[ ] proven to never work

so i am pretty thoroughly ****ing confused, last night she asked me to come over and help her with math which i was fairly sure she was capable of doing on her own and today we agreed to drop off homework in our discussion and leave/hang out before our next class, which all seem like very good signs.

the problem is when we are actually doing these sorts of things i get absolutely no sense that she is interested in anything further. i have no idea how to interpret the situation, on the one hand she seems to want to spend a lot of time with me but after that i get no sense she wants to go further, even when i try to say sort of probing statements to get some idea of where i'm at she pretty consistently gives me a kind of ambiguous response. i am starting to think i am just misinterpreting a friend-zoning or something or that we both are totally oblivious to the others intentions, either way it is getting annoying as hell

Here's my break down for you:
1)Make a move and

---A) life is good, it works out
---B) She rejects, it doesn't work out and you move on

2) Do nothing and waste your time wondering

Seems to me you're "friend-zoning", and unless you have a desire to acquire another friend, you only have one choice here.

Unless of course she has attractive friends, then it's okay to friend zone and look there.

Bacon just nailed it.

seems similar to my situation, and the answer is no one has any idea what girls do. ask a friend who is a girl, and they just admit girls are crazy.

Ok so around 3 week ago my mates and i go out on a thursday night. Anyway i meat this girl on dancefloor and we talk a little. ( i was tipsy, just enough that i was having good time, but not embarassing myself). Anyway i ask if she wants to grab a drink and sit down and talk. She says yes, but was driving so we just got cokes. When we are walking over to sit down i think it was at this stage she says " Btw i don't hook up with guys i have just met". I reply with " Yer no worries that's fine" or soemthign alogn thos lines.

So we are talking and getting along pretty well considering. We talk about usual stuff like uni which got us onto some unusual topics like watchign the discovery channel. I think she said she was a self confessed nerd but thats ok by me. It turns out she lives not to far from me and somehow or another i ended up asking for a lift home. We dance and talk some more before we leave.

Along with one of her friends we catch a cab roughly 10 minutes to where she parked her car ( I didn't have enough money lol but emptied my wallet for $18. felt very stingy obv). So she drives me home where its just general small chat in car with friend. I said ill add her on Fb so we can chat but pretty sure she said to just swap numbers (Hazey memory). All is swell as i got cheaper lift home.

That saturday I get friend request on fb just as thinking about texting her.I don't accept yet and text her saying " Thanks again for lift home, hope you had fun we should catch up some time". she replies couple hours later " Hey sam no worries, surprised to have a decent conversation etc etc. I don't usually make friends when go clubbing lol. Yeah itd be good to catch up. Maybe after exams and stuff are over? tc" I don't reply.

4 hours later than night i get text saying "btw forgot to say Ty for not being a douche the other night. Lol it sounds weird i know, but i appreciate it". I respond something along the lines of " haha good to know for future. hows your weekend been etc." she responds and also asks bout mine etc. Next day i accept friend request on Fb.

During that week we chat on fb and she suggests some music for me and me vice versa. The next night i text her to say thanks for recommendations ( this text was sort of just to stay in touch). and she replies " glad you like them!, yada yada yada". We talk again on fb few days later.

So she finishes exams and uni 2moro and is now free. When do i text her about catching up and what would be suggestion??


** excuse any spelling/ bad grammar.

was in exact same situation recently mate. pretty much absolute fail, u pretty much have to be sure ur gonna get sex and not be a clingy bitch or else ur fucc buddy op will be down the drain and u'll get sucked into a relationship. essentially i tried this we had nothing in common and she was a prude so no sex, little convo, she asked me out and i broke it off two months in

just because she didn't want to sex you the first time you met her doesn't necessarily make her a prude. Go easy on this one. Take her out, get to know her have some fun. She'll come around when the time is right. Just use enough kino to let her know your interested in her sexually. Offer her a backrub. whatever.

pretty sure this is just one big brag.
a text after your last exam "so glad those are over" or something?

Very nice it seems that you have played it well. Not accepting FB request right away was key as well. It seems that she is into you. I say you ask her out. It seems that is going to be a definite yes. Also I would mention if you two talk about the club again, that is was nice to meet a girl who didn't just want to have drunk sex and who was intelligent. But yeah I would say find something to do and just text her. But first I would text her a bit and then call her to ask her out. Might be just me, but I find asking someone out over a text is kinda lame.

MILF- it seems like its gonna be impossible to text her anything wrong... id just ask her to do something. if things are going well invite her back to watch the discovery channel haha.

pathetic update time:

things were cool in class today. she asked me where a building was, and i didnt know.
three minutes after class i bump into a friend of mine and ask him and text her:

me: were ******ed. the building is the one directly across.
her: hah i know i found it

5 minutes later i get pathetic and send her another text implying i want to hang tonight. immediately regret sending it. obv no response.

so i meet my friend at the diner to eat, and who else do i see there besides the girl. "hey". "hey". that was it.

go to class, walk home from class, see her again.
she waves.
me: are you stalking me?
her: clearly

i might just put together all my posts into one massive posts so i can show the full documentation of how bad i am at this.

stalking me line was solid... i wouldnt take her response as bad to that either.

i think you are reading too much into every little thing. from this post it doesnt seem like anything bad happened.

