Throw on some music, when she comes in sit her down on your couch, chat, then get close to her, start kissing, clothes come off, sex begins. Usually there's anywhere between a 5 to 30 minutes "warm up" period of just talking and getting comfortable, before the kissing and the rest.

Holy **** this is hot. Also you won't have to decide on some ****ty movie together then sit through it waiting for the right moment to make your move.

Xaston,

The cooking was awesome enough. And now this.

Can't you share the wealth even a little?

havent read any of these threads, but i just got dumped by a girl i've dated for 5 years and was engaged to. never been dumped at any time in my life so this is the worst feeling in my life. does it get any better?

Nope, it gets worse.

Just make sure you tell her about Gabe afterwards. It might ruin the mood if you tell her beforehand.

You will get laid no matter what you do as long as you don't mess up hugely. By hugely I mean something on the order of having poop on your head.

So, I've been seeing somebody over the course of the past 3-4 weeks that I meant on OKC. We went on a couple dates, I kinda got Friend Zoned, but then we got pretty drunk together on Saturday, made out at the bar, came back to my place, made out some more, and she stayed over. She said she was on her period (may have been a buffer?), so we didn't have sex, and I was probably too drunk for it anyway.

She called me the next day and basically invited herself to sleep over because she just moved into a new apt. and didn't have a bed. Unfortunately, she had 3 hours of sleep from the night before, so after we ate, she more or less fell asleep while we watched a movie. We were pretty kissy/flirty the whole night and next morning, though.

The dilemma I have is that we are both moving out of town soon. I'll hopefully be in Vegas by June 1, which will probably be before she gets out of town. I'm curious if I should even ask what's going on with us, how far we can go (sexually speaking of course, obviously this won't become a full blown relationship), and basically establish some boundaries/guidelines or if I should just let things play out on their own accord. I'm also going to be in Vegas Wed-Fri looking at housing, so if I should say anything, do I do it when I see her tomorrow or wait until I get back?

In the long run, I think it's pretty marginal either way, but I don't want to do anything that might prevent some sexytime if that's a possibility with her.

It is hard to be certain, but I think that in your case there is much upside to making a move soon. There is negligible downside to making a move soon. Therefore, I think you should make a move soon.

Have a read of this, it might help you come into terms with the next stage of your life:

http://startingoverat24.blogspot.com/

Of course it gets better but how long that takes is really different for everyone. As long as you've come to terms with it being over it shouldn't be awful for more than 3-6 weeks. It is important to come to terms with it actually being over or else it can go on in perpetuity.

It was a 5 year relationship so I'm going to guess it didn't go from hot and great to dump overnight. So you must have seen this coming somewhat and been somewhat prepared for it.

Xaston: As already said there is no way for you to mess this up unless you do something completely insane. That being said this is a "booty call" not a relationship. If you want to keep it going you need to treat it as such.

---------

MikeyPatriot

No. Guys don't initiate what is the status of our relationship conversations. Just make a move and see what happens.

I don't know if she knows you are leaving. I figure it is something that would have come up in conversation but if it hasn't I would make sure she knew. That might hurt your chances (depending on the girl and her expectations) but it is important that she make a decision based on full information.

tsmag,

Henry is pretty spot on. I just got out of a 3 year relationship (i.e. I got dumped) and it's definitely very important that you come to grips with the situation. I also "saw it coming" which helped, but I think Henry's 3-6 weeks theory is correct as long as you don't put off coming to terms with everything.

Henry and garcia,

When you guys say "make a move", do you mean initiating something physically and trying to take it as far as I can?

I don't like the wording because I can see "take it as far as I can" being read to imply pushing things beyond what she would want if not for the aggressive behaviour.

You are already making out and sex is already implied by her excuse of being on the period. So just keep doing what you are doing and let thinks play out. It is very rare for 20-somethings to make out and for it not to lead to sex. So you just have to wait for the next opportunity.

I do think it is important that she know you are leaving because then she'll know this is sex only and not going to lead to a relationship. Most girls are fine with that but I do think it is sleazy to keep the information from her in case she sees it as relevant or so she doesn't have the wrong expectation.

