that's normal. it would be pretty concerning if you got soulcrushed over a 2 month somewhat casual dating relationship dissolving.

soul crushings should be over 12 month relationships minimum... maybe 6, but probably 12.

yeah obv i was just trying to give an example of where id be at. im in a weird mood right now anyway.

You're already in a relationship, you just don't know it yet.

And I'd just text her something like "we are apparently quite the drama queens when neither of us remember what happened". After that just forget about it and move on.

This beatch either has incredible she-game or is off her rocker. I'm not sure yet because she is clearly doing something right.

i dont think referring to you collectively as "drama queens" is a smart idea, but something along those lines could work.

and yes, you are in a relationship, as he said.

"i turned into a stupid crying girl and wouldnt tell you what was wrong... at least i guess thats why you left, it was the last time i saw you"

>>"oh... are you ok now"

"Yeah im fine"

>>"thats good... i wish i hadnt left. sounds like i was probably being a drunk ass myself. when are you getting your stitches out" (she has stitches above her eye from falling on ice the last time i was with her)

"its whatever. i guess sometime today, im actually still in bed and pretty hungover right now, ill prob go whenever my headache goes away"

>>"yeah im surprised im up and about. if you want some company at the hospital let me know. what are you doing tonight?"


that last one i sent was about an hour and a half ago. all the other texts were in a span of 10 minutes. i shouldnt have asked her what she was doing tonight that was dumb.

I'm sarcastic as hell with my friends and any chick I'm dating would know that I don't actually mean that and was just trying to diffuse the situation. I guess if you're not sarcastic she might think you're serious so that would be bad.

You're already dating... if your text game isn't superb it's not the end of the world.

lol its funny that you say we're dating because all my friends have been giving me **** about that for awhile now. which is also funny because as of like a week ago i definitely did not want to date her officially and now i think i do.

me and two of my roomates have an unspoken man pool to see who can go the longest without being FBO hahaha (they are each with a chick as well)

The last two times it has happened have been very different. I'm a huge flirt and have a lot of female friends so it's not uncommon. I'm never interested in my female friends because they're friend zoned more or less.

Girl 1-- We hung out a lot, she was part of my going out crew, etc. One night we're drunk at some party and she decides to tell me she's been interested for a really long time. We talked about it a bit, and things returned to normal a few weeks later.

Girl 2-- Probably my closest girl friend. We hung out a few times right after I moved back to the states. We had always had a really touchy feely friendship so at some point we're cuddling and start making out. I thought it was implied that we were just happy to see each other (even though we were sober) but that wasn't how she read it. Honestly if she was shorter I'd probably like her but she's like 5'11 (I'm 5'10) and I just can't like a girl that tall.

Again, we talked about it and once I started talking about other girls/asking her about other guys that one returned back to normal too.

met a girl at a party last night.
we talked on the couch for a while, lots of physical contact (no kissing though).
we were both drunk as hell.
got her number.
based on how drunk we were, im not even sure if she remembers me, but im gonna assume she does.
my move?

call/text and ask what she is doing tonight, but dont do it till like 8 pm when its night time.

this is awful.

i'd wait a few days and then invite her to join you somewhere. be sure to frame it casually and it will be a lot more effective if it is a group outing. you met a girl hammered and then text her the very next night inquiring about what she's doing? she'd have to be really into you or have significant rapport to react positively and/or not get a creep vibe from you. i'd say there's only a 5-10 % chance of that at this point.

I have a 48 hour rule but if the conversation the previous night went REALLY well this would be ok.

dont read into a non-response or long delay. plenty of other reasons for that. you're over-thinking.

and don't initiate a "talk" with her about your relationship status. speak with your actions, not your words. the guy should never ever ever initiate the "soooo what are we?" talk. ever.

there is absolutely no way given the circumstances, especially considering how hammered he claims she and he were, that this is the right move. it's a one-way ticket to creeper ville unless turnupthesun is unbelievably charming and attractive and even then she was hammered so she's probably fuzzy on it all.

i hate this. i got a girl's number at the bar one night and texted the next night to see if she was going out*. she asked "who's this?" and either did some good acting or just plain didn't know who i was. i saw her at the bar that night and had 0 clue what to do about it since every possible scenario seemed ****ing horrible.

*-> to clarify- when she gave me her number she said something along the lines of "text me tomorrow night if you go out, I might see you there" or whatever.

now i add details which could change the situation.
at the party, i suggest we go out to a bar so we can dance (the party was not fun). she agrees.
she finds her "big", whom she came with, and they decide to smoke first.
i walk into the room where a few people are smoking and shes all like happy to see me blah blah blah standard being wasted behavior.
i sit on the ground next to her, engage in similar non-aggressive physical behavior.
her big decides they should go home.
o and shes a freshman.

none of this changes anything. your probability of success here overall is very low, although i do like the attempt at a venue change, but if you call/text her tonight your probability of success is close to 0

unless she's unreal desperate and/or you are ridiculously charming/attractive.

wtf is a big?

it's an obnoxious term used in fraternities. whenever someone says anything along the lines of "my big" i want to stab them in the face with a fork.

if they say "grand big" or "step big" then change the fork to a flaming fork

i disagree. it is Saturday night, therefore asking her to get in a party setting is a good plan, rather than waiting until a tuesday or wednesday for some awkward meeting.

the girl wouldnt be creeped if she met him hammered and was willing to give the number, its better imo to keep it in that medium (drinking situations) and she is either gonna be down to go or not.

i say this thinking TUTS is looking to hook up then possibly build a relationship, not the other way around. its no different than walking up to a girl in the bar and getting shut down/or not its just via contacting her and you have a head start that she is probably into you.

when you are new to a frat/sorority, you are given a "big", someone already in it who is your support system.

This is terribly wrong, but you should be able to see why. Girls regret ****ing guys when they are drunk quite routinely, what makes you think they wouldn't regret giving out a number?

If he is going to approach her tonight, then "what are you doing tonight" is a terribad way to open the conversation.

His best approach is to bring up something from the conversation the night before and relate it to her. Then invite her to come along tonight with whatever you are doing. For example: say you were discussing how much turnupthesun loves green beans. "Hey, it's the dude who loves green beans. You ever figure out X?" X being something discussed in conversation.

"Hey, it's turnupthesun. What are you doing tonight?" no no no no no

and why does he have to do it tonight? is he desperate?

It's also important to realize that meeting a girl hammered/at a party/drunk can lead to easy activation of the "whore alarm." You don't want to set off the "whore alarm," especially if you are thinking about a relationship.