What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

a woman was killed when she was hit by a truck driver yesterday. who's fault was it?

Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad?

Why coulnt Hellen Keller drive a car? Why cant Hellen Keller drive a train?

How do you torture Helen Keller

What do you see when the pillsbury doughboy bends over?

Why did the feminist cross the road?



How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How does Michael J. Fox prefer his martinis?

you should

best ever

Q: Why does Helen Keller Masturbate with one hand?

A: So she can moan with the other.

How does Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They secretly rearrange the furniture.

I was in Home Depot the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Most old guys are helpful like that.

omg

How do you make a dead baby float?

LOL - this was great

2001 called they want their dead baby jokes back.

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two things" he says, scanning his eyes across the room.

"The first: you must be completely comfortable with anything on, in, or around the human body" and with this utterance dramatically whips the sheet off of a cadaver that has been laid face down on the table in front of him. He then, to the amazement of the medical students gathered in front of him proceeds to shove a finger into the cadavers anus, pulls the finger out, and then puts a finger into his mouth.

"To impress upon you how important this is, I will now require that all of you form a line, walk up to the cadaver, and then do precisely as I have just done. Any person who find themselves unwilling to attempt this will automatically fail the program. If you don't think that you can handle it, the door is over there". After a minute of shocked murmuring, the students make their decision. A handful head to the door but the large majority of them form a line and proceed to mimic their instructor.

After the students have finished and sat down, the doctor continues with his speech. "The second thing that you must master is this: pay attention to each and every detail, let none escape your notice. Needless to say, all of you have a great deal of work to do in this. I am appalled that not a single, solitary one of you noticed that I stuck my index finger into the cadaver's rectum, but my middle finger into my mouth".

I loled even tho I knew what the answer was gonna be.

How did Helen Keller burn her hand?










Reading the waffle iron

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?







They attached doorknobs to the walls.

FAIL

U 2

LOL that masturbate joke was SO HILARIOUS omfg best joke of all time

This is probably the worst joke ever.