to her as you're leaving or as she's leaving and say something like "hi, i'm sorry but i just had to come over and introduce myself, im' barron. whats your name" (GOAL: short interaction, show you're a confident, great catch, leave her wanting more, get her #)
- if she looks you in the eye, smiles, and shakes your'e hand you're in.
- if she hesitates and needs 'calming' down you're like 1/2 in
- if she's obv disinterested/uninterested easy exit

first one is easy. keep it short, u live around here? work? stuff for fun? oh cool, hey lemme get you're number as i'd love to take you out sometime (said as statement). done.

second one is a bit trickier, may need some sidestepping jokes, way lower success rate but still good. "yea i know totally random right but i just moved here/live around here etc. and haven't met many new people so i thought i'd say hi. [segue into convo about her in some way. work. school. hobbies etc.]"

if you get the # its very good shot at first date and then its up to you.

AGAIN: DO NOT TRY TO HAVE SOME LONG HANGOUT TIME UPON FIRST MEETING. this is a failtrail. short, confident, # getting interactions are your best bet imo. after doing this a few times you'll know from the handshake if you're in or not and can just release immediately if you dont feel it.

you'll also get some really creative shut downs (i got some doozies lol...one time on the metro asked for her # as she was getting off and she said "ya know what, if i run into you again, i'll consider it fate and we'll go out"...i'm betting she was from out of town).

Barron

That seems like one of the best ways to make it really creepy.

No one just asks someone in line "so what do u think of the double chilli cheese burrito?" because they actually care what some stranger thinks about something on a fast food menu.

Creepiness is purely in whether she wants to talk to you or not. Whether the story is "I met some really cute guy at McDs and we had a great conversation." or "Some guy was super creepy at Taco Bell." is purely a matter of whether she is interested. The exact same behaviors will determine the response. (I'm 100% sure that romantic unwanted romantic gestures basically are stalking.)

And whether she'll want to talk to you depends on how much of a douche clown you sound like as much as it does what you look like.


You don't think it's extremely awkward to ask her what she thinks about something on a fast food menu while waiting in line?

I mean, some guys can probably pull it off with a self-aware smirk on their face and the right body language. But guids approach sounds superior in almost every way, including the potential for awkwardness/creepiness.

What you say in almost all circumstances is the least important piece of the puzzle.

Though this has to be one of the most ineffective ways to find random girls to bang. Though perhaps sayid has considered the perfect girls at Panera a very fruitful garden if he could just open them.

Agree 100%.

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I'm interested in how people see this fast food pick-up working?

I find it quite hard to believe that you can charm a girl over the time it takes to eat a McChicken that she should come home with you.