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I did go to the school's Halloween party with her last month too...I had a Viking costume on, she had a ballerina costume. She texted me to see when I was headed to the party, I told her I was at a mutual friend's place and she should come on by and we'd head over together. When she got there, I suggested getting a picture together...she readily agreed, and the gal I gave my camera to said to her, "So, are you going to do a ballerina pose?" I said "screw that, I'm the Viking here, I pick the pose," and from a foot away I reached my arm around her, forcefully pulled her in and said, "I'm calling this one 'to the victor go the spoils.'" I figured the costume gave me every excuse to do this, and she laughed and seemed to enjoy it. So, I do try to do the physical contact thing where I can.
But honestly, I think this thing is far from a slam dunk. All I've done so far in this thread is accentuate positive signs. On the flip side, I can tell you that I've tried offering to walk her home before and have been declined more than once. Just doesn't seem like something an interested girl would decline. On Halloween night after the party she didn't decline, probably realized how nutty it would be for her to walk home down a poorly lit street after midnight on a holiday like that. She said, "Are you sure?" I of course insisted, she said "okay, I just didn't want to put you to the trouble since it's quite a bit of walking." I told her, "You might want to wake up and realize by now that I don't consider time spent with you to be an inconvenience." She said, "Well...okay. That's true. You're just a lot less convinceable than my friends in undergrad were." The way she talked about this made me think that she didn't really even consider the whole "walk her home" thing to be any kind of romantic gesture. In any case, since that time I offered to walk her home again and was again turned down despite my best efforts to convince her otherwise. I guess I could try to explain that away by a combination of her (1) not necessarily seeing it as a romantic gesture and (2) having a bit of a feminist streak to her, but it still seems like a pretty bad signal she's putting out.
That, and an overall friend vibe I get from her...I'm just not convinced that I've got anything close to a slam dunk here. Still seems like something of an uphill battle to me.
Honestly, I'm not seeing the huge benefit you're referring to in getting her to buy me a drink. Assuming it works, where does that really get me?
Getting a girl to buy you a drink establishes dominant, leading behavior and shatters some of the subservient begging for attention attitude a lot of guys give girls. It's new and interesting and different. Attractive women have guys buy them drinks all the time. It's meaningless (unless you are out one-on-one, then that's a different situation).
Also, getting a girl to buy you a drink is a usually great indicator of interest. Not ALWAYS, but you can judge the situations based on your existing relationship with the girl. In this situation as you just described it with your most recent post, I don't think you can get a read off of her reaction. Be sure to frame it jovially... don't be a douche about it.
I now understand things better with your last post. It seems like you've acted almost asexually towards her for a long time. I don't mean in the sense that you made no sexual advances, but that you have shown little to no interest, but still have catered to a lot of her needs. You are just kind of... there.
The only interest you did show is through awkward lines like this, which I shuddered when I read:
"You might want to wake up and realize by now that I don't consider time spent with you to be an inconvenience."
Gubghghg I can just feel the momentary awkward silence after that. You need to be more aloof.
I still think there's potential here though, you just need to change your approach. Don't be afraid to give attention to other women at the bar when you are there. Don't sit there and be her entertainment/lap dog all night. Make her work to earn YOUR attention. But don't be standoffish and laissez-faire either. I know this advice is inherently contradicting, but you need to find a balance. This takes practice. You'll probably **** it up for a while.
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Originally Posted by dannyc43
We need some success stories ITT. Don't know if MILF still readas thread but he seemed to be advancing well, wonder if any updates possible? how bout u turnupsun anything cracking?
I think you guys would find a majority of my stories boring. They're all pretty standard.
Here's a mini-story which builds on the get her to buy you a drink scenario:
At a bar with a large group of friends. I had been "involved" (draw your own conclusions) with a couple of the girls there, and I was talking to one of them. This new girl who I had just met kept coming over and sitting near me to talk to me, and I was switching between her and the other girl. I turned back to the new girl at one point and said, "hey dork you want to do me an enormous favor?"
"what's that?"
"can you go up and get me a beer?"
She makes a pouty face, "are you serious?"
I don't even flinch, "stone cold."
She grins widely and jumps up and says, "Ok!" She then walks halfway to the bar, then turns back and says, "On your tab right?"
I make a (clearly forced) sad face and say, "Sure, if you have to." (This is a tough spot because I don't want to back down, but at the same time I don't want to look poor. I kind of hedged, and I think I handled it fine.)
That beer wasn't on the bill when I closed out my tab later in the night. This is the girl who is showing overt interest in me lately, and I think I was wrong for kind of dismissing it at first, although I have been distracted with finals. She's been texting me asking to study, so I think I'll do that tomorrow and see how it goes. I'll TR here if you guys really want, but I don't find my romantic life terribly interesting for the most part. It's all pretty standard stuff. The parts that ARE interesting really shouldn't be posted, out of respect for the people involved... yes even though they don't read 2+2, I don't feel comfortable doing that since other IRL friends of mine do read it.
Last edited by Karak; 12-10-2009 at 03:19 AM.