on jersey shore they say people hooked up if they like peck each other on the lips

to me it means any sort of sexual activity between two people, not necessarily intercourse. i mean if someone gets a BJ, are you gunna say they didn't hook up?

I absolutely refuse to watch Jersey Shore no matter how many pop culture references I miss.

But okay I now have a better scope of what you're saying.

OK I NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE

I've been noticing this girl in my class for the past few weeks. It's a fairly big class and i havent had the oppotunity to actually sit next to or talk to her.

So the semester is going to end in one week (then another week of finals). I really want to get to know her better. I don't know anything about her, not even her name.

I'm thinking to just go straight up to her and tell her I want to get to know her better. It sounds creepy but with only 1week left, I don't think I have to time waste.

WHATS MY MOVE BROS?

fwiw, shes not a partying slut type i think. also im a 3rd year in college

You don't know her name but you have a feel for how much she parties and has sex?

Your current plan is extremely unlikely to succeed. Go up to her and bring up the final or something, just try to play it from there...but a rehearsed line like "I want to get to know you better" is really a low-odds play.

She will probably think you're a weirdo. I'd suggest something along the lines of inviting her to eat caramels with you.



And guys:

Hook up=sex
Fool around with=anything >making out but< sex
Make out with=make out with

yeah........ so is there a better way? asking her to study finals together is basically the same thing right?

Yes, if you go right up and do that. Don't do that.

I said "bring up the final." I just said that because I know it's common ground that you two have. If you have other common ground worth starting a conversation with, do that instead.

If you've decided you want to do this without knowing a damn thing about her, she must be ****ing hot. Hot women are like Hannibal Lecter...if you go in with an agenda, they'll immediately see through you, toy with you for a while, and then turn to stone. So, don't have an immediate agenda that she can see through.

Go in without a goal of how to end the first conversation. Just talk to her and see where it leads. It COULD lead to an open opportunity to invite her to study together, but that's not likely. Just talk to her. Be cool. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything beyond making a good first impression.

tbh I have no confidence in this guy to pull it off without spewing that he's hitting on her even if he is spoonfed an entire routine step-by-step... he just cant frame it properly.

however, trying and failing is important and will help him learn how to approach it better next time. do your best to frame the conversation in an incidental way that won't set off her "HE'S HITTING ON ME ZOMG LOLZ" alarms

Well sure, I totally agree with this.

But odds of this cold approach working have to be slightly better than doing absolutely nothing, and as you noted if he's willing to learn if he fails, then he should go right ahead.

EDIT DELETE IM DRUNK

What if i dont have sex with her and we just go out. It isn't illegal. Shes 16 in November so i guess its not too bad. Plus she doesnt look 15 and shes very mature for her age.

Wait until she's legal. Look elsewhere in the meantime for girls that you don't have to ask these questions about. You're playing a dangerous game by even putting yourself in the position you're talking about, because nothing about your posts suggests that you would necessarily follow through on holding off.

I will try my best not to have sex with her until shes legal. But I'm sure its ok to go out with her for now.

If "try your best" is all the resolution you can muster to a bunch of anonymous people, it's obvious that you'll cave in the face of pressure.

But it sounds like your mind is made up, so do what you're gonna do.

If you already had your mind made up, why did you come ITT asking for advice?

I recommend going to OOT and just copy/pasting this post into every single thread. You would rarely be off-base.

They'd either ban me or make me a mod, lol

A couple of months ago I met up again after years time with a high school girl whom I secretly loved for almost my last 3 school years. Never happened anything, she's 1 year younger and now very changed.
We met up again in a party, talked a lot and I escorted her to her house at the end of the night. At her door, I asked for email and promised her I will attend to a play she's working on (she has a degree on design and is working setting up scenery, scenography mainly for theater plays).
I went to the play a couple weeks ago, made a nice return of what I saw, and the emails kept coming & going. [Email is the only way I have to contact her, since I dont have her cell, home phone, etc. She's not on facebook aim or msn also.]
Back in the old days, I think she was suspicious of my intentions or my feelings, but I've never explicited or made clear my feelings towards her.
Two days ago I emailed her an invitation to a party that was the second edition of the same party we met up again months ago. Yesterday she answered that she wasn't sure about being able to go, because her twin sister (yeah, she has an identical sister) was in the organization of the Earth Day concert and she was planning to spend the afternoon there. She also pasted in the email the web site address of the event and said that if I wanted to go, she will be there...
I went to the concert and at first it was difficult because there were a lot of people but I managed to get to the organization tent on the backstage and saw her sister. She was here and there, very busy, she passed in front of me several times but i doubt she saw me at all. I was thinking about asking her for her sister, but I wasn't able to...don't know why...

Half an hour later, mixed somewhere within the concert crowd, I saw her (the main twin, not her sister) but she was accompanied by a guy. This was very dissapointing at first, but a steady undercover following of the couple told me that they were only friends, no hugs, no kisses, always a comfortable distance and chat between them.

I guess, but i'm not sure, that her or maybe her sister, one of them, saw me.
I think that for me it wasn't worth the try to go and say hello when she's sharing the concert with another guy, friend. Because I went to the concert looking for some quality time with her, and since I don't think she was going to let alone her friend for us to be "alone", i preferred to play the stalker role, make sure she isnt dating the other guy and take off.

But i dont know...i think she or her sister probably saw me for a moment.

So i emailed her today something like this: Read your msg and went to the concert but when i saw the crowd i resigned my willingness to found you. Awesome event interesting thing the organic food tent. Congratulations to your sister, blah blah"



Im considering now sending another email telling the truth..but idk, not sure. Best option from here?

Should have said hello to her, chatted for a few minutes and then moved along. Your behavior seems creepy from reading your description. Just because you couldn't reasonably isolate doesn't mean that you shouldn't have acknowledged her. So much less chance of being seen as a creeper if you just say hi, act cool and move along like you have better things to do.

Also, why did you ask for her e-mail instead of her number when you walked her home?

Because at the moment i thought that asking for her phone was much more compromising than asking for her email. I wanted to look casual and open ended, comfortable to look things build itself

Dude, you are seriously the creepy guy and from what I can tell, you got 0 chance at getting with her.
You simply lack self-esteem.

Man up, go to her and talk to her. That's what you should have done after you made the initial mistake, which was imo the backing out of your original plans. You shoulda gone to your party. The way it played out, you seem really needy to me.

The truth? What on earth would you say in this e-mail?

Preliminarily this sounds like a terrible idea, but I'm not sure what you'd be planning to say.

Yeah, I was gonna mention that too. Backing out of his own plans on the mere chance that he might get to talk to her for a few minutes is puppy dog stuff.

Telling the truth to someone you havent had anything with is in almost all cases a terrible idea. You wont win her this way (this isnt Disney or Hollywood).

I would just cut if off and go on to the next girl.

Spurious the concert was like 12 pm till 12 am
The party was from 2 am on
As she was spending all the afternoon and part of the night at the concert, i guess she wasnt sure how tired would she be to attend to the party

LKJ, there's a chance she saw me. My truth e-mail would be: I went to the concert, I saw you, but I lacked the guts to approach you & say hi because i saw you with a friend and didnt want to bother you both or something along those lines