ARRRR ye bloody buggers. this be Salt

i been told to expect open world piratey-based knockabout nonsense in 'ere

it's the year 1640. i be Bort Bortles, orphaned at birth. frankly the social services around these 'ere parts are not fit for purpose so i ran away from the orphanage. found meself taken in by some kindly pirates wot adopted me as their ship's mascot

unfortunately the mascot novelty wore off after a few weeks and they've 'ad me cleaning out the kitchens ever since. well this mornin' i've made me daring escape, jumping off the side of the bluddy boat while the rest of them wankers were still sleeping

i've washed up on some island, dont know where the 'ell i am



that's me on the left, wot a round 'eaded buffoon i look

alls i got with me is a crafting book, which is a bit pointless as i cant bloody read. maybe i can make a fire out of it

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rules: dead = dead. no looking up stuff on the internet on the theory that if i cant figure it out it aint worth knowing

after a quick search of this small island i have found one wooden log, a pickaxe, and a bloke with massive hands sitting on a box next to a roaring fire with what looks like a dead body nearby. there is also a chest of potential booty and several trees

all are helpfully labelled



i do hope he's not a rapist

unclear what the bars mean. red is possibly health. i'm slowly running out of green

ok the bloke on the box CLAIMED to have killed dead man in self defense. says mr dead was a pirate and that i can have his stuff. and i can ALSO have the booty in the chest. AND i can have a raft that is just offshore. its quite clear that this bloke is a rapist/murderer and that he is attempting to butter up his next intended victim: ME, so i am getting the hell out of here

am off to that distant island on me new raft



inventory: some logs, bits of stone, a sword, some gloves (which i have tried and failed to put on), 4 gold pieces, and some other bits & sundry. plus a book and a key (?) found on mr dead

obv i cant read the book, but i asked the rapist about it before i left. he said it was orders from a 'captain buffbeard', telling mr dead to pillage booty and then meet him on 'a nearby island with wood stumps and orange tinted grass'

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there's been a terrible development. apparently you have to manually input **** on your map, and my sense of direction irl is absolutely shambolic. have spent the last few mins in game trying to work out which way is north from the motion of the sun and i'm having no luck at all



so, you can click on the map to put an island down, and then you can select an icon which i guess tells you what's there. this is likely to go exceptionally poorly

i shall worry about it later. gonna get off rapist island, no time to waste

A+ thread, would read in a pirate accent again

uh, hopefully i'm still pointing at my target destination

LAND HO!

looks like someone has lit a fire on the beach, best get me mighty cutlass ready just in case

nvm its just some radioactive material



this island will do fine. i name it Bortland

a hearty supply of space tomatoes 'ere on bortland, and there dont seem to be owt wot wants to eat/rape me

day 1: unmitigated success

i met a cartagrafer, err, cartugrougher. catorgrafuh?

i met a map man who agreed to 'elp me with me maps

'av also eyed a mighty vessel, seems to be anchored



going to see if i can nab it. that's me fearsome cutlass on the right, taken from a dead cur

a right beauty she be!

no one on deck

turns out she be a bloody wreck, no sails no wheel no nowt. gonna need a big pile of logs an that to get it movin'

hopefully should 'av no problem findin her again now that me maps are in good nick

Wow, this game has been in Early Access for 3 1/2 years!?!?

got 'er goin. picked up a buildin trick or two during me time on the pirate boat which stood me in good stead 'ere



now i got two places to investugait, err, 'ave a look at. one's got buried booty an' the other's a pirate base, or so am told by the kind fella wot had a look at me books & such

findin it a bit 'ard to get me hands on food, but it dont seem to matter none

BEEN TRAMPIN AROUND THIS BASTARD ISLAND WITH A BASTARD SPADE IN ME BASTARDIN 'ANDS FOR 15 BLOODY MINUTES, WHICH IS ABOUT AS EXCITING AS IT BUGGERIN SOUNDS LIKE, LOOKIN FOR TREASURE. AND THERE ISNT TREASURE

THE MAN SAID LOOK OUT FOR A RED X OR AN X MADE OF STONES OR MAYBE A PLANT THAT OUGHT NOT BE 'ERE BUT THERE AINT NONE OF THAT AN I'M QUITE EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT FACT

ey up WOTS THIS

FOUND IT LADS! under that bastard plant!

there's a fella somewhere oo reckons he can tell me about a mountain island, says its as tall an 'undred palm trees and that there's magnificent booty to be 'ad. wants me treasure box tho or 'e wont say where it is. or i could just open the bugger

not too sure what to do, gonna 'ave to sleep on it

Don't be a bloody land-lover, a real pirate would have that ting opened already.
There's gold and in there.

i didn't bloody hear yer warnin in time an gave the booty to the bloke, expectin to find out where even bigger booty is. instead he give me

i reckons that is the base over there, them white things is fires they got lit.

comes to think of it i'm not sure if it is a pirate affair, the bloke said that the map said 'battlefront settlement' or some such tomfoolery, dont know if thats pirates or wot. i'll soon find out. will be waitin till mornin to invade cos i like to see what i'm bashing over the 'ed

hold up, upon studyin' me map an me magic needle device i reckon this over ere is the base in fact

right this be it

could do with one o' them things wot makes everythin bigger so i could 'ave a good look, but i dont seem to ave one

ere hang on a bloody minute, tree stumps an bronze grass, where've i 'eard that before

https://imgur.com/a/ZrndM

Updated ye olde map.

rip