To be fair Dcifr posts some novels/walloftext posts yes...but he is very open to criticism and seems to be pretty self aware and take advice well. If Dcifr does something really dumb and you tell him it was ****ing ******ed, he will often agree after the fact as opposed to JWhitt who will just blame everyone but himself for his failures. IDK if that should be some sort of requirement for a containment thread but I feel like people are more likely to learn from Dcifr posts and responses than JWhitt just because of how he handles himself in the forums and how much better he takes the advice, etc.. So that is definitely a plus to this specific thread in terms of other people learning from his experiences as opposed to someone like JWhitt where its just a **** show.

LOL. true, but i've found a very nice situation here and it's going well. i doubt i'll need to ask more advice than i've asked wrt H so i'm prob good for a while.

Now that Dcifr is done, my turn!

Started talking to this girl via email last Sunday or Monday, messaged back and forth a bunch with me sending the last email on Wednesday about noon-ish. Didn't get anything back and sent her an email on Friday basically along the lines of "Been great chatting with you the last week, number is below, drop me line if you want to chat some more". She texts me a few hours later and we have been texting back and forth a bit over the weekend.

Tonight I brought up maybe getting together for coffee/ drinks on Thursday, but she works. Said I was free on Tuesday and Friday, but neither works. I assume that my play at this point is to keep chatting via text and let her bring up meeting?

Bolded part is awful.

Where did you meet this girl, online dating site I'm guessing? If you asked her to meet up on 3 different days and all she said was she isn't free and didn't offer a day when she is free then she probably isn't too interested. I wouldn't put much more effort into it.

Would probably help though if you posted at least some of your text exchance, esp the parts where you asked her to meet up and her response.

This is word for word what I sent, we had just had a bunch of crap weather the night before and the day of. Looking at it now, it isn't very good.

As for texts.

Me: I was thinking that if you were free Thursday night we could grab a coffee or drinks.

Her: I actually work Thursday nights

Me: Would Tuesday or Friday work better for you?

Her: I work on Tuesday and have an exam Saturday so Friday probably won't work

Before this we were texting back and forth about plans for the weekend and then what we did. ie. movies, helping out a friend with their car, studying, just random stuff.

fraser,

Prospects don't look great here, but she DID send some frowny faces at least! I think it's fine to text her one more time "alright, let's get a drink Saturday after your exam! What time are you done?" or something like that, and if she doesn't accept that then move on.

You need to post more details. Where did you meet this girl? Have you ever met her in person before or only online?

Regardless she seems not that interested and your conversations with her are really bad. Don't talk to girls you want to date about the weather and don't tell them to call you if they want to.

Would rather say:

Me: I ve got some free time on Thursday night lets grab a coffee or drinks.

- Dont ask her out, just take it as u own it bro.

Girls dont wanna take the lead or anything, they prefer that guys do that.

I took ElD's advice and sent her pretty much exactly what you wrote "Alright, let's grab a drink after your exam. What time are you done?"

She replied "It goes from 7-9" with nothing else.

Replied "No worries, why don't we meet up when you're not tied up with exams"

She replied "Lol, sorry about this, I'm legit available any time after next Tuesday. Exams are almost done."

So it looks like, once again, I over analyzed a situation and she is in fact busy but does want to meet up. I knew she was writing exams and apparently I didn't consider it becuase I'm an idiot.

This doesn't sound that positive to me still. It seems like she'll just make an excuse when her exams are done and was just using exams as a means to nicely have you back off at the moment.

If you don't reply to the "It goes from 7-9" where she left you no opening or expressed any interest the conversation is likely over forever. Since you responded she felt the need to respond.

Not to be the bearer of bad news but she will likely be flaking down the line and if she was totally into it she would have made time to get a drink or meet up at some point in the next few days. Girls will make a few hours, even if extremely busy, with a guy they are very interested in because they want to see him and don't want to make him forget them.

