Originally Posted by Eeyorefora
OK,another one,just a total train wreck but I'm bored...
(Stop right now if you don't want tldr)
I'm out one night with a buddy,and he's the driver.
We go to an after-party when the bar closes,and I meet a sweet looking Indian chick (think of Pocahontas from Disney) and she wants some coke.
I happen to have some,so she offers to give me a ride to her place.
We get there,do the coke,and proceed to rail each others brains out.
We get done,and I call my buddy,no answer..
She gets kinda paranoid,I figured its the coke,no worries.
I finally get hold of my ride,he's half asleep and says he will get me in the morning,which is only an hour or so away,but I agree.
I figured I'd tear it up a little more,but she's dressed and trying to hustle me out the door.
It's January,freezing cold,no way I'm going outside til my buddy shows up.
She says,whatever you do,don't look out the window.
??
So I don't,until a pair of headlights shine up the house.
So I looked out the window,it's not my friends car,so I go sit down to wait for him.
All of a sudden,there's banging on the door.I don't know any better and go answer it...
And this dude grabs me,and wants to know what I'm doing at his apartment.
I don't know what to say,he yells at me,this is his apartment,and wants to know where his wife is.
She has run into the bedroom in the meantime,and I'm trying to figure out what is going on.
I look at the wall,and there's a picture of a couple of kids,so I say I'm the babysitter,yet the kids aren't there.
(BTW,that girl must have had them by c section,cause that **** was tight.I didn't get a good look)
So he asks where the kids are,and she pops her head out of the bedroom and says her sister came and picked them up earlier,and I'm waiting for my ride.
Bear in mind it's about 5 in the morning.
They proceeded to get into a knockdown drag out fight,she retreats into the bedroom,and evidently calls 911.
Cops show up,and I'm cowering on the couch,they talk to the couple,and decide its not worth the hassle.
I ask them for a ride to a store or something,anywhere to get outta here,they say if I go with them,it's going to be jail.
So I stay,and call my buddy again,he answers,he's sleeping at somebody's house,but he says he will come get me.
Cops leave,the couple go into the bedroom,and proceeded to have hardcore make-up sex.
I sit on the living room couch,listening,and wondering if the guy has any clue what bodily fluids he's getting sloppy seconds from.
Can't even enjoy it,cause I'm afraid he's going to see my handiwork and come out of the bedroom and kill me.
Eventually my ride shows up,and I get the hell out of Dodge.
A couple weekends or so later,I run into the guy at another party,and he profusely apologizes to me for his actions that night.
I act cool and say no big deal,amazed at how lucky I am.
His wife is there as well and she comes up to me and wants to go **** in the bathroom.
Luckily my big head overruled the little head,and I politely declined.
Found out later through mutual acquaintances he had served time for manslaughter.
And my friend still thinks it was hilarious,all these years later..