I think a chimp would win this fight the overwhelming majority of the time.

The chimp is much stronger and much faster and more agile, so he'd win a brute force match easy. That doesn't even count his teeth which would also mess someone up terribly. Plus a chimp has much greater control of it's legs, so it can whale on the human with 4 limbs much more effectively than the humans kicks would.

What would the human be wearing btw?

The only advantage a trained fighter would have is knowledge of various holds and moves, but I don't think he could effectively get a chimp in these holds.

Not only because they are much stronger and faster than a human, but also they are proportioned differently (much longer arms and legs).

Like I said, I think the chimp wins the vast majority of the time.

Let's look at this from a different perspective.

Every Which Way But Loose - Clint Eastwood is as hard as nails, yet needs to repeatedly beat on peole to get a result, Clyde, the chimpanzee never needs more than one lackadaisical punch.

The chimp wins.

More seriously, those who keep referring to "the monkey" obviously have no authority on the subject whatever as this description would apply equally (little) to both combatants and their arguments are devalued immeasurably by starting from such an ignorant standpoint.

In terms of the fight itself, I contend that there is not a (n unarmed) human on the planet who is remotely equipped to deal with the strength, speed, agility and raw ferocity of a really pissed off, homicidal chimpanzee.

Before his untimely death, Steve Irwin might have stood a chance if he had a couple of crocodiles to use against the big furball, but I'd have to class that as use of illegal weapons as far as the contest goes.

as a jiu jitsu student i can tell you that most locks would be worthless on a chimp. the rear naked choke(sleeper) would be the only one that would work but getting it on a super strong chimp would most likely be imposible. armbar would be the move that the chimp is most suseptible to. but thats what would f*** you because how the armbar works is it puts the strenght of your whole body against you opponents bicept. and from the sound of it the chimps bicept would be stronger than your whole body. so i stick to my origonal pick. chuck over chimp and chimp over grappler.

i've fought in MMA fights, i am 6'2 225 pounds. i'm mid level, not anywhere near the top flight guys(but much closer to them then most of you would be to me), im as strong or stronger than most of them(obv not matt hughes). there is no way in hell id fight a damn chimpanzee, i think anyone who thinks an MMA fighter could take out a wild animal with more strength, quicker reflexes and a denser skull, not to mention teeth, vastly overemphasizes human abilities compared to what's out there in nature

kick push coast may fight mma but he has never been thumbed in the eye by chuck.

Lol I wonder who on this thread is on the UG as well?

A chimp would [censored] rape any human. It would bite chuck's thumb clean off as soon as it went near his eye.

Lol at the dude thinking a chimp is going to allow a human to take his back while he patiently tries to escape.

BWahahaha

haha no but ive sure went to strip clubs and got drunk with him

this thread is posted in the pokerground on the ug

and come to think of it a triangle might just be the grapplers best shot at the chimp. as long as the chimp doesnt bite your balls off. but if you pulled guard and locked it in the chimp would be screwed. but thats a very big if.

Chimp:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMfuUE0zoCc

vs

Chuck:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=limksNODJ3U

Chuck all day long!

Another interesting way to phrase the question: How much technology would be required for "mr. average 25 year old guy who practiced a bit of martial arts in highschool" to have an advantage over "mr. average wild adult male chimp" in a fight to the death.

none?
walking stick?
small pocket knife?
medium sized locking pocket knife?
crowbar?
machete?
handgun?
shotgun?
(etc.)?

actually there aren't many guys in the UFC that would lose to the Karate Chimp.

Have a look who posted it in the Pokerground then....

clyde is an orangutan.

i have to disagree big time crocop would beat any boxer on the planet(as long as kicks are alowed) and fedor won the striking vs crocop. fedor would beat all but the top heavywieghts, and maybee them too.

Under MMA rules - yes.

Under boxing rules - it would be a brutally onesided beatdown by the boxer.

What if they start with Koala bears, and work their way up from there? MMA guy should be able to punch a monkey out no problem. No rush.

Then, you get the point where you could fight an old chimp, and so on.

I miss Steve Irwin.

Reading this piece pretty much locks it up for me. In this corner, the undisputed champ, Bobo da Chimp! Imagine being on the receiving end of a four-fisted chimp beatdown, all because the chimp was pissed off that he didn't have a birthday cake.

How's that Nobel Prize coming along?

If strength were the chimp's *only* advantage, then yeah maybe. But the chimp isn't just a super-strong human with nothing else going for it. The chimp is also faster, has better reflexes, is more coordinated, has serious teeth, has longer arms, has a thicker skull, and can fight with four hands.

Many people seem to be underestimating the degree to which wild animals are athletically superior to humans.

Goddamn my braindead moment.

I've only read 2/3 of the thread so far so my apologies if this has already been addressed, but I have a question.

Cliff notes version of the question at the end.

With the popularity of UFC et al, 1 in 5 people seem to be a jiu-jit-su fanboy these days (my apologies again if that sounds patronizing) and I can see how, logically and from just plain watching the fights, how this is the most effective UFC/MMA style.
It occured to me that this style, however, has some fatal flaws if used in a pure street setting, in that the JJS fighter leaves himself open to deadly and incapacitating attacks, groin strikes, eye gouges et cetera, which are not legal. I don't really know [censored] about MMA but was asking an old roommate about it. I believe (We weren't that close so I don't know the specifics) he was a black belt in kung fu (I KNOW black belt in something) and had extensively studied brazilian jiujitsu, and he verified that in a fight to the death the grappler would have his eyes gouged out or scrotum ripped off relatively easily.
So the question is, seeking more opinions, is this true?

Cliff notes: In a pure street fight, would a brazilian jiujitsu fighter be easily susceptible to maneuvers (eye gouges, groin strikes) that are illegal in UFC fights?

And btw, CHIMP FTW and it's really not even close. All the proud humans and MMA fanboys need to just swallow the pride. I venture TWO UFC champs would not beat the chimp.

No, in order to effectively eye gouge someone, you need to be in a dominant position. A BJJ blackbelt would mount the Kung Fu blackbelt quickly and would be the one eyegouging him. The Kung Fu guy might have a chance of catching him with a quick eye gouge while they are standing, but it wouldn't be enough to finish the fight and the fight would not stay standign for very long.

I don't think i'm familiar with the rules of this fight. In the first round, when Sapp had Minotauro on his back twice, both times he let him up, or at least it seemed he did. Did the ref break it up, or... This is a pretty good fight so far.

Edit: Whoa, you can't be saved by the bell. If you're in a submissive position when the round ends you start there at the beginning of the next. Explain further if you get the chance.

Well, when I lived with this guy, he had been studying JJU exclusively for years, so it's not like he was one of these biased kung fu guys refusing to admit the pros of JJU. I just don't put all my stock in one person's opinion.
It just seemed to me that when the guys are on the ground, both of their faces, necks and groins are susceptible, but obviously off limits in the organzied fight.

First of all, no matter what position you are in at the end of the round, the next round begins with both fighters on their feet. This is true in any MMA org I've heard of. Second, Nogueira was not in a "submissive" position at the end of the first. Sapp was in his guard, which is considered a neutral position even though one fighter is on his back.