Nitpicking, but I prefer saying either coffee or drinks .. You're not taking the lead if you're giving her the option

Jwhitt gonna jwhitt

Meh, I kind of actually agree with JWhitt in this spot if it wasn't for the fact that she said

"Lol, sorry about this, I'm legit available any time after next Tuesday. Exams are almost done."

Other than that she hasn't offered any specific date and is going to again make him ask her out once Tuesday has passed. If she was very interested she would have either accepted one of his offers or countered with a date that would work for her. I think she could possibly still flake but I don't have much info about their situation. He still has never said where he met her or if he has even ever met her in person yet so I'm just guessing based solely on the texts he's posting.

he's actually right for once.

the girl might be interested enough that she'll meet up when she has nothing else going on, but she's clearly not super into it.

yea doesn't look great, but i'd still include her in a mass text next time i organized an activity

i think the "legit available" line is relatively positive. i know girls who, during exams, simply won't go out at all. no matter what.

that said, if indeed she cancels at all again it's done. like she should definitely be texting him after exams to set up a time or lock one down very soon. if not then, yes, it's as it appears, she's not all that into it (which is how it seems so i'd agree w/ you here). i just think it's possible she's just not down w/ going out during the stress of exam studying and wants to wait til they're done.

Youre taking the lead when ur telling her to go out (not asking her out), it wasnt any question. coffe or drinks doesn't matter.

This isnt nitpicking but pretty straight forward i u want to succeed.

looks pretty negative to me, thats no reason not to keep at it though, unless she's some strong part of your social circle. My bet is she's gonna flake, but not enough info given

Fraser,

Despite the fact that it looks like this isn't that hopeful my suggestion would be waiting til the following Monday(6 days after her exams) to ask her out. I normally don't think things like this are overly important but in a situation where she doesn't seem super interested anyway, is reasonably likely to have plans with her friends on one or both weekend nights, and is the 3rd time you are now asking this girl out...I think asking her on Monday for drinks on Tuesday works best. You definitely don't want to ask her on Tues or Wed after her exams as it just seems way too eager which isn't a good thing considering this is your 3rd time asking.

If she says she is busy when you ask or doesn't offer an alternate day that works better for her I wouldn't contact her again.

humm I would have just left the ball in her court when she gave the short 7-9 message fwiw. Seems like a lot of chasing.

Ya after she says that I would reply something like "good luck with your exams" and just forget about her unless she texts you again.

In the past week one of my female friends has had one guy send her a long, drawn out e-mail proclaiming his feelings for her and asking her out...she of course said no. And a couple days later another guy who is kinda her FWB sends her a 2-page e-mail asking her to define their relationship as A. just friends B. FWB or C. full blown relationship. He would obviously prefer C. The first guy also routinely sends her 4-5 looooong text messages a day. I advised her to stay far, far away from both.

I had no idea guys were this creepy/clingy, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better about my chances. Guy 1 is a typical nerdy, somewhat socially inept guy, but Guy 2 seems pretty cool and I would've never guessed he'd do something like this.

emails in either case are def not preferred. that said, there may be extenuating circumstances such as guy2 and girl predominately communicate via email. but still, def not preferred.

i think she didn't need your advice on guy1.

i think more info would be needed to advise to stay away from guy2. your heart is prob in the right place here, but maybe guy2 and girl would be a good fit. if they would be i don't think an email (and 2pages is not bad. i'm assuming you copy/pasted it in word and it was 2 pages. i say this b/c 2 pages in word vs. 2 pages in small email font are quite different. 4 paragraphs can be 2 pages in word normal font) asking her out would be an auto-disqualification (though obv it goes in the strong negative evidence column).

are you friends w/ either guy1 or guy2?

some general questions:
- where is girl from/where does she live/how old/and how good looking
- how did she meet guy1? how long have they been friends?
- how did she meet guy2? were they friends first or just insta-fwb and stayed that way?
- how often does she see guy1
- how often does she see guy2 (and when she does see him, is it ever NOT for sex. i.e. do they do stuff together and then not have sex?)