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05-14-2023 , 02:34 PM
#1176
krunic
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How did the hipster burn his tongue?

Spoiler:
He sipped his coffee before it was cool
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05-15-2023 , 04:53 AM
#1177
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All-inMcLovin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
At the coffee shop this morning the barista was wearing a mask. I said "don't you know covid is over, we don't need to wear masks anymore." She said "this isn't a mask, its a coughy filter."
this was a good one
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05-15-2023 , 11:49 AM
#1178
jawhoo
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Both coffee ones made me chuckle out loud actually.

Spoiler:
(I'd change the lead in for the second to "Why did the hipster burn his tongue at Starbucks", to give the audience the chance to work through it/try to guess.)
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05-15-2023 , 12:15 PM
#1179
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Didace
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No self-respecting hipster would be in a Starbucks. They'd be in some place that no one else goes to.
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05-15-2023 , 01:59 PM
#1180
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Morphismus
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BBV Poker Player of 2022
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I wonder what ChatGPT thinks of the first joke I told in this here thread?



Nice! But can it improve it?

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05-15-2023 , 02:24 PM
#1181
krunic
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ChatGPT really doesn't understand humor yet. The joke writing profession is safe for now.
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05-15-2023 , 02:31 PM
#1182
jawhoo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Didace
No self-respecting hipster would be in a Starbucks. They'd be in some place that no one else goes to.
I assume by now it's ironically cool to be into Starbucks.
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05-15-2023 , 02:32 PM
#1183
krunic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Didace
No self-respecting hipster would be in a Starbucks. They'd be in some place that no one else goes to.
This. Unless the setup was "How did the hipster burn his tongue at Starbucks in 1990?" Then it works. But it's still unnecessary, the joke isn't about the coffee or where the hipster is drinking it.
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05-15-2023 , 02:33 PM
#1184
krunic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jawhoo
I assume by now it's ironically cool to be into Starbucks.
Maybe I'm not cool enough, but I've never heard this.
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05-17-2023 , 02:26 AM
#1185
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rickroll
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Questionable Taste
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05-17-2023 , 02:31 AM
#1186
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rickroll
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Questionable Taste
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05-17-2023 , 09:20 AM
#1187
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I fear for the future of the joke thread. What happens if this AI stuff becomes funny?
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05-17-2023 , 09:49 AM
#1188
Gordie
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What did the waiter say at the Apocalypse?
Spoiler:
Will there be anything else?
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05-17-2023 , 07:54 PM
#1189
krunic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phat Mack
I fear for the future of the joke thread. What happens if this AI stuff becomes funny?
Comedians will lose their jobs and have to stand up for themselves.
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05-28-2023 , 10:18 PM
#1190
krunic
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I came up with a great joke about imposter syndrome, but I don't think I'm qualified to post it.
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05-29-2023 , 06:30 AM
#1191
Kalaea
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I told the kids in my classroom at school I was going to pull a rabbit out of my nose.

I tried really hard but all I got was a hare.
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06-19-2023 , 09:27 AM
#1192
krunic
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I got a job at a bank, but they fired me on the first day. An old lady walked in and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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06-19-2023 , 10:36 PM
#1193
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
I got a job at a bank, but they fired me on the first day. An old lady walked in and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I can picture Steven Wright deadpanning this.
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07-05-2023 , 05:15 AM
#1194
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I don't make jokes about fat people anymore.

Spoiler:
They've got enough on their plate already.
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07-06-2023 , 11:06 PM
#1195
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What's the difference between a circus and a sorority house?

Spoiler:
A circus has a spectacular array of cunning stunts.
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08-12-2023 , 03:15 PM
#1196
krunic
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There was a tragic death at a 10th floor nightclub yesterday when a guy fell out the window.
Spoiler:

Police have confirmed he was not a bouncer.
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08-12-2023 , 03:19 PM
#1197
krunic
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I was watching the news and they said there's a guy who could do origami backwards.

Spoiler:
And they would have more on that story as it unfolds
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08-12-2023 , 03:20 PM
#1198
krunic
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I got an email telling me how to read maps backwards.

Spoiler:
Turns out it was spam.
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08-13-2023 , 07:41 AM
#1199
Kalaea
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We started an origami club at the school I work at, but it folded pretty quickly.

Athletics is still running tho.
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08-22-2023 , 10:47 AM
#1200
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Not sure how that came first, the rest are good though...

Quote:
Top 10 jokes of the 2023 Fringe

1. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah - Lorna Rose Treen

2. The most British thing I've ever heard? A lady who said 'Well I'm sorry, but I don't apologise.' - Liz Guterbock

3. Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it's hardly worth it now - Amos Gill

4. When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it's called a podcast - Sikisa

5. I thought I'd start off with a joke about The Titanic - just to break the ice - Masai Graham

6. How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag - Frank Lavender

7. My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic - Roger Swift

8. I entered the 'How not to surrender' competition and I won hands down - Bennett Arron

9. Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch - William Stone

10. My grandma describes herself as being in her "twilight years" which I love because they're great films - Daniel Foxx
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