Hey,

Just a question, if she is on fb late a night and hardly anyone on does it matter that she doesn't start convo or anything?? Also Bam considering we haven't really talked about stuff except general interests etc how do i get to phonecall stage after text convo (ie how many texts or whatever)? I figured catching up for lunch was casual enough that if it went well i'd ask her out for dinner the next time. Whereas asking out for dinner via text may seem bit too keen. Thoughts if you understand what i am trying to say?

in case you cant tell, im supposed to take anti-anxiety meds. they make me too tired so i try to deal with it on my own. ive actually gotten a lot better, but you shoulda seen me at the diner. i couldnt sit still while i was telling my friend the story, i kept looking all around to make sure she wasnt around. he had to be like "dude, she somewhere else, sit still." i have very high anxiety and social anxiety. even when im drunk i have trouble approaching girls. which is why im so neurotic about this. i rarely find a girl im comfortable approaching.

in the current age asking someone to do something via text isnt that big a deal in my mind. i personally never FB chat at all so i wouldnt take anything from that. if you are afraid to just ask her straight up send her a feeler text like "hey what are you doing tonight/up to" etc. then if she says nothing say i was about to get some dinner you should come.

my friend told me something interesting about this situation today. he was like anyone can text, but to show confidence call her at 5 or 6pm. tell her you were heading to get something to eat and see if she wants to go with you.

that makes sense. i mean, youve done the hard part, you have approached her and are building a friendship with her. it gets easier from then on.

Looks like hardly anyone is getting into the panties in this thread. To cheer you guys up a little that you're not alone:

So I sent a message this morning to the girl in previous posts where I said something like "Well, the two most boring days of the week is over which calls for some sort of celebration! Want to hang out/do something tonight?"
I thought that was a pretty good message actually. Please come with feedback if you say otherwise. Anyways, so I got this reply
"Hi, maybe go to a cafe for a tea would be nice. Im not sure I want to see anybody since I got really bad news from my [home country] and the plane tickets is too expensive to afford."

So I was like GG me GG timing. Anyway I decided to stop messaging her so I basically sent her a response saying that I felt really bad for the news and that if she wanted, she could contact me today or later if she wanted.
She hasn't responded since.

So that's it huh?

gg.

Yeah you are definitely reading to much into things. You did fine, the stalker line was a very nice play. Definitely thinking on your toes and being witty, so brownie points were scored there. Just keep taking it a day at a time. As far your anti anxiety pills go, I know someone who is on the same meds. She is a very lovely girl, but sometimes freaks and I don't find it a turn off or weird at all. We all have our own quarks and habits. No one is perfect. So do not let any of that stress you out, nothing bad happened in the situation.

Cliffs: doing great, slow and steady wins the race.


No there is nothing wrong, there are plenty of times I am on FB and don't chat with anyone even if I have been meaning to talk to them. If you are up late and you see she is on I would suggest telling her something like this "Isn't it past your bed time" or something like that. It will probably get her to smile. As far as calling her goes. There is nothing wrong with suggesting something like "Hey what are your plans" or something you know. BUT I will tell you girls like to be called or even asked in person if they want to hang out or go to dinner or something. Whether they admit it or not, girls are old fashioned when it comes to asking them out.

^^ This.

Fail on your part. This is a great time for you to gain trust and a F*** ton of brownie points. You should have responded more compassionately "Wow I am really sorry to hear that. You want to get coffee and talk about it? If there is anything I can do to help you just let me know"

Thats all it takes. One and done. So I would suggest trying to make it better. You left it up to her when you should have taken the initiative. Whenever you are feeling like pooo the last thing you want to do is lay around and do nothing. If you make the plans, you are putting her at ease, plus being with you will ease the stress of feeling alone in the situation.

Yeah that makes kind of sense. But here's the thing. I met her last Friday and we talked like 1hr at the party then I followed her home (didn't go inside, was kind of a stalemate) and we talked there for like 1½hr or something. And she's been here since late August so I bet she's made better friends or w/e than she sees me as right now, even tho' I thought we got along great.. And she seems/seemed to think the same.

It would just feel kind of weird sitting at a café with her and trying to console her.. Maybe it's a worst case scenario and her mother died or something. I don't think I'm the right person to be by her side right now.. Even though I wouldn't say no I don't want to (or believe it's the right thing) push myself hard to get really personal with her right now.

I do think the bolded part is a good last line but I didn't write anything really close to that. fml.

maybe she needs a friend to talk to dude. at worst, youll be spending time with a cool chick. at best she will like you back. you are making a lot of assumptions in your post. like your entire post is one "i think" "i bet" "she seems" after another. i would send a text or even call and say i hope youre feeling ok, im free pretty much all day, when is good for you to go get that tea?

turnupthesun @ umd

hello fellow terp