I'd like to share a personal challenge I aim to conquer within the next five years: dedicating myself to poker. Unfortunately, I face a significant obstacle when it comes to bankroll management, and I struggle immensely with tilt. It's a common pattern for me: as I see my bankroll coming down, I become nervous, increase my stakes (hoping to recover more quickly – a grave mistake), and sometimes even venture into online blackjack, ending up losing everything. This time around, I want to take a different approach in my life, and for that, I'm starting this thread to seek help.

The idea is to post about the situations I encounter and share graphics that may contribute to my journey. A few months ago, I went through a divorce, which has been incredibly tough for me at 31 years old questioning it all:. I have a stable job that demands a lot of attention and brings me significant stress, but the pay is good.

I would appreciate any positive comments and would kindly ask to avoid hate.

Initial Bankroll: ~$300 USD
Starting Stake: NL25
Pokerstars.

Thank you.

With a well-paying job you don't really need a bank roll for micro stakes, just refill when you bust. But if you are serious about having a separate bank roll for poker, that is not supposed to go to zero, you'll need to start lower than NL25. 12 buy ins is not enough. Alternatively, if you think you're at least a break even player at NL25, add another $300. That should be enough, but be ready to move down to NL10 in case of a downswing.

Also, there is a better forum for these kind of threads:
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...r-blogs-goals/

Finally, good luck and all the best for you!

Great, thanks. Noted. I will proceed posting here: https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...r-blogs-goals/

we all have self destructing patterns and behaviors.
if you want this time around to be different, you will also have to become a different person. figure out why you self sabotage and how you could slowly work towards a new pattern of behavior.
Sadly, if you just say this time is gonna be different, it won't.
The things you have to get rid of are probably the things you want to get rid of the least, otherwise you would've already done it.

Also, you need a way more conservative bankroll management, and specially if you struggle with it, you need to be more strict than other people, kinda like how previous addicts need to avoid certain things more strictly than non-addicts

Imo you should consider humbly moving down to 2nl or similar and practice strict bankroll management from there.

Zero shame in it for any reason let alone if your main issue is bankroll, so conquer that first until it doesn't even register. And learn to embrace moving up or down stakes like levels in a computer game - i.e. it's totally out of our control. Good players are focusing on good play and leave the bankroll to manage itself.

Poker is a fairly ruthless pain machine all in all. On top of that we have to conquer the egoic fear of being wrong in public a lot to get better and learn from better players. While the good player isn't feeling much pain anymore because they know what they know and what they don't know, they still only reached that nirvanic state by dying a gazillion times themselves and asking thousands of questions. So post hands for others to review as an effective painkiller. At least then you get something out of your mistakes right?

Admitting our faults is a positive first step, so GL... I think you know it will take time and dedication but the limit of how much you can learn about poker, even today, seems to be how far you're willing to push yourself rather than any hard limit. But you have to embrace and conquer the pain of losing constantly. Could also try things like meditation if your emotions are getting the better of you.