whats an arabian under a camel?

car-repairing

atrocious

On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, 'It's Lent.'

In tears, she sobbed, 'Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?'

knock knock

if it's anything like your last joke i hope no one's home

Who's there?

a guys walking down the beach and sees a woman with no arms and no legs. he notices the woman is crying and asks her whats wrong? she says shes never been hugged before. so the man gives her a hug and as he's walking away he hears her crying again. He goes back and asks whats wrong now? she says shes never been kissed before. he gives her a kiss on the cheek and before he can leave she starts balling. annoyed the man asks whats wrong now?.. she says shes never been ****ed before. he picks her up and throws her in the ocean... "now you're ****ed"..

old joke i tell all the time

lol

Imma

Dick Cheney walks into a bar and yells out to the bartenter, "I'll have a shot!"

Everyone runs for cover.

Oldie but maybe goodie.

Little johnny walks in on his mum as she is getting out of the shower.
Looking puzzled he points down at her vijayjay and and asks:

"What's that down there mummy?"

to which she replies

"That's where daddy hit me with the axe darling"

"Wow" Johnny said excitedly, "He's a bloody good shot!"
"Got ya right in the c**t"

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Whats blue and yellow and sits on the bottom of the pool?

lol second joke was pretty funny

It was also the third time it was posted in the thread. I was the 2nd

What do you call a cow without legs?

What do you call a woman with no legs?

How does Sean Connery do the washing up?

Don't blame me, a couple of guys back started it.


What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a beach?



Woman with no arms and no legs who is a lawyer?



Guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?



Guy with no arms and no legs who comes in your mailbox once a month?



Guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?



Guy with no arms and no legs in the lake?



Guy and a girl with no arms and no legs on a BBQ grill?



2 guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?



Woman with no arms and 1 leg?



Where does she work?



Guy with no arms and no legs who works at a gas station?



Woman with no arms and no legs with a flatulence problem?



What do you do with a dog with no legs?

a Ham sandwich walks into a bar

Eta: whole spoiler didn't show. See it now.

A guy walks through the woods when all of a sudden a fairy appears and grants him a wish.

The guy is pretty thirsty from walking around in the woods, and so he says: “ Well, I would like to have a glass of beer wish never runs empty.”

The fairy waves her hands and the guy has a glass full of nice, cold beer in his hand. He takes a big gulp, takes the glass down and it magically fills up again.

Then the fairy says: ”Ok, that was quiet an easy exercise. You know what – I grant you another wish!”

“Any wish?” he asks. “Any wish” the fairy replies. He thinks for a while and then says: “Well, then I would like to have another one of those glasses”

Dumb.

















Damn.