It doesn't make sense. I can't find a reason to even think of contacting her again. I don't think her phrasing of it being a "phase" is right. Void sounds better, she creates these drama-filled situations to make up for her loneliness. Going through a phrase would be to do it once, but it looks like she's constantly in the same cycle. Game select better and take the women up on that offer for next weekend.

This makes her actions seem slightly more rational. She honestly expected you to beg and plead and do anything for her, just like any other guy she has done this too. Karak I would guess she was the hottest girl in high school to be used to such fawning.


Karak if it makes you feel better, about a month or two from now she will have such a huge crush on you, the guy she let get away, that you can then soul crush her. Assuming you completely ignore her for a month or two.

Mandor: I think your reply is accurate. At one point she was nearly BEGGING me to tell her that I was hurt or disappointed. She would do or say things and ask if they bother me (knowing they do). She WANTED me to be hurt, and she WANTED me to react that way. It strokes her ego and gives her power over me.

Smiling, driving her home and dropping her off with a goodnight was, in a sick way, pleasurable because it was the exact opposite of the behavior she expected and wanted.

lol just told one of my close friends this morning about what happened last night and here is her reply:

"What? That doesn't make any sense. I saw you two together a lot... it sounded/looked like she was absolutely obsessed with you. Are you sure?" lol

Just knowing that this will bother her would never be enough for me. I would want proof that she got the message, and that it bothered her. You're a bigger man than I am. You send one of mine to the hospital, I'll send one of yours to the morgue.

Edit: one of my closest IRL friends got jerked around by a woman that he appeared to be 100% in with and was telling me about it last night. I was furious by some of the stuff he described. Your story was even worse. Naturally the two have combined to make me seem especially bitter.

Cliffs: Girls remain evil.

I actually don't think they mean anything by it, they aren't trying to be mean, it's just most girls are eternally confused by the world. They don't know what they want and just kinda let their random feelings and events guide them along.

I mean, it's not just that they don't have a message board where they talk about how to get guys, it's that they don't even think about relationships on that level. Things just happen when you're a girl.

Fly,

Girls think about this stuff a lot and discuss/analyze in excruciating detail with their friends.

All yelling at her would do is increase her feeling of empowerment. It won't be, "oh my gosh im an awful person im so sad look at how i hurt this guy." It will be, "haha look at what an emotional, unhinged mess I turned this usually rational, older more mature guy into. Wow what a wreck he is. Look at how desperate he is and how much I hurt him."

Now I could say some things to her which would personally insult her and, knowing her weaknesses, go square at the root of her lack of self-esteem and really unhinge/hurt her, but I'm just not like that.

I can only offer my sympathies karak, I've never experienced any crazy like that so I can't really hope to understand what you're going through. Look on the positive side, at no point did you think she was 'the one'. Now you've got a chance to go find her.


I'd feel really bad if I took a raincheck on this girl. I'd turn up anyways and just cut it short if the conversation doesn't go well. Girls are also usually useful for meeting other girls that you may be more interested in.

I do agree with this, but I do not think BG did tbh. She really doesn't have many girlfriends.

Her closest gf facebook chatted me one time at like 2:30 AM (this was last week) when it was apparent from my FB status messages that I was hammered. She started grilling me on BG and asking if she and I hooked up.

I just said, "Doesn't BG tell you these things? Shouldn't you know?"
And she replied, "BG never tells any of her girlfriends anything about guys or ever talks about them. I have no idea. She's so guarded with stuff like this for some reason."

It might be because the last time she told this girl about a boy she liked, this girl went and hooked up with him, but seriously other than this girl I don't know any females BG is close friends with, and I'm pretty well tapped into her extended social circle back at UG (you'll have to trust me on this one; the reasoning why is long and stupid to explain).

I get all of this. I totally already knew all of this. I'm fully aware that you made the "right" decision.

Like I said, you're a bigger man than me.

Anyway, kudos for keeping your cool, even if my petty side just wants the catharsis of reading an "unloading on BG" TR.

