hahahahahahaha

GG delivers the goods with the 3rd one.

A+

Ahahahahahahahaha.

A ****ing ++++ GG

Also, she definitely overreacted. Drunk guys sometimes get mad and punch holes in the wall. It happens. He never physically threatened her.

Was Vintage wrong to do what he did and act the way he did? Yes, absolutely. He shouldn't be drinking to that extent and if he has anger problems like that, he should get them under control. Was she right to get upset at him? Absolutely.

But she put his career and well-being in serious jeopardy by calling the police, especially since I am sure she is aware of his cache in his house. Plus, he wants to be a teacher. I mean, come on... is she brain dead? He punched a ****ing wall. Men do **** like that. He didn't threaten her and wasn't angry at her. He's not a violent person. His friend/roommate was standing right there (where the **** was this guy when our damsel in distress was calling the police?)

This all assumes that Vintage didn't leave any relevant details out, but I don't think he did. He was fairly candid and self-deprecating in his write up, so I don't see why he'd sugar coat things at all.

If that's all true and nothing else happened I (as vintage) would reassure the girl that I meant no harm and then probably break up with her.

lololol GG, wp sir.

Actually vintage if you wouldn't mind sending the TR, i'm curious now.

+1

Edit: nm. Not sure I want to post anything else that Vintage hasn't said here.

Karak, can you read what I originally posted? It's relevant imo.

i wouldnt mind a PM

i agree with mittens though... wtf if my GF called the police on me regardless if i did anything or not i would break up with her

to me, calling the cops is for serious things or when someone you dont care about is out of control. if you know the person, you should try to resolve things without the police being involved.

if she told the cops that he pushed her or whatever, he could be facing charges or could have been arrested.

Without having read the TR, Vintage admits to being blacked out drunk, and is now diagnosed as bipolar II. A blackout drunk in a manic state may not have the ability to control themselves. Girl is probably justified in calling the cops to diffuse the situation, protect herself, and even protect vintage from himself.

If someone you do care about is out of control, why wouldn't you call the cops? Cops can serve more of a purpose than just arresting people. Maybe the rest of the TR plays out differently if the cops don't get called and Vintage ends up more violent. And if he did actually hit her, he deserves to be arrested.

...

I'm pretty sure her calling the cops was an overreaction (in retrospect). She was drunk too and has had a less than healthy relationship in the past, so I think she kind of has a right to get scared more easily than most girls. She thought (albeit irrationally) that I was legit going to hurt her.

That being said, the fact that the cops didn't arrest me and didn't really do much of anything says enough about her level of reaction.

She slept over last night and things are slowly getting back to normal. I'm still planning on calling a psychologist. Not really 100% b/c of this, but just because it has been a good while overdue for me.

goofy,

I didn't realize GG Sport and Social was dead, that sucks, they used to be huge. Sports Club America was pretty small, so not surprised if they are gone. Anyway, there are always a couple of organizations doing stuff like this, and w/ all the new startups bringing young people here I'm sure there are a couple of really fun ones right now. I'm sure you can Google or just ask people in Marina bars to find out what groups are running these now. Or just go look at t-shirts of people playing organized looking sports in parks to find out.

There's also an SF Kickball league you can search on Facebook that puts weekly games on in GG Park when it gets nice, that should be starting soon. More nerdy and less hot chicks than those leagues, but still a good fun time.

Urban Diversion is something that lots of people like a lot, look into that. I haven't participated in that, but know a number of people who did and enjoyed it.

My prediction is that all of this is the beginning to the end of your relationship. And not because of what you did, but because of the mental frame (very passive/submissive/apologetic/doting) it is going to make you take with regards to her.

Meh I dunno. If I am a girl and my boyfriend who is probably twice my size is blackout and punching holes in walls, it doesn't seem completely outrageous that if he is mad at me I might get hit right after. While simply leaving the residence seems like the solution to that problem, calling the cops doesn't seem like that bad of an idea.

Yeah, according to the story it's not like he was yelling for a rational reason. If she'd never seen him in this state, I don't know how hard I'm willing to come down on the girl for this.

The part that is hard to reconcile is her being scared enough to justify calling the cops and her being fine the next day.

I might just attribute it to her judgment being off because she was likely quite drunk as well.

Still these kind of things can't happen. It could lead to serious consequences had it been a different set of cops.

You have to remember that Vintage's girlfriend is 19 (or sth).
From what I've gathered, her reaction didnt seem too unreasonable for her age and experience with this sort of behavior (lack of exposure to alcohol and the like).

Vintage you said: "She might of thought i was going to hit her(albeit irrationally)"

How the **** is that an irrational thought? You are drunk, punching wholes in the wall, and yelling at her...that seems like one of the most rational conclusions

Also im pretty sure if there was a handbook for one-time domestic abuse cases, this would be one of like 3 scenes depicted that lead up to it. And im also pretty sure both the victim and aggressor would say he would never do it, and the victim would say that she thought he would never do it.

+1

- Vintage was blackout drunk, this is the first case of this happening
- It also really depends on what the argument/yelling was over(havent gotten details but it appears liek a drunk person gonna drunk person situation)

Do you guys have any clue how many domestic violence cases in spots liek this could of been prevented if the victim called the cops like CRC did? LOL at her overreacting, im sure if vintage actually did something she was wrong in not calling the cops? But you guys have all met vintage irl and known him for years right? The simple truth is that she was scared and had the right to clal the cops...I really think its LOL your painting CRC to be the bad one in this situation (i mean the cops situation obv you all think vintage ****ed up).

am i missing a lot by not getting this TR, or do we have the jist of it? i just finished a big paper and the last thing i want to do is read a big diatribe. someone can pm me cliffs if the cliffs that were in the thread aren't enough to get the whole story.

the TR was just more detailed.. Pretty sure anyone who has read the posts about it has a good understanding of what went down.

i dont think anyone is blaming her for calling the cops per se, but you cant think it isnt healthy for a GF to need to call the cops on her BF. obviously we werent there but leaving/calling a friend, imo, is a much more normal reaction to the situation. also, the roommate or whoever was there so she wasnt alone and helplessly trapped with him or anything.

i agree with henry and karak on the situation.

It is a ****ty situation because you don't want to leave him in that state yet at the same time it can be pretty scary. My play in her situation would be to call some of his friends.

I agree that age is a factor. I have seen so many ****ed up people that it stopped phasing me.