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10-07-2020 , 04:53 PM
#1101
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Phat Mack
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Twat-Waffle
Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 12,384
A+
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10-08-2020 , 07:21 PM
#1102
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thethethe
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Definitely one i'll try to tell and completely mess up.
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08-23-2021 , 10:43 PM
#1103
krunic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandraXII
- Did you hear about the Greek cheese company that's been accused of using unscrupulous suppliers to try and cut costs?

- I believe it's a case of unfeta-ed capitalism
Did you hear about the forum for people with a cheese fetish?

Spoiler:
It's called FetaLife.
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08-24-2021 , 05:31 PM
#1104
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Videopro
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Making TV
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.
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08-26-2021 , 01:52 PM
#1105
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Did you hear about those hackers who never got caught?

Spoiler:
The FBI said they must've ransomware
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09-17-2021 , 06:54 PM
#1106
krunic
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I'm not really into steampunk. But it's the healthiest way to prepare punk.
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09-17-2021 , 06:56 PM
#1107
krunic
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Tonight I was gonna cook alligator for dinner, but then I realized I only had a croc pot.
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09-17-2021 , 06:56 PM
#1108
krunic
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What happens when garlic gets horny?

Spoiler:
They take their cloves off
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09-17-2021 , 06:58 PM
#1109
krunic
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I've started investing in stocks lately. I got some chicken, some beef, some mushroom, and some veal stock. Hopefully one day it'll pay off and I'll become a bouillionaire.
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09-17-2021 , 07:00 PM
#1110
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A lumberjack started chopping down a tree. The tree said "wait, don't chop me down, I'm a talking tree!" The lumberjack replied "and you'll dialogue."
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09-17-2021 , 07:34 PM
#1111
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Videopro
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Punny stuff.
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09-18-2021 , 05:39 AM
#1112
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Morphismus
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BBV Poker Player of 2022
Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,600
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10-07-2021 , 02:22 PM
#1113
krunic
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I haven't made a pun in seven days.

Spoiler:
It's enough to make one week


I tried calling the tinnitus helpline, but there was no answer.

Spoiler:
It just kept ringing.


Did you know that diarhea is genetic?

Spoiler:
It runs in your jeans.


Did you hear the CEO of Ikea got elected president of Sweden?

Spoiler:
He's still assembing his cabinet


My friend from Vancouver was a heavy drinker.

Spoiler:
He drank Canada Dry


I once sued an airline company after my luggage went missing.

Spoiler:
I lost my case


My friend said he was so broke he couldn't pay his water bill.

Spoiler:
So I sent him a get well soon card


I used to work at a recycling center and I hated it, all I did was crush cans all day.

Spoiler:
It was soda pressing


The only thing flat earthers have to fear:

Spoiler:
is sphere itself


Did you know that babies are born with four kidneys?

Spoiler:
When they grow up, two of them turn into adult knees


Did you hear about the art thieves whose getaway vehicle ran out of fuel?

Spoiler:
They didn't have enough Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
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10-24-2021 , 07:23 AM
#1114
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They amused me much more than I feel they should have!
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10-24-2021 , 10:53 PM
#1115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
I used to work at a recycling center and I hated it, all I did was crush cans all day.

Spoiler:
It was soda pressing
It also didn't make any cents.
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10-30-2021 , 11:08 PM
#1116
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Among all the inventions of the 20th century, I think the dry erase board is the most remarkable.
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10-30-2021 , 11:24 PM
#1117
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Wholesome Mod
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
Among all the inventions of the 20th century, I think the dry erase board is the most remarkable.

n1
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10-31-2021 , 11:14 AM
#1118
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Just average
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No, really?..what.......... oh wait, I get it.

[golf clap.gif]
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10-31-2021 , 07:51 PM
#1119
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The Dalai Lama walked into a pizza shop and when asked what he wanted he replied "Make me one with everything."
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11-09-2021 , 11:06 PM
#1120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
Among all the inventions of the 20th century, I think the dry erase board is the most remarkable.
That took me longer than it should have.
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11-21-2021 , 07:17 PM
#1121
krunic
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Today I found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy.

Spoiler:
I always thought he was just a theoretical physicist
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11-21-2021 , 07:52 PM
#1122
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Videopro
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Making TV
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Spoiler:
[IMG][/IMG]
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12-03-2021 , 09:33 PM
#1123
krunic
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I'm trying to stop eating thanksgiving leftovers

Spoiler:
but I just can't quit cold turkey
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12-04-2021 , 06:42 AM
#1124
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The three stages of a man’s sex life:
Tri-weekly
Try weekly
Try weakly
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12-19-2021 , 01:57 PM
#1125
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grinder
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Last night a poker dealer told this joke:

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Spoiler:
Frostbite.


I told that one to a grocery store cashier, who came back with:

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Spoiler:
Do you smell carrots?
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