BANG THIS CHICK

I KNOW YOU AREN'T MARRIED BUT JFC YOU HAVE TO JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DO IT

Girls will almost never trade a therapist for a boyfriend, because it's a lot easier to lose a boyfriend over a breakup then a friend. She probably feels that he's become too important and too big a part of her life to risk it on a relationship that could go south. I'd say keep it cool and continue as played, assuming she's looking for a reaction

karak- brutal. im pretty much in shock. what the ****. ive never hit a chick before, but i would be compelled to next time i see her. what the ****.

yeota: no doubt in my mind she's going to question you or try to get a reaction out of you next time you see her. plzzzz dont spew (i know you wont but it just makes me feel better to say it).

selective quoting from my 130am post:
FW texted me earlier to get the stream for the la liga games... weird cuz we usually watch big game together but w/e. update her on the scores and give her the site, she is saddened by barcas lead and that was that, told myself not gonna text her back or anything. cuz i ball hard like that

she just called at 5 to go play soccer cuz they needed 1 more for 3v3.. so i go and shes there with this fker ERIC.

things are chummy with me and FW during the game, we are on same team making magical passes and shes doing her stepover thing that makes me swoon. however over the course of the game and in btwn games i deduce that they were at the pool earlier as he says smth bout lifeguarding and she had her suit on, then they played tennis, then we all met up for the soccer with me, FW, eric, and 3 of his friends.

things about eric (henceforth dubbed My Arch Nemesis, or MAN):
-hes like an inch taller than me, so a half inch taller than her. advantage MAN.
-hes not as good looking as i am (if you remember back, i rated myself slightly above avg, this kid is prob like a ~6). advantage ZZ
-hes WAY skinnier than me. im 170 and extremely athletic looking, but im well aware of the many many many girls who prefer the super skinny ones. advantage unknown (for now)
-hes good at tennis (beat her by a lot), im bad at tennis (FW beat me by alot), and hes bad at soccer and im really good. advantage unknown (fornow)
-he will be here all summer, i leave june 8th, FW leaves june 25th. advantage MAN
-hes blonde, im italian looking. advantage probably MAN (assuming she fits in with the latin stereotype of loving blonde guys)
-im on the corec team with FW, but since im good at soccer and MAN & his friends are mediocre they asked me to play with them in the mens league as well. i should be able to use this insider opportunity to find out all of his weaknesses.

plan of action:
i figure by june 8th i can prob drop about 15 lbs. should FW be the kind that prefers super skinny, i will negate that advantage. ill also start practicing tennis every day until im the next rafael nadal - and even change my name to rafa if need be. im also quitting smoking (just in case she knew MAN before wednesday and that was what made her change tunes). 23 days is more than enough time imo.

GAMEEEEE ONNNNN

lol'd at analysis in last post...gl ZZ top

Hey ZZ,

You forgot the major disadvantage that you are ******ed drunk and smelling of cigars every time you see this girl. Game over imo.

i considered this, but i thought 2 things:

a) i just dont think that's the case here judging from what she said/did. she would have been more coy. plus her constant prodding saying things to tilt me then gauge my reply points the other way.

b) if that is the case she will come crawling back in about 72 hours and make it blatantly obvious. i doubt this will happen. if it does she can eat ****.

also in a convo with yeota right now kinda came to the following realizations:

BG was a lot like my ex with 2 key differences... BG is more intelligent (tbh most outside observers would reach an opposite conclusion... but knowing both girls well there's really no doubt about this) and has a much sharper wit (especially when it came to social situations) and she was (maybe an issue of opinion but i think most would agree) also more attractive... so i was pretty much ****ing dead in the water since this hit me right at the time that i was reaching the point of "ok it's time to get over the ex completely"

i dont see how i could have escaped this situation except by folding preflop and if you consider where i was when the BG situation hit (still reeling from the ex a bit, AB situation had just gone to **** on me, C went psycho, etc.) i dont think we can really expect even the most rational man to get away from those cards there

sorry for the poker analogies. back to your regularly scheduled non-karak SL-ask-a-girl-out-thread programming.

haha well 1. she may or may not know about either of those. in any case, 2. im stopping both for the next 23 days.

also upon recollection she has known this dude a while, and refers to him as her friend. while i still couldnt gauge her attraction level towards him it was relatively clear imo that he likes her. either way, he is still my enemy for 23 days as he has eaten into my FW time.

It's not exactly as though you checked a bad hand in an unraised BB and got trapped though (man it sucks when that happens). It's sort of like you had a run of ****ty cards, a few minor beats here and there, then got dealt QJs under the gun. I mean, it surely looks pretty, but there's a reason that voices were in your head saying "don't do this..." right from the beginning.

Naturally I don't mean to pile on you at all at this moment, you got ****ing screwed over here. However, don't lose the lesson here about hand selection by justifying the entire thing away as a result of bad luck.

YOU KEEP INSISTING ON CALLING IT THAT, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

You leave on June 8th for how long, ZZ? If you won her back over, how long would it take to even get to see her again?

heading over to england for the WC, get back stateside august 1st .. she is back home from june 25th - like august 5th. at this point really its less about "get in a relationship" than it is "make sure she doesnt start liking some other donk, while simultaneously laying the foundation for something when we come back for fall semester" and im a master rekindler