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06-12-2009 , 11:58 PM
Luis Castillo
Joke of the day Quote
06-13-2009 , 11:25 AM
"I've always depended on the kindness of stranglers"--- PJ Carlesimo
Joke of the day Quote
06-27-2009 , 10:48 PM
So Farrah dies and goes to heaven. God says "Sorry to see you here so soon. Anything I can do for you back home?" She says "I would just like all the children in the world to be safe" "Done!" He says and kills Michael Jackson.
Joke of the day Quote
06-29-2009 , 01:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GutZ
So Farrah dies and goes to heaven. God says "Sorry to see you here so soon. Anything I can do for you back home?" She says "I would just like all the children in the world to be safe" "Done!" He says and kills Michael Jackson.
this is awesome
Joke of the day Quote
06-29-2009 , 02:31 PM
What did Michael Jackson , Farrah Faucet , and Ed McMahon ask for for xmas?


Spoiler:
Patrick Swayze
Joke of the day Quote
06-29-2009 , 04:06 PM
but wait! there's more! (just pay separate shipping and handling)
Joke of the day Quote
07-01-2009 , 05:35 AM
Q: Whats brown and sticky?











A: A stick
Joke of the day Quote
07-01-2009 , 01:57 PM
What has 2 legs and bleeds?

Spoiler:
Half a cat.
Joke of the day Quote
07-01-2009 , 10:20 PM
What do you call a trustworthy iranian business man?





" asif "
Joke of the day Quote
07-02-2009 , 04:34 AM
Here's one I made up:


Q: What's the upside to your daughter getting shot?

Spoiler:
A: Another hole
Joke of the day Quote
07-02-2009 , 06:25 PM
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
Announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms...

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of
Strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel ..'

The pharmacist fainted.
Joke of the day Quote
07-04-2009 , 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GutZ
So Farrah dies and goes to heaven. God says "Sorry to see you here so soon. Anything I can do for you back home?" She says "I would just like all the children in the world to be safe" "Done!" He says and kills Michael Jackson.
That's terrible.
Joke of the day Quote
07-06-2009 , 01:27 AM
you heard what the elephant said to the Mod on the nude beach...

how do you breathe out of that lil' thing?
Joke of the day Quote
07-31-2009 , 06:21 PM
A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'
Joke of the day Quote
01-02-2010 , 03:16 AM
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.

Watson replies, I see millions of stars.

What does that tell you?

Watson ponders for a minute. Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.
Joke of the day Quote
01-02-2010 , 04:54 AM
Who invented the copper wire ?

Spoiler:
Two Scottsmen fighting for a penny.
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 12:28 AM
"What up biotch? Why you laughin?" asked the pimp a shemale ho. "Notin.. Just scared the hell out of a flasher, showed him a bigger dick"
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 01:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverAnAce
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.

Watson replies, I see millions of stars.

What does that tell you?

Watson ponders for a minute. Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.
This one's really funny. The one right above this post, which I will not quote based on repulsion, is not.
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 06:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by twoplustwostore
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and
Announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms...

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of
Strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel ..'

The pharmacist fainted.
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 06:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by obss
"What up biotch? Why you laughin?" asked the pimp a shemale ho. "Notin.. Just scared the hell out of a flasher, showed him a bigger dick"
lol wat
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 09:41 AM
Q: How do you get an elephant into Safeway?

A:
Spoiler:
Take the S out of 'Safe' and the F out of 'Way'
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 06:49 PM
> A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being interviewed.
>
> The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
>
> Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."
>
> "Why the rabbit?"
>
> "Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
Joke of the day Quote
01-13-2010 , 06:59 PM
pretty funny if u ask me...-)
Joke of the day Quote
01-15-2010 , 06:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by neverbeclever
pretty funny if u ask me...-)
And me.
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