Yeah, the wording is definitely not indicative of my behavior. I'm the guy that's always saying "It's fine, I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

And she knows I'm moving. I told her that by the first date.

Edit: Oh, and thanks for the advice. I don't know where your reputation of being an ******* comes from because even the few things I have disagreed with you about in this thread has still been well thought-out and articulated.

Hey guys,

Xaston,

Two things I wanted to add. First, don't be all sentimental and like "oh I hope this leads to a wonderful relationship where we can consummate our undying love while I read you my self-created poetry while riding on a white stallion and giving you flowers on bended knee"
Secondly, I would like to know how you happened into this girl. I would like to meet more girls like this.


Mikeypatriot,

"Making a move" means just do what comes naturally. For example, your mouths are locked in a passionate kiss. Now is the time for your hands to have physical contact with female erogenous zones, such as wrists, ear lobes, soles of the feet, or other locations.

lol

I met her through my friend. She met her through the "hardcore" scene. It's a terrible kind of music that a few of my friends like for some dumb reason.

I think I found a new reason to like it!

"hardcore" scene + adjective "terrible"

Does that mean that Jungle / DnB scene?

Girls enjoy sex. They want sex just as much as guys do. Girls like this are not that uncommon. As long as they feel you will not put the fact that they slept with you on the news they will come out of the woodwork.

A great read:

http://turningpro.net/houses-of-cards-pickup-artists

Until I joined 2P2 I had never heard of PUA material. I had no idea what the abbreviation stood for until v.2 of this topic. I did have a friend who use to sell a PUA manual over the internet back in university but I thought that was an odd thing. Now I find out there are entire sites and volumes of similar material. I have to agree with ArturiusX's link in that it is a waste of time and doesn't work.

Someone can convincing put on an act for a very limit amount of time. After any reasonable exposure it becomes obvious that the person is trying to put on an act. Studying PUA material in my opinion actually works against you.

Pretty sure "hardcore" in this sense = hardcore punk. Which is still a very vague definition, but whatevs.

Hardcore here used to be defined the same way as Henry suggests, but now there seems to be music closer to hard house that is calling itself that too. I have trouble imagining many girls like it though, so I can see the hesitation

Henry - Mostly agree but it seems a lot of these guys are really lacking confidence or just have no idea what they're doing.
Some of these questions of, "Do we watch the movie first or do I kiss her when she first arrives or what?" are just so bizarre to me that I have to wonder if some of the younger dudes here with perhaps less inter-personal experience [due to all that internet time, etc] really do need someone to hold their hand and tell them some ideas of, "Here's one way to go about trying to kiss a girl."

It's all just so weird to me.
I know I put people down for asking these Q's but so much of it just seems so ridiculous like some movie with an alien from another planet who has read some guidebook on how to interact and blend in with other humans but he keeps making mistakes [kind of like the old Coneheads sketches on SNL in a way].

All this, "How to talk with or flirt with the girl at the coffee place?" to "Hey, this girl really likes me and she's coming over again. How do I go about kissing her?" are things I never would have thought about asking back when I was that age either because I was pretty sure I had to go about figuring it out for myself anyway and that different situations and personalities and chemistries all involved different approaches, etc.

So I guess that's where the PUA-guide stuff is most dangerous. It mostly [I think..haven't read much of it really] assumes that all guy/girl situations are the same and thus need to be approached the same.
I mean, it's not exactly rocket-science either and so many guys shoot themselves in the foot all the time that I guess it's good to put out some rules that tell them, "stop doing that" or something.
But I still can't believe some of the Q's and posts I read on here about this stuff.

Good thread, just found it the other day. Quick question for you thoughtfull posters:

Went out on first date last night. It went well, she slept over, we "hooked up" (in the original, non-emo sense of the phrase). We text back and forth a little today. I call her and ask her to hang out tonight (bookstore which she mentioned she sometimes visits). She said she couldn't because she has to watch Grey's Anatomy and another show (Lost, can't remeber what she said).

Obv this is an excuse, but how lame is it? I know some girls are obsessed witht his show. Scale of 1-10, 1 being the worst, how bad of a brush off was this?