Wait, was that long series of back and forth the psych nurse? lol.

You have to remember that most women are weird and/or mad. They get tired and feel uncommunicative, they get their period, they have a fight with person X and feel down about themselves. The guy they were supposed to call never figures into any of that, it's all about how SHE feels. And it doesn't get better with time in my experience.

Ages ago I decided I'd only date girls that are in the habit of being switched on and polite. Things that are instant deal breakers:

- Texts with poor grammar (indicates she's lazy and poorly read)
- Avoids talking on the phone (indicates cowardly, evasive)
- Unreliable (misses dates, promised calls etc without letting me know)
- Preferences family above her own life and interests (lazy, unmotivated, uncreative)

It cut my dating pool by 90% or so but it's the best decision I ever made. Your mileage may vary.

i'm having flashbacks to "you're welcome for dinner". you need to relax dude!

why can't you accept that this chick doesn't like talking on the phone? that's pretty damn common these days. and it's especially NOT surprising that she's not particularly comfortable with it given that you recently met and she lives with her parents.

this isn't 1992. people like to text.

Dcifr,

FYI, I never answer my phone unless it's a scheduled call, rarely listen to non-business voicemails for hours or days, and have pretty much zero personal phone conversations. Almost all of my social communication is via text.

this is pretty much my approach too. except when my mom calls.

stinky,

FMP

Pete: I just noticed you've graced everybody with your actual name again in fb. Congrats. In terms if texting vs calling, you come across as exactly that way. Eld less so but the purpose of calling isn't just to schedule dates and shoot the ****. It's to get to know the other person. I guess I'm just behind the times. She's 30 though.

That's what dating is for...otherwise why not just do all your dates over the phone?

I think I'd be ecstatic to find a girl like Dcifr's who was into me, but didn't really care to waste time BS'ing via phone calls or text. The less she learns about me between dates, the better in my opinion.

yeah, it's like some weird kind of role reversal here w/ dcifr.

How do you know when you're in love? & how do you tell someone?

There is this bird who I work with, hang out with a lot and shes awesome. Has the same interests and all that stuff.

We're very close friends and I love spending time with her, shes one on my favorite people to hang out with.

I wouldn't want to lose her as a friend but taking a huge leap but it would kill me to see her settle down with someone else

wait, are you saying you want to tell this girl you work with that you love her? just like outta the blue like that?

I guess I'm outdated. ElD, that seems an efficient arrangement.

I will not be so demanding in my head and let things just fall as they may.

I'll text her thurs night to finalize plans and that's it.

it works in the movies?

but i dont really want to drop it on her from the middle of nowhere.

I've made mention to her in the past that I have feelings for her and has told me she she didn't see her more than a great friend.

we're going out for dinner tonight so i might see what sort of vibes i get

from the few details you've provided it sounds like you're firmly in the friendzone.

Inter,

"I've made mention to her in the past that I have feelings for her and has told me she she didn't see her more than a great friend."

How long ago was that? What in your relationship with her has changed since then?

inter,

Definitely way too early to tell her you love her. You sound pretty friend-zoned to be honest.

Dcifr,

First, you sound like a needy 14yo school girl with the way you text, and I can't imagine it being +EV in any manner for you. 'Yum yum'? Seriously dude, don't ever text something that stupid again, as long as you live.

Next, I feel you with regards to the talking on the phone thing. Personally, I need a girl who wants to talk and communicate on the phone, and is simply interested in shooting the **** for 30 minutes at times. It doesn't mean I need to talk or even contact her every day, but I need it every once in a while. This girl doesn't seem to like that nor want that, and that's fine on her part, but you have to come to terms with that. Either accept that fact about her, or find someone who suits your needs better.

There has got to be more important **** in dating than the phone thing. I think in general if you don't know the girl well getting her to pickup the phone>>>texting her. She is texting him about mundane bull**** which can be a huge trap.

I told her this is mid Jan and since then we've been closer than ever. Opening up to each other a lot more about things and just growing closer and closer.

I thought I was firmly in the friendzone but I took her out last night and we hooked up and agreed to go out again so let's see what happens next

As seems to be the case quite often when someone used the term "hooked up"...what do you mean by that?

I banged her

Inter,

That is a surprising twist. Good work, I guess. FWIW, I don't think your best next move is likely to be professing your love for her. But at this point, man, who knows!

Inter...I think your best play is to continue dating her and continue sleeping with her and see what develops between the 2 of you. If she just slept with you and a few days later you confess your love for her and she doesn't feel the same, her reaction is likely going to be to run. I'd give it some time and let it progress like a normal relationship.

^^^that

I have been seeing a girl on and off for a few months. We had made out but she stopped me before anything else happened. I thought it was over since we didn't talk for five days (I didn't text her as I was busy) and then she texted me said that she wanted to be friends and didn't think we should date. I went out of town for a few weeks so we hadn't seen each other until last week.

She texted me quite a bit over the time I was out of town. Last Friday she came over to play some jenga as friends, her idea not mine. We drank a few bottles of wine and had a great time and ended up having sex. We also had sober sex in the morning.

We went out two nights later for dinner. We each had a drink during dinner. Afterwards she came up to my place and I started kissing her. She was interested in some kissing but stopped me when I tried to take off her shirt.

Tonight she came over. We had a glass of wine, talked, and then watched a movie. Again she didn't want to do more than kiss.

We are going skiing together this weekend for a few days. If we were having sex I would say this relationship was progressing totally normally. I have never had a relationship that after we had sex we didn't anymore but still dated and hung out.

Anyone else experience anything like this? I'd love any thoughts. I realize what I wrote its probably hard to draw many conclusions from, but I am happy to give more detail.