I'm also in the camp of checking back the turn, and I would've bet smaller on the flop as well.
As for pre I prefer to call the 3-bet in these positions when we're this deep. We want to take full advantage of our position vs the sb which means we should be playing almost our entire range as a call in these spots. I don't think a 4-bet is bad, but by calling and keeping the range of the SB wider when we're IP I think we will see a better long-term EV.