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12-20-2021 , 03:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canceler
Last night a poker dealer told this joke:

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Spoiler:
Frostbite.


I told that one to a grocery store cashier, who came back with:

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Spoiler:
Do you smell carrots?
We're getting some quality stuff here. Cashier-worthy in fact.
Joke of the day Quote
12-22-2021 , 04:40 AM
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball.

Spoiler:
Nothing. She just gagged a bit.
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01-24-2022 , 06:55 PM
My Sister wanted an example to enter a double entendre contest on the radio..
Spoiler:
..so I gave her one.
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02-13-2022 , 01:13 AM
How do you cure Anna's depression?

Spoiler:
You let her join in a group with other Annas. In this way, they all become a Pollyanna.


I'm somewhat proud, because I invented this joke and didn't hear/read it from anybody.
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02-16-2022 , 12:17 PM
My friend told me he wanted to join the Founder's Society and they told him to Get Lost.
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02-27-2022 , 02:36 PM
Fairly topical one...

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear?
Spoiler:
Chernobyl fallout
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02-28-2022 , 07:52 AM
A turtle walkes into the bar and asks the bartender for a cocktail. Bartender answers "We don't serve turtles" and carries it outside. After a week turtle comes back and asks "Why did you do this?"
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03-05-2022 , 09:34 PM
Some great posts in this thread
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03-06-2022 , 03:58 AM
Why do people pinch you when you don't wear green on Saint Paddy's day?

Spoiler:
Under the remote chance that it punctures the skin, creates an infection, and causes you to gangrene.
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10-17-2022 , 06:12 PM
Joke of the day Quote
11-01-2022 , 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Videopro

Hahahaahaaha
Joke of the day Quote
11-02-2022 , 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Videopro
Joke of the day Quote
11-06-2022 , 05:01 AM
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying,
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground.
Signed,
A Blonde"

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
Joke of the day Quote
11-20-2022 , 11:49 PM
What did the Muslim chicken say?

Spoiler:
Allah bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok!

Note: This joke is best performed if you are good at doing chicken sound effects
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12-26-2022 , 08:56 PM
The Lego store was a really popular place for xmas shopping this year.

Spoiler:
People were lined up for blocks
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12-27-2022 , 05:21 AM
Xmas cracker joke that I actually quite liked.

Why do bikes fall over?
Spoiler:
Because they're too tired
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12-29-2022 , 11:52 PM
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
Joke of the day Quote
12-30-2022 , 01:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokerlogist
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
Sounds like it came from the dad jokes guys.
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01-04-2023 , 09:19 PM
Y'all should reflect on your joking skills.
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01-11-2023 , 07:56 PM
Me: I think I have a fetish for figuring things out

Therapist: What makes you think that?

Me: I just came to that realization
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01-20-2023 , 11:55 PM
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Spoiler:
She didn't have any arms
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01-24-2023 , 11:18 AM
I've had some terrible luck with jobs lately. I worked in an orange juice factory, but got fired because I couldn't concentrate. After that I got a job making calendars at a publishing company, but they fired me just for taking a day off. Then I got a job at a zoo but they fired me as well. I saw a sign that said "Do Not Feed The Animals." So I didn't.
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01-24-2023 , 11:24 AM
Went to the doctor last month. He did some tests and left the room. When he got back he looked very concerned and said "sir you could have a stroke at any moment!" So I said "great, thanks!" I called the nurse into the room and jerked off on her face.

Then yesterday I went to a different doctor. He told me "sir you need to stop masturbating." I said "really, why?" He said "because I'm trying to take your blood pressure."
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01-25-2023 , 10:53 PM
What's the difference between a Rolls Royce and a dead hooker?

Spoiler:
I don't have a Rolls Royce in my garage
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02-09-2023 , 02:01 AM
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