We're getting some quality stuff here. Cashier-worthy in fact.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball.

My Sister wanted an example to enter a double entendre contest on the radio..

How do you cure Anna's depression?



I'm somewhat proud, because I invented this joke and didn't hear/read it from anybody.

My friend told me he wanted to join the Founder's Society and they told him to Get Lost.

Fairly topical one...

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear?

A turtle walkes into the bar and asks the bartender for a cocktail. Bartender answers "We don't serve turtles" and carries it outside. After a week turtle comes back and asks "Why did you do this?"

Some great posts in this thread

Why do people pinch you when you don't wear green on Saint Paddy's day?

Hahahaahaaha

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying,
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground.
Signed,
A Blonde"

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

What did the Muslim chicken say?

The Lego store was a really popular place for xmas shopping this year.

Xmas cracker joke that I actually quite liked.

Why do bikes fall over?

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

Sounds like it came from the dad jokes guys.

Y'all should reflect on your joking skills.

Me: I think I have a fetish for figuring things out

Therapist: What makes you think that?

Me: I just came to that realization

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

I've had some terrible luck with jobs lately. I worked in an orange juice factory, but got fired because I couldn't concentrate. After that I got a job making calendars at a publishing company, but they fired me just for taking a day off. Then I got a job at a zoo but they fired me as well. I saw a sign that said "Do Not Feed The Animals." So I didn't.

Went to the doctor last month. He did some tests and left the room. When he got back he looked very concerned and said "sir you could have a stroke at any moment!" So I said "great, thanks!" I called the nurse into the room and jerked off on her face.

Then yesterday I went to a different doctor. He told me "sir you need to stop masturbating." I said "really, why?" He said "because I'm trying to take your blood pressure."

What's the difference between a Rolls Royce and a dead hooker?