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Old 02-21-2009, 12:37 AM   #76
Sean Fraley
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Re: Joke of the day

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phresh View Post
This is probably the worst joke ever.
For this forum, your probably right.

But the next time you find yourself in need of a joke around a group of nurses, doctors, or med students give it a try. Trust me, they'll think it's hysterical.
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Old 02-21-2009, 12:40 AM   #77
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Re: Joke of the day

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

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Old 02-21-2009, 01:13 AM   #78
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Re: Joke of the day

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What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

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FWIW I think they are both funny
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Old 02-21-2009, 02:46 AM   #79
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Re: Joke of the day

Why does New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps but California has the most lawyers?

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Old 02-21-2009, 02:55 AM   #80
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by bronx bomber View Post
How did Helen Keller burn her hand?










Reading the waffle iron
Someone told me a joke like this and its followup: How did Helen Keller burn her cheek?

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How did she burn her other cheek?

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Old 02-21-2009, 02:57 AM   #81
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Re: Joke of the day

[link to animated version of this Steven Wright joke at bottom]

So my bus comes, and I get on, walk toward the back, and I sit down next to a beautiful blonde Chinese girl.
I say "Hi." She says "hi."
I say "Isn't it an amazing day?" and she says "It's OK, I guess."
"Just OK?"
"Yeah, things haven't been going too well for me lately."
"What's wrong."
"I can't tell you."
"why not?"
"Because I don't even know you."
"Yeah but sometimes it's good to tell your problems to an absolute, total stranger on a bus."
"well, I've just come from my therapist and he's still unable to help me."
"why, what's wrong?"
She paused. Then she said "I'm a nymphomaniac and I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. By the way, my name is Diane."
"Hi, Dianne, I'm Bucky Goldstein."


link to animated version of joke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNzQE...next=1&index=6
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Old 02-21-2009, 03:35 AM   #82
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by Sean Fraley View Post
But the next time you find yourself in need of a joke around a group of nurses, doctors, or med students give it a try.
thanks, i'll keep that in mind...
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Old 02-21-2009, 08:06 PM   #83
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by E.S.P. View Post
FAIL
Quote:
Originally Posted by E.S.P. View Post
U 2
NO U DUCY
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Old 02-22-2009, 05:00 AM   #84
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Re: Joke of the day

this thread should be titled "Maxim's Joke of the Month"

with that said, some old dude told me this joke while randomly standing in line at a gas station, made me lol pretty hard, it was all in his delivery:

Q: What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?

Spoiler:


normally wouldn't find it that funny but it was so random and guy had to be in his 70s, i couldn't help but crack up
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Old 02-23-2009, 12:30 AM   #85
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Re: Joke of the day

How do you know that a Chinese family is moving into town?

Even the Mexicans are buying car insurance.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:20 PM   #86
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Re: Joke of the day

A woman went into a bar, walked up to the bartender and asked for a double entendre.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:21 PM   #87
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Re: Joke of the day

why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:12 PM   #88
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Re: Joke of the day

Chinese guy arrives to America and goes into the convenience store and buys a bottle of water.

Cashier tells him it's $1.00

He goes in the next day and buys another bottle.

Cashier says it's $1.25

Chinese guy says that he doesn't understand, it was only a dollar the day before -- why is it more now?

Cashier says, "Fluctuations"

Asian guy pays, starts heading for the door, then turns around and screams "Well Fluck you Americans too!"
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Old 02-27-2009, 04:35 PM   #89
Count Chocula
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Re: Joke of the day

i laughed but my god that was terrible lol.
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:03 PM   #90
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Re: Joke of the day

why can't stevie wonder read?

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Old 02-27-2009, 09:22 PM   #91
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Re: Joke of the day

i'll never know why stevie wonder can't read.

no lie.
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:29 PM   #92
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Re: Joke of the day

Two black guys are walking down the road when they see a booth that says "Turn white, fifty cents." Excited, they reach into their pockets. One of them has no money, but the other has a one dollar bill. "I'll go in and turn white," the black guys said to his friend, "and then when I come out I'll give you the fifty cents and you can go in and turn white too." "Pefect!" says the other black guy. So, he goes in booth for a minute and when he comes back out he's white! "It worked!" says the black guy to his friend. "That's amazing. Okay, now give me the fifty cents so I can turn white too!" But friend just says, "Get a job, ******," and walks away.
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:57 PM   #93
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Re: Joke of the day

that was terrible.

for one thing, i already knew what the punchline would be only half way through the joke.
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Old 02-27-2009, 10:07 PM   #94
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Re: Joke of the day

Q: How many indie rockers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler:
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Old 02-27-2009, 10:25 PM   #95
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Re: Joke of the day

I'll never know.

I'm guessing like 2 though.
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Old 02-28-2009, 09:54 AM   #96
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Re: Joke of the day

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil*Ivysaur View Post
why can't stevie wonder read?

Spoiler:
awesome. racist one liners gogogo

What is a black man's most white part?
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Old 02-28-2009, 10:44 AM   #97
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by fsoyars View Post
Q: How many indie rockers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler:
A+
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Old 02-28-2009, 11:13 AM   #98
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by fsoyars View Post
Q: How many indie rockers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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I don't get it
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Old 02-28-2009, 01:55 PM   #99
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Re: Joke of the day

I hate this thread.

too many spoilers.
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Old 02-28-2009, 02:48 PM   #100
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Re: Joke of the day

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Originally Posted by mad_hatter View Post
I don't get it
They're snobby and pretentious.
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