What's the first thing a blonde says after having sex?

Are all you guys on the same team?




How can you tell when a fake blonde has been doing your landscaping?

All the bushes are darker.




Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?

To hold their ankles.

What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke?

Your mom cant take a joke.

I like that one. Gonna find a way to use it this weekend for sure.

Dicks

Knock Knock.
Who's there?

Too soon?

way too soon imo. keep it in line gutz

2 + 2 rules state that it's only too soon if it's a disaster that happens in the US. If it's in any other country it's no problem.

You know the bad thing about Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Celebrity version?

You don't get to keep the money you win.

That's just cold.

What do you call a cow with three legs?



What do you call a cow with no legs?



What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lol.

Two sausages in a frying pan...One says to the other "F*** me it's hot in here" and the other one says "F*** me a talking sausage!".



Two fish in a tank...One says to the other "How the f*** do we drive this thing!?"



What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?


Why did the plane crash?

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for £2.
The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty quid for the cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty quid I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

You know whose parents must be proud?

Thom Yorke's.

i dont get it

It's an anagram for "Mr. Key Hoot's" ldo

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

I already posted that joke! And the answer is Dre btw

Rehashed old joke.

How come tight women only date circumcised men?

They like anything that is 20% off.

It's funny because he gave the opposite answer of the opposite answer of the obvious answer.

People are at the saloon having a blast. Some guy walks in, orders a beer and uses a lasso to drag it to him, without a single drop spilling. People look at him in awe and he introduces himself - Lasso-Bill.
Another guy walks in, throws a coin in the air and shoots a hole in the middle of it. He introduces himself - Gun-Bill.
Then another guy makes a move. He's a short and deformed man with a face full of boils. He drops his pants down and shows his odd colored cock and four different sized testicles. He introduces himself - Cherno-Bill.

i was more amused by "gun-bill" than the